13 months!

Kaua is 13 months old today. He is still as cute as ever. He is not walking and seems perfectly content to just cruise. He stands on his own more and more every day, but hasn't really tried to take any steps on his own. He can walk (very tentatively) when holding onto my hands though. It's high time I get him good shoes though. I have some cheapies from walmarta but they're not very bendy, so he has a hard time walking or doing anything with his feet in those.Poor guy was playing out in the yard yesterday when the hubsters and I were weeding and he got blister burns all on the tops of his toes from sraping the ground and cement when crawling. He eventually started crawling on his feet and hands, kinda like a bent over walk, b/c his feet were so sore. He was a champ though and didn't complain once, so of course I didn't notice the burns until it was too late. He didnt' even complain during bath when I washed his feet. I swear, this boy has a high tolerance for pain b/c he'll whack his head on a wall or somehting and it wont phase him. Though, this doesn't mean I want to test him either.

The boy is still a HUGE mommies boy and will wail at the top of his lungs when I leave the room. while this is endearing, this is also stressful, b/c I have to sneak away often or bring him with me whenever I leave the room.

and ofcourse, we haven't sleep trained him, so he STILL sleeps with us for half the night. He'll wake up screaming blood murder and I have to bring him into our bed and give him a bottle of milk to quiet him down. Ugh, talk about doing the things you're totally advised NOT to do in "the books". Yeah, "the book" says we need to get them to fall asleep on their own, in their crib, which totally doesn't happen. "the book" also says not to give them milk at night b/c it could rott their teeth (yup, I'm guilty of that too), and "the book" says to try not to pick them up in their cribs when they cry at night for you....(sorry, I totally pick him up and bring him in our room). So I know, I'm doomed to be one of those parents who has a 3 year old in bed with them. Who in the heck has the time or the energy to pull middle of the night contest of wills to train their kids to sleep on their own and not have a bottle? who???? All I know is, I'm in survival mode when it comes to getting Kaua to sleep and sleep well throughout the nite, so if he needs that bottle and to sleep with me in order for both of us to get some sleep, then so be it. One day I'll figure this "book method" out.....hopefully.

Well, it's official...we're pregnant - Again!

Yuppers,everything went A-ok at the doctor's today. Little baby #2 (need to come up with a niickname like two-bbers, B2, or something...) is measuring 8 weeks exactly. Doc said b/c baby is measuring so close to my LMP, which is 8 weeks 3 days, that he's going to keep my EDD as 8/5/11, instead of the ultrasound EDD which is 8/8/11. He said the ultra sound is plus or minus 1 week in accuracy and when the US is so close in time to LMP, the LMP is generally the more accurate. This logic sounds good to me since Kaua came 1.5 weeks early when we used the ultrasound EDD.

So doc did a vaginal ultrasound. When he put that thing in there, at first we didn't see much, but as he moved it around, you could totally see a little blob, and then soon after you saw a little flickering which was the heartbeat. Doc was pretty cool and turned the screen so that both of us could see exactly what he was seeing at the same time. (I hate when they keep the screen facing away from you and make you wait to see anything, what is up with the secrecy? It is my lady parts afterall!) Anyways, Doc showed me the head and measured from there to the tail to get my EDD. He also showed me the yolk sac which he said was looking normal. He also showed me what appeared to be a slight septate in my uterus, which I remember my old OBGYN (who did the surgery for the septate) said I would still have, but that it wouldn't cause any problems with pregnancies. This new doc, Dr. K (who I LOVE!! very cool down to earth local boy, did his med school and residency in Hawaii and is from my hometown), said it almost looked like it could have been a bicornate uterus. Way too technical for me, but I think that means when the uterus is heart shaped. Anyways, he took one picture (just one??) of bebe 2 and gave it to me. I'll need to upload it later to share. Bebe 2 looks like a little gummy bear so far.

I didn't really ask much questions, bc hello, I'm like a pro now that this is my 2nd kid. duh! When the nurse asked me if I had the WTEWE book, I was like, shah, yeah, I have them all!

I'm such a pro that when doc asked if I had questions, the only thing I asked was about the drugs. There are rumors that the local hospital (did I mention, the ONLY hospital on this island) does NOT do epidurals!!! WTF!? People give birth w/o epidurals nowadays????? You've got to be kidding me. But, Dr. K, tried to reassure me. He said, they do something similar to my beloved epi, but it wears off in 2-3 hours. I was like, hellow, my labor with Kaua was 10 hours and I needed the epidural for the whole time!!!! OMG...we need a back up plan!! But doc said,we could do the "other thing" (I forget what it's called) twice and they've recently been giving epidurals but it all depends on if the anesthesiologist is working or not. Dr. K also said he's had less complications with option #2, then with an epidural. I'm still not satisfied and am going to need to give birth elsewhere somehow.

Anyways, I digress....we'll figure this out later..in 7 months perhaps. Holy smokes a mommy of 2 in 7 months.....what the heck was I thinking?!!! Kaua is a handful on his own. I cant believe I'll have two of 'em in less than 1 year.

Doc said there's no cause for concern for me, so I dont see him again for 4 more weeks...or Jan. 26. The appt was pretty quick and then i went and did my labs,where they withdrew half the blood in my body. Hello do you really need 6 vials of blood??? geeze, what's the poor kid going to live on?

So I've decided I'm going to go the ever "original" route of telling people by making Kaua wear a "I'm going to be a big brother" t-shirt. I just ordered it from cafe.press today...but b/c I live in boonieville, it's not going to arrive here until after the new year. (and I even ordered it on the fast shipping track).

My tummy is already kinda showing, but if you dont know what to look for, you'd think I just kind of went overboard on the holiday eating (which I did). So I'm probably not going to go "live" with these posts until after I get the shirt and have had a chance to have him wear it around friends and family. I wonder how many people will get it right away? I'd probably be one of those people who dont even notice the writing on the shirt. Lol.

Anyways, so yup, operation, grow this baby #2 is underway.

Today is a big day!

Today is a big day. Not only is Kaua 13 months old, but we will find out for certain whether he is going to be a big brother come early August. My doctor's appointment is today, at 9:30am. Of course, we will have an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. My mind is filled with excitement and anxiety. There are two scenarios, both of which i have previously experienced that could happen. I could see a beautiful squirmy gummy bear on the ultrasound, complete with heartbeat, or I could see nothing, an empty uterus, or an empty sac. I've been trying not think about this day, and only think positive. On the one hand, I feel pregnant. I've had some nausea, my nipps are a little sensitve, I'm always tired, my tummy is a little bloated, and I havent had AF since the end of October. On the other hand, I feel normal, the nausea is rare, the nipps haven't been sensitive until very recentily, the tiredness could just be lazy, the bloated tummy could be too much holiday eating, and just because AF doesn't come doesn't always mean you are preggos.

Well, I can only move forward. I will find out today what the deal is. I pray for God's grace and blessing.

Salty

This pregnancy I'm craving salty - McDonalds french fries (though I try not to give in to that one very often), sun flower seeds, li hing mui, pickled onions, preserved calamancines....salty, salty, salty. It's amazing how with Kaua I wanted sweet, but with this one, I want salt. Ok now, I'm going to go back to eating my pickled onions.

just past 7 weeks

It seems as if time is going by much quicker this pregnancy. Next monday, I will have an ultrasound which will determine whether this pregnancy is viable or not. While this pregnancy is a lot less anxiety filled compared to my first, i admit that there are brief moments of nerves. Most of the time, I feel completely normal and dont feel pregnant at all. On some occasions, i feel slight nausea. However, over the weekend, I began feeling real nausea. On Sunday, DH and I went to go check out a garage sale at about 10 am and on the drive back down, I felt soooooo sick. It was the most nauscious I've been in a while. Like a really bad hangover and you dont want to make any sudden moves or look anywhere. No throwing up, but definite feelings of gagginess. The other really big symptom I have is fatigue. i feel really tired often, like I dont have energy to do anything but lie around. The fatigue has sort of gotten in the way of our move into our new home, but thankfully, DH is stepping up and taking on the majority of the work. He also let me take a much needed nap on the weekend by taking kaua for a walk and pretty much doing lots of the house work. This fatigue is new to me. I dont remember feeling this tired with kaua.

On the telling people front, I've told two of my close friends about this pregnancy. One b/c she told me about another friend's pregnancy who will also be having their second child and whos due date is very very close to this EDD. Their first child is also 1.5 months younger than Kaua so I felt compelled to tell her due to the similarities and because we are so close. The other friend I told last night while at her birthday dinner at a bar, because I thought she would be astute and figure it out when i asked for that virgin drink. However, when I told her, she thought it was because I was still BFing and wouldn't have been none the wiser if I didn't say anything. The good news is both of these girls know my history, have children of their own, and know what its like to not really want to share the news until you confirm the pregnancy with the doctor.

I'm a little worried about how my Christmas eve will go. We'll be spending it with my side of the family that are drinkers and know me as a drinker, and while i've been able to get away with not drinking on two other occasions, i think they'll figure it out on Christmas eve when its been the 3rd time we've been together and I haven't been drinking. Part of me is thinking I should just fess up and say what I've been saying to my two friends, -- that I missed my period, I could be pregnant, but I dont know yet b/c I haven't gone to the doctors. That's actually the truth.

Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but i do think it'll look pretty weird if I fake drink on Christmas eve, only to announce a week or so later that I'm pregnant. Uh oh, kaua is up....gotta go get him.

Apples!

Thanks for the support about kaua's walking, or lack thereof. He is about 8 days shy of being 13 months old and still no walking. He is able to put pressure on his feet (flat), but is not confident enough in his balance. He'll take tentative steps (on flat feet) while holding onto something, but walking still doesn't seem to be in the very immediate horizon. Still not worried at all about him though and am enjoying this loveable little boy.

Today, he at an apple for the first time. This is his first grown up fruit that he's eaten. You all know that Kaua is a finicky eater. He's definitely a meat and rice kinda boy and its been tough getting him to eat his fruits and veggies. He does eat baby food fruits, so that's primarily how he's been getting those nutrients. I've consistently offered him regular people fruits, of many varieties and he's rejected them all, until today. Today, I was eating an apple and he started to show some interest. When he's interested in food that I'm eating, he'll literally climb into my lap and try to eat the food right out of my hand or off the plate. So when he showed interest in my apple, I broke off a tiny piece and put it in his mouth, fully expecting him to spit it back out like he normally does. But nope, he ate it and wanted more. Eventually, I let him take small bites right off the apple (not the skin parts of course) and he loved it. He kept eating and eating and eating. I've been so envious of others who's kids eat all kinds of healthy foods, but with Kaua it's been a chore, despite the fact that I love healthy foods and ate a lot of it through out my pregnancy. So I'm hoping this new trend of his apple loving sticks and am also hoping that his new openness to this fruit will lead to more. Veggies are still a challenge and I find that I have to hide veggies among his foods and pray he doesn't discover them, but heck, who knows, maybe one day I'll be eating something and he'll come right on up to me and want some and discover he loves it.

Does anyone notice that their child eats more when they are not in their high chair? Recently, Kaua has been much more receptive to food when he sees me or another adult eating and can come up to them and eat off their plate. I think it has something to do with him eating on his own terms and thinking that he's getting the same foods as everyone else, versus baby foods. He really does actually get the same foods as we do when in his high chair, but I dont think he's figured it out. For now, I'm perfectly happy to let him eat off my plate, as long as he eats. Kaua is really into drinking milk, and would be perfectly happy with drinking milk most of the day rather than eating solids if I let him (which of course i dont).

Another newer characteristic of Kaua is he's starting to learn how to throw tantrums. They are not full force, like I'm sure they will be when he's closer to two, but he definitely know how to whine, arch his back, flop down onto the floor and cry when he's not getting his way. And he does this fairly often now. I'm sooooooooooo not looking forward to the terrible twos! I'm trying to find the balance between providing him comfort but not reinforcing this behavior with rewards or my attention. Gosh, parenting is so hard! And to think it only gets harder!

Can you train a walker?

I dont think you can train a kid to walk. but yesterday at a family party, a family member of mine seemed a littel surprised that Kaua wasn't walking. So as she took him around, she tried to get him to walk and noticed that he still walks on his toes. She pointed this out to me and acted as if I need to start training him to walk. Ummmm, I'm not a doctor, but I dont think that's how it works. Granted, you have to give your kid the opportunity to practice standing and walking, which Kaua gets plenty of, trust me, but I dont think you can force a kid to walk by training him to walk. I could be wrong though, so if anyone has heard of success in this department, please share.

According to Kaua's pediatrician, he'll walk when he's ready. She wasn't concerned at all that he's not walking and neither am I. I walked at 15 months and she said she walked at 16 months, and we think we did pretty good for ourselves being a lawyer and a doctor.

Anyone else have later walkers? (which I dont think 12 months - Kaua's age - is a late walker yet).

6 week symptom update

I'm a little over 6 weeks pregnant and have felt like I haven't had much symptoms. I think I've been feeing slight nausea early in the mornings and sometimes in the middle of the night, but nothing to really fret over. If I didn't know I was pregnant, I wouldn't even notice it. So, I decided to peruse over my posts from the same time in my pregnancy with Kaua. Back then, I was feeling nausea, constipation and sore nipples. So far, the bbs are just fine, but I forgot about constipation. I think I'm having a slight case of that too. Nothing super noticeable, but now that I think about it, I didn't have much in the way of toilet production both yesterday and today, despite feeling like I had to go. So I guess I can chalk that up as a pregnancy symptom. I'm not sure if I'm more tired than usual. I feel tired, but what mom of a 1 year old doesn't feel tired? lol...so not sure if that counts.

I've been having a couple strange dreams over the past week. I've already dreamt twice that I had a miscarriage. Once I dreamt that my period came and I wasn't that sad about it because I wasn't quite ready for #2, but last night I dreamt that I had a miscarriage and you could actually see a tiny little baby (gross, I know). I was abit more bummed about that in my dream because as the days pass, the idea of this child is growing on me. So when I woke up, I was glad it was just a dream. I wonder if these dreams are just my subconcious way of expressing my anxiety. I mean, I feel fairly confident that there is going to be a healthy baby in 9 months, but still, I will not feel 100% until we have our first ultrasound and see everything is going smoothly.

I just received a questionnaire packet in the mail from my doctors about this pregnancy. Although I have Kaiser, I have a different clinic since we moved, and I guess they mail out a questionnaire packet for the expectant mom to fill out. It asks bizarre questions like "Do you think you'll have a problem staying off drugs and alcohol during your pregnancy?" or "Have you been raped since your last period?" It's actually kind of sad that such questions need to be asked. I filled them out. And also read some of the info pamphlets they provided. I was reminded that I'm not supposed to eat large tuna fish (what we call ahi) in quantities over 6oz in 1-2 weeks due to the potentially high mercury contamination. Ooopsie, I forgot and had some at a christmas party the other night. Guess we have to cut that out! ugh. No caffeine, no alcohol, no fish...no fun for me during the holidays. lol.

I think I have 16 more days till the ultra sound. While that seems like very long, I know it'll come in no time. I just POAS again, for fun, since the internet cheapie tests I have are expired and will be no good any other pregnancy. The Test line showed up first and was much more darker than the control line. While that doesn't tell me much other than I have a very high HCG count right now, it was reassuring to see. Cant wait to have that first ultrasound appointment!

Doctor's Appt made

Ok, so I made my first doctor's appointment. They dont want to see me until I'm closer to 8 or 9 weeks and according to my LMP, I'm exactly 5 weeks today. So my appointment is for December 27, 2010 at 9:30 a.m. I requested to see the OB one of my hula sisters is seeing. She said he's good, and I like that. So with that said, we wont be able to confirm this pregnancy until then.

I did take another internet cheapie HPT yesterday AM and it was still positive. But I did notice that they expired last month...so you never know. But today was the last day I should have expected my AF and so far she's a no show.

I'm still alternating between excitement about this pregnancy and anxiety. Anxiety more so that I'm not sure if we're ready for round 2. Anxiety that our plans to travel in September are now going be canceled. I cant take a 1 month old child traveling and there's no way we'd leave this baby at home. Ugh.

I'm still counting my blessings and ever thankful to the Lord for this tiny miracle though. It's all meant to happen for a reason.

BFP #2!

here begins my series of posts that I wont post until I'm ready to go public with this news.

Today is Wed. Dec. 1, 2010.

We're pregnant, again!!! I just took a HPT, at about 7:30pm tonite, and the second line was there. Slightly lighter than the control line, but there none-the-less. My immediate reaction was surprise then anxiety then excitement. I briefly contemplated not telling DH right away and trying to save it as a X-mas gift/surprise, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hold this news in for 24 days. So I told him, "want the good news?" or the "not so good news?" He asked for the not so good news, and I told him "that we're going to have another baby." He said, and what's the good news and I told him the same thing. lol. to me, having a baby is both. dont get me wrong, I'm ecstatic and realize that I'm very very very very blessed and want nothing more than to have a 2nd healthy child. But at the same time, I'm terrified. Two kids? I feel like I was just pregnant! I just gave birth! I still have a baby! How can I take care of two! Kaua is handful enough! If i weren't already 31, I would have wanted to wait a bit before having our 2nd because I would have loved to have given Kaua more of our sole attention for longer. But since I'm no spring chicken, and we weren't sure how long it would take us to get pregnant again, we started trying soon.

And by trying, I mean, not really "trying" as in we didn't do what we did before -- the temperature taking thing. Instead, I just counted the days between periods (which I must say I only had 3!!!) and estimated when I ovulated and we tried to BD around this date. I guess it worked!! So techiically, we were trying, but by my standards that wasn't. I didn't even know when my EDD would have been until I plugged in the date of my last period into a calculator. According to that, my EDD is Aug. 5. That is my MIL's birthday and the day before mine! Holy smokes. I cannot believe this is happening so fast!

Of course, I cannot jump the gun. I of all people know how precarious the 1st T is, so we will not be sharing the news until the 2T, or as close to it as we can get w/o someone figuring it out. Which I'm sure someone will. I'm a drinker....people will notice when I'm not.

And here we are to the reasons for me wanting to post...to record my journey, my symptoms, my thoughts. My first inclination that I could be preggo was when, after Kaua's party, I wasn't interested in drinking, like the beer just didn't taste good to me. I remember having that feeling when I was in my early pregnancy for Kaua. My next potential inkling was when on mon. I had a huge huge backache and felt queasy. Like I couldn't finish my lunch, which is unusual for me. I also felt so tired and exhausted at the end of the day, I skipped the gym. I almost thought I was coming down with the flu. Today, Wed., I'm still having slight achiness in my ute, which feel very very similar to period cramps, but again, I remember feeling the same with Kaua. I also am having extra discharge, which i remember with Kaua as well. finally, I couldn't stand the wait anymore (I was planning to test at the end of the week, when I think my period is due) and took a HPT. And yup, we're preggo.

We'll see how the upcoming days enfold, but we're excited, albeit differently than the last time. I want to surprise everyone else by having kaua where the timeless traditional "big brother" t-shirt. I guess if all goes well, I'll call to make a doctor's appointment in the next few weeks. First thing though,i'll go get some prenatal vitamins. For now, my daily vitamins with folate should suffice.

thinking postive and thanking God for our second little miracle!

happy birthday kaua

It's been a while, i admit it. My blogging has slowly decreased as kaua has gotten older. I still do follow a lot of my bloggy buddies, but rarely comment, so just know that I am reading.

kaua turned 1 on Saturday and we had a huge party. it was a ton of fun and a huge success, but boy am i glad that is over! Way too much planning, especially on a holiday weekend. I've decided that from now on, kaua's birthday parties will be held the following weekend, because thanksgiving weekend is just too crazy to have a birthday party. Or at least going to stores.

On that note, my little guy is still not walking, but that's fine by me. he is able to stand on his own, but does so only on the off chance that he doesn't realize he's doing it (like when his hands are full with a toy). He hasn't tried to take his own steps yet and we're not sure when he'll be doing that. I'm not worried and neither is his pediatrician. I didn't walk till I was 15 months and i turned out ok, so we're not concerned about kaua.

We've got the ok to switch him to cow's milk, but since we have a can of formula, we're going to finish that off (most of it) and then start him on milk. I've also got thoughts about weaning him from the bottle, but likely to sippy cups. I know the "books" say to just use cups, but seriously, who has time to clean up after that mess? I also need to start letting Kaua self feed with a spoon or fork, but again, who has time to clean up after that mess? There are so many "book" rules that I'm finding dont have to be strictly adhered to.

Speaking of books, I'm thinking of picking up the WTE the Toddler years. Any comments on it or thoughts? I like having a "book" reference, even if I dont follow it all the time. They do have very useful tips.


We're just about finishing up our home purchasing process. Our estimated closing date is Friday Dec. 10 and we cant wait to get in to our own place!

He understands!

Ok, first off, the HORROR that was going on at night? Well, it was like a miracle....or something, because just about 6 days to 1 week after I started weaning him off the boobie at night, he figured it out! He realized that the bottle can give him the same exact comfort and started taking it, no fuss. Whew, talk about a miracle! So now, kaua is a happy camper, taking the bottle at night as well as day. I'm down to breast feeding just 1x a day, and I can feel that at any day, this can be cut out as well. I'm so proud of myself for weaning him!!

But on to todays news. Kaua is now waving bye bye and hello on command as well as clapping when we say "yay!" or "clap, clap." It is just tooooo cute! His first feat in this respect was the ability to "throw the ball" on command, he started this about a month or so ago and DH and I like to believe it's because he's going to be such a great athlete when he grows up. (yup, mmmhmmmm, we can dream, cant we?)

Kaua also shows sign of recognizing when I say certain words, like "outside" he'll get all lit up and excited and start giggling because he loves outside. When he's fussing and I say, you want a snack, water or bottle/baba he'll temporarily stop whining to indicate that's what he wants (except this last one isn't consistent yet). It would be nice if he could sign these wants, but I dont think we've been doing the signs consistently enough for him to catch on (plus no one else in my family does the signs to him). All of this is so amazing. He is literally growing up in front of my eyes and slowing turning from an infant into a toddler. Super duper cool.

Cant believe he'll be turning 1 in a few short weeks!

AND we're in escrow!!! Why is it that we always end up buying a home when we're planning a large party? We bought our first home when we were getting married, sold it when Kaua was born and now buying our 2nd home when we're having Kaua's 1st birthday luau. Crazy!

Our First Pumpkin Patch

This was our first pumpkin patch experience. Here in small townville, the pumpkin patch isn't anything special, but still we had tons of fun. We went as a family and brought my two nephews ages 6 and 4 along. The boys had sooooo much fun. The pumpkin in Kaua's hand is the pumpkin we picked out to take home. My nephew picked out a small white pumpkin that looks like someone dropped it because half of it is squished in. But that's the one my nephew wanted so that's the one he got. It definitely has character.

In other news, Kaua is going to be ELEVEN months old tomorrow and Gosh, where does the time go? We are in full blast party planning mode here because, in Hawaii, the first year celebration is a big deal. We're having a typical baby lu'au. My family is making the food, kalua pig, lomi salmon, my favorite - luau stew, chicken long rice and possibly poi. My brother is doing the pupus (appetizers) and since I'm a beer drinker, I'm ordering a keg. I've hired a really good (so I've heard) children's magician and am in the midst of hiring a spray on tattoo artist. I gotta get started on the slideshow which will document Kaua's life. I'm also possibly going to dance a hula. The theme is Hawaiian rainforest because Kaua is named after the rain in our old home town. It's going to be fun, but man, party planning is soo not my favorite.

Also new on our radar is house hunting. We have found a great fixer upper in a great neighborhood here and it's a FSBO (for sale by owner) which means the price is great too. It's our first time working without realtors so it is a little unnerving, but I'm confident that we can do it. The seller seems just as wary and both of us our educated so together we'll make it happen. The great thing is he's motivated to sell and he's not into making tons of money, so he's been pretty easy to negotiate with. We may be in escrow by the end of the week and hopefully in our own home in a couple months, but I dont want to jinx it, so enough on that.

And we come to the NIGHTS! Like I've posted before, I'm trying to wean Kaua off the boobie so that he's completely boobie free by 1. I've pretty much got it down to no breastfeeding during the day and only at night. This past week, we've been trying to cutdown at night too and man-oh-man is he soooo not having any of that. He has really come to rely on breastfeeding himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night, and when he isn't able to, he throws a fit. Like full on top of your lung screaming. And he wakes up, A LOT. It's really sucky. Really. I've given him bottles and after the 3rd night of screaming or so, he'll finally take it, and wow, can he drink. The night before last he drank 12 oz at night! last night, I couldn't deal with it. It had been 7 nights in a row of THE HORROR and I gave in and let him nurse. Let me tell you, a whole heck of a lot less screaming and crying, but still, he got up a ton. Ugh, ugh, ugh. i have never been so sleep deprived before. This is way more difficult than when he was a newborn.

Anyways, yup, being a mommy is hard. Hard, hard, hard. But it's all worth it, because that little rugrat. He's priceless.

One of those days....

It's been a while! I didn't even post that Kaua is now 10 months old! I've been so busy with work (drama at work for the first time ever with a bitchy coworker) and house hunting.... Yup, we're finally going to try and get our own place. Even better is in the meantime, we'll be renting my mom's cottage because her tenant is moving out....so yay, our own place! Our own space!! This weekend we can start moving in....well start cleaning the cottage at least....(yah, part of our deal is we have to clean the place ourselves....=( ).

Anyways, I'm writing to complain....but only in a loving motherly kinda way. Kaua is having such a rough day today! He has been super whiny all night and all day, crying for apparently no reason, and not taking the bottle and very finicky with food. It's awful. I'm so not used to this behavior. I mean, I'm used to this behavior but not all night and all day long! Ugh, I've been uber patient, but man oh man, I cannot imagine how mothers deal with colicky babies. I'm pretty sure the culprit is Kaua is growing in yet another tooth (well about to grow in). This will be his 7th tooth and the 3rd top tooth. It's just pushing on the gums now, and hasn't broken through yet. Kaua's extra drooly too. but everytime I try to massage his gums or give him a chew toy, he's not interested. So I just grin and bear it and cuddle him and sing to him and go through my check list of making sure he's not hungry, thirsty, wanting milk, wet, or bored. Many a time he'll want to nurse, but since I'm on a mission to wean him by one, I'm not letting myself nurse him during the day (except once in the morning and at nights). So of course, i withhold the breast and he wont have any of the bottle. It was a battle of wills just to get him to drink his morning bottle (which he didn't take until lunch!!) because he was so set on nursing and I am so set on not letting him. Boy was it tough. but I'm working on keeping my resolve on certain things because I dont want him thinking he can just throw fits and get his way, and on this issue, it's best if I dont give in, or it'll send him mixed signals. I dont even know if nursing him in the morning and at night adds to the confusion, but this is the way I've been doing it for a few weeks now and it's been working so far (but then again, I'm usually at work during the day, so he has no choice but to take the bottle).

Speaking of, today is thursday and I'm not at work today. My niece has the flu and my grandma watches her along with Kaua and I dont want to expose Kaua to the flu, so I'm staying home so that I can watch him. It's really nice to have this flexibility with my work schedule.

Kaua just went down for his second nap, after freaking out and me having to sing and rock him to sleep (ugh), and whew, it's time for some R&R for me!

bad sleep habits

Ok confession time. Kaua has bad sleep habits. He falls asleep nursing on most occassions. On the occassion he doesn't fall asleep nursing, it's rocking and singing to sleep or lulled to sleep while in his carseat when we're on our drive home. What has this resulted in? Well, he cant really fall asleep on his own. We cant just put him in his crib awake when he's tired because he wont fall asleep. He'll play, scream, throw a tantrum and cry, for ever. This also means that when he wakes up at night (apparently all humans wake up through out the night in sleep cycles, but we dont realize we do because we're able to get ourselves back to sleep), he needs his "crutch." This also means that he gets up about 4 times at night (at least) and I have to nurse him back to sleep if I want to get any sleep myself. Did I also mention that he sleeps in our bed after his first or second waking at night because if we put him back in his crib, he'll wake up even more?

Yup, talk about not your ideal sleep situation. So why dont I correct this? Well first of all, I've tried. Nothing works. I know my problem though. We dont have a bedtime routine. My schedule is crazy. I'm not always there when its his bedtime. So he's put to sleep by someone else sometimes. Second, we dont have our own home. So we're not always at the same place when its his bedtime. We're either at my mom's house or my grandma's house or driving home. Third, at each of these houses, we're sharing it with my family, so any cry it out session results in keeping the entire house awake and/or in distress. And let me tell you, my Mom's BF is not so happy when Kaua is up all night crying because he's a light sleeper himself.

So with all of these problems, it's caused me to resort to doing whatever it takes, just to survive. It's also led to Kaua's horrible sleep habits. OH man, what am I to do? Will I be stuck with a toddler who needs to sleep in our bed? I'm planning to have Kaua stop breast feeding at 1 and have been trying to cut down on his day feedings as of now, so that he'll be completely breast free by 1. Will I have to continue breast feeding past 1, especially at night, in order to get him sleeping and keep him sleeping?

sigh.

He Eats!

Within the past few days the eating situation with Kaua has totally changed. He now eats without world war III breaking out between him and me. It's probably a combination of me figuring out what foods he likes and him actually wanting more food. He still generally only likes big people food and will occasionally let me slip in some baby food if its fruits or veggies. He does not like baby foods with the meats in it. I'm starting to be able to recognize when he wants more food. The other day, I gave him pastele and gandule rice and he couldn't get enough of it. He also has now figured out when I'm eating and will come up to me at any time of the day to get a bite of whatever it is I'm eating. It's nice to see him eat, but at the same time, he seems to always want to be eating. I've found that instead of shoving food in his face, I have to hide food when I'm eating it because he'll want to eat even after he's already had a meal!

The other cool thing Kaua does, which he just started today, but we've been working on getting him to do for a while --- he waves bye-bye!! =)

9 months update

This post is a week or so late in coming but Kaua is 9 months old now! He weighs approximately 21 pounds and is 29 inches long. He's 75th percentile for height and 50th for weight. This has been the trend for the past two visits now, so he's been staying pretty constant.

This past pedi appointment, there were no vaccinations...you're thinking yay, no needles?! Yeah right!!! He had to get a TB skin test, which wasn't so bad AND a blood draw. Again, if it had been just a needle, it wouldn't have been so bad, but the nurse wasn't able to locate a vein in the usual spot in his arms, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo she had to nick his finger tip and DRAIN THE BLOOD MANUALLY (think: squeeze his finger/hand so that blood dripped down and out) and fill TWO VIALS! OMG!!! Talk about traumatic (for me mostly, not him). He was a trooper for the nick in the finger and for a little bit of the blood dripping, but she had to squeeze his finger and hand for at least 1-2 minutes to get enough blood to fill the vials and boy oh boy the poor baby was screaming and trying to yank his hand away. I normally sing to him to keep him distracted and I clearly remember going through several stanzas of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Old MacDonald Had A Farm before she was through. It took sheer will power to keep my voice steady and not break out into tears. And I had to go through this all on my own, DH was at work for this appointment (Had I Known It was going to be BLOOD LETTING, I would have made sure he was off). But anyways, moving on.

The little goober is sure getting an attitude. He will definitely let me know what he wants and doesn't want and is starting to see if throwing a fit will help achieve his goal. These fits include tears, screaming, back arching and general difficultness. I've decided that when he gets like this (for no reason, b/c sometimes he does have a legitimate need), I simply put him down on the floor and let him continue on throwing a fit. I'm trying to find the happy medium between meeting his needs and letting him know that this type of behavior is not acceptable and not the proper way to get what he wants. Of course, he is JUST nine months old, so I'm not sure how much of my explanations are getting through to him, but I console myself by thinking that "at least I'm trying and one day he will understand what I'm saying."

On the tooth front, he's got 1 tooth on top and a 4TH tooth coming in on the bottom (5 toots total now). =) He still dislikes most baby foods and is still a finicky solid foods eater. He likes yogurt, crackers, noodles, bread and rice with gravy/sauce on it. We try to sneak in baby foods filled with veggies and fruits into these starches so that he gets the nutrients that his body needs to grow. But feeding time is still a challenge.

ON the mobility front, he's still army crawling, though we have seen him crawl on his hands and knees. He just seems to prefer his old faithful method of traveling. He can pull up well and has been starting to cruise, but still cant get himself back down without plopping down. He hasn't stood on his own (without support of furniture or a person) yet. He can clap and we're working on teaching him bye-bye. He likes to copy certain sounds we make, one of the most funniest being the sound "ah" one would say after eating or drinking. Super funny.

It's been a while since I've posted a picture of the goober boy, so here are a couple.

discontentment?

or the travel bug?

Dont get me wrong, I love being a mommy and the trade offs are WELL worth it. But I have a feeling of discontentment, or actually the case of the travel bug. Each year that the hubsters and I have been together, we've taken a big trip somewhere to the mainland or out of the country. This year, 2010, will be the first year in our almost 6 years together (almost 3 of them married) that we dont take a trip (assuming we dont travel sometime towards the end of the year, which is likely b/c we haven't planned one).

I really want to travel and we've had a few temptations to take one this year, but each time we really get down to planning the trip, we realize that traveling with an infant will be tough, difficult, and down right, potentially, not worth it. For instance, here in Hawaii, a trip to las vegas is almost an annualthing, especially for the older generation b/c prices and packages from here to vegas are soooo low. In fact, Vegas has been commonly referred to as the "9th island" here in Hawaii. DH and I though about going there instead of having a huge birthday party for Kaua, but then I realized, that with Kaua, we wouldn't be able to do much of the activites that attracts us to Vegas; like go in a casino, drink (very much), or watch shows.

We thought about going somewhere to watch a professional foot ball game (another one of our many wishlist items of things to do in our life which has yet to be crossed off), but then we realized, we couldn't really focus on and enjoy the game with an infant. Plus Kaua probably would freak out with all that noise and people around. Other fans would think we're crazy for bringing an infant to a game.

We could opt for a babysitter duriing one of these trips (I wouldn't dream of leaving Kaua alone here in Hawaii by himself), but truthfully, I'd feel awful leaving him with someone he wasn't comfortable with. My mom has offered her baby sitting services if we paid for her airfare, and while this seems like an expensive alternative, it may be the only alternative. But who wants to go on their first family trip with their mom in tow? Some thoughts on that are, maybe she could come for part of the trip? Offering her babysitting services so we can do the adult things we'd like, and then leaving us alone for the chance at some alone family time. As I type my thoughts out, this seems like the smart way to go....Another idea is simply take a very kid friendly trip...but where to go? What to do?

The point of this post is, while I yearned and yearned and yearned to be a mom, I now realize why people who are parents warn others to take their trips and spend time alone as a married couple, because once a child comes around, things are very different. Parenthood is really a sacrifice of self and as someone who has been living with numero uno in mind first (and my DH first as well), its been quite a sobering adjustment to now put myself second. But as I said in the beginning....this little guy is worth it!

Where would you go for a infant/young family vacation?

end of an era?

I dont know if its because AF showed, or if it was because it is time, or if its all in my head, but my milk supply seems to be decreasing dramatically. My bbs feel less full (read that as empty) and I dont feel the let down happening very often, Kaua pulls off and on frequently (which actually isn't anything new) and I dont see much milk in his mouth when he pulls off, and I wonder if he's getting enough milk. I've done some brief research (namely on kellymom.com) and it appears that the concensus is that I'm still making milk and my bbs have just learned how to make just enough, hence the lack of full feeling, and that my body will make milk as long as milk continues to be drained out of my bbs, but still, I am just not certain that he's getting enough milk from me only. He's really thin and this could be because he's super active and generally food, or because he's not getting enough of his nutrients from his main food supply (breastmilk).

Over the last day or so, I've been following up with some of his "questionable" nursing times with 2oz. of milk and he generally will drink maybe about 1 more oz of milk. IBecause of this it's just so easy for me to simply stop nursing and offer him the bottle instead. I feel reluctant to do this for several reasons, one of them simply because I know how expensive formula feeding only can be. However, I have been long "over" nursing and cannot wait to have him be independent of me for milk. Kaua will be 9 months old tomorrow, and nursing him for 9 months is awesome in my book. I'd love to finally have my body fully returned to me, no longer having to watch how much I drink or have my bbs pulled, pinched, bitten, grabbed, etc. However, breast feeding was easy, and takes less planning in terms of travel (unless I need to have the pump handy) and obviously less expensive.

Just now, instead of offering Kaua to nurse from me, I've just given him a bottle. He didn't drink very much of it, which means I could simply nurse him instead, if I wanted to keep the nursing up. Or I could just stick with giving him the bottle, and nurse him only during nap times and at night (which I never knew was possible, but it is...partial nursing). I'm at the edge of a cliff, I'm at a fork in the road, uncertain which path to travel.....wean him or keep nursing?

Guess who just showed up....

AF!

And I'm still BFing! Kaua is almost 9 months old (in about 1 more week). She has just showed, not a full on flow, only spotting. I've been feeling crampy off and on for about a month now and have been wondering if she was going to show....guess she's hereeeeeeee! I'm not sure how I feel about this....mostly excited at the prospect of potentially being fertile again, somewhat nostolgic at the loss of being period free, somewhat nervous at thoughts of going through a MC (though mostly I'm pushing that out of my head and thinking positive), and thoughts of...am I ready to be pregnant again???? Yikes! I dunno. It might be too early to have another kid...we dont even have our own place yet....I haven't even nailed down a job yet....

Well i admit, I am getting a little ahead of myself. I have a feeling pregnancy wont come until we start TTC again, which i dont think we'll be doing until we're more settled, but I must be honest and admit that I wouldn't be upset if I had a surprise BFP.....

4 toots!

On Friday, August 19, 2010, I discovered that Kaua has another tooth growing in! His first top tooth on the right side (left if you're looking at him) is growing in! Now he has 3 teeth on the bottom and 1 tooth poking through on the top.

He also has been able to pull himself to standing, especially in his crib! He accomplished this feet about a week ago. He cannot stand well by himself yet, but he gets brave and thinks he's a big boy and tries to move quickly while standing. He has absolutely no concept of falling yet. He'll crawl and go for broke on the edges of sofas, beds, anything high. He has always had a watchful eye on him, so he doesn't realize that he could fall and get hurt.

He still is very finicky with foods and usually prefers people foods over baby foods. But even then, he seems to only like crackers, rice and noodles, and this is on the lucky occasion (usually just once a day) when he is receptive to food. I still offer it to him 3 times a day, and usually more, but he usually refuses food. I swear, that boy is going to live on air. He is super active and loves to be on the move and exploring so he's a thin baby, but I'm thinking still on the taller side. Our next pediatrician appointment is in a week or so, so we'll find out his height and weight measurements then.

Over the weekend we went to a Vegas themed baby shower party which had a jumping castle and kaua went inside with his Grandma. This was his first bouncer experience and he really enjoyed it. I'm thinking we need to get one for his first birthday party. I heard that buying one is cheaper than renting one because if we use it three or more times, we'll have spent the cost of purchasing one in the rental fees.

Last Thursday, kaua also went to his first preschool for two hours. This is a traveling preschool that is designed to encourage literacy and promotes Hawaiian cultural values. He was one of the youngest kids there, the preschool being primarily geared for toddlers, but I think it was a good experience. There are several play stations for the kids with painting, building blocks, coloring, reading, an infant corner and all kinds of fun things. We do circle time where the kids sing and the teachers read a book. There are snacks, and once a month the preschool goes on a field trip. This month (next week) we're going to the aquarium. This will be Kaua's first trip to the aquarium, so I'm excited to see how he'll react. The best thing is, this is all free! (funded by a federal grant). I'm hoping to take Kaua for as long as I'm free or hopefully daddy will get in on it and go whenever I cant.

I've also possibly landed a job which may work with my desire to be a part time stay at home mom and it hopefully will also pay me well and is in my desired profession. I meet with my potential employer at the end of the week to hash out details, so I'll find out more then. This excites DH and I because if I get this job, we may be able to afford to buy our next new home!! We're also hoping to have travel plans towards the latter part of this year or early next year, but are tentative on this b/c we still want to have a big 1st birthday party for Kaua and want to buy a home. It seems as if things are falling together.....all thanks to the Lord!

The Way He Looks At Me

I wrote this post on august 10 but am only getting a chance to post it now:

I just had to record these moments. Last night as I was playing with Kaua, I realized (and actually reveled in) the fact that Kaua loves and adores me so much. His face just lights up everytime I see him after being away from him. Usually, he whines for me if I dont come to him after he has seen me or heard me, but when I go straight to him and tell him hello and give him some love and attention, he just glows. He gives me the hugest goofiest smiles, laughs contagiously and is genuinely super excited to see me. (Think of how a puppy gets when he sees his master). And when I continue to shower him with love, attention and affection, that boy shines. He'll keep on playing, but every now and then, he'll look up at me to make sure he has my attention and smiles everytime I look at him, no matter what. He loves when we play together, you can just tell he basks in my affection. It's truly an amazing feeling, to be this little man's whole world. It makes you feel good inside, feel protective, feel like you just want to do everything to continue being this little man's whole world. So as we played together last night, I really paid attention to him and just enjoyed being in his company without the distraction of conversations with other people or watching the television or thinking of other things like house work. I thought, I could not imagine having another child, because how could I divide my attention and love between two? Obviously, since I have never been in such a situation, I cannot conceive of the idea, just as before I had Kaua, I had no idea what being a parent to him would be like. But I'm sure I'll find space in my heart for two children. (No, I'm not pregnant, haven't even seen AF yet and I'm guessing I wont until I stop BFing). It's amazing to be "a mommy" and I am reminded again at how blessed I am and am ever so grateful to have this opportunity.

Kaua is 8.5 months old now. He has three teeth which are all on the bottom and still just growing in. He crawls fairly well, but still not quite on his knees, more of an army crawl. He loves to be pulled to a standing position but cannot pull himself to standing position yet. He can get from sitting to crawling, but hasn't mastered getting from crawling position back to sitting. I've seen him get in the position on his own a couple times, but not how he's done it (like he'll be sitting up in his crib when I get him). He prefers people food over baby food (I'm guessing its the texture of baby food he doesn't care for), so he eats a lot of cereal (cheerios), rice, long rice, noodles, crackers and bread with baby food mixed in. I need to get him that mesh bag so we can put fruits and veggies in it. He can feed himself crackers and cereal but has not developed his pincer grasp, so watching him actually get the food into his mouth, which is hit or miss, is quite hilarious. I keep reminding myself to record this so as not to forget it. He says mama and dada but you can tell he doesn't know that it refers to us, and he defintely does not say it on command. I just tried to start teaching him to wave hi and bye last night and he didn't get it, but you can tell that he's a little more interested in doing what I'm doing, so I'm sure he'll get the hang of it in a month or two. He had another cold recently so his nose is running and as most kids do, he hates when I wipe his nose. He still nurses to sleep and gets up to nurse 2 or 3 times a night. He still sleeps with us in bed, although he does start out in his crib, but then I bring him to our bed when he gets up for the first feeding, because I'm too lazy to sit up and nurse or bring him back to his crib when he's done (usually because I fall asleep when he nurses too). He's still an early riser (between 6am and 7am), but on the occasionaly day, he'll sleep till after 7am. Kaua loves girls and will tend to like certain girls over others, not sure why (but usually he'll love the girls who are good with kids). Kaua laughs and plays often and still loves to bang on things with toys, crinkle paper and generally do anything that makes noise. He still doesn't appear to have any interest in t.v. when I put on pbs kids shows for him. He has certain areas where he knows are off limits in the house (like under a side table where there are electrical cords/outlets) and he always tries to crawl there first! (Baby proofing!!) He is clearly bigger for his age, more so in height than weight. His next pediatrician appointment is at the end of this month. We start a traveling preschool next week (2x a week, two hours each time) and I'm excited to see what's in store for him there.

8 month old

I've got an 8 month old son today!! Wow how time flies! Gonna do a quickie post just to update:

What's new on the 8 month old agenda? well we've got an army crawler (not really new), we've got a major 'opihi (he whines whenever mommy is out of sight) (I'm chalking this up to me being a stay at home mom, so he's not used to being apart from me), we've got a child who loves to eat finger foods more than baby food, but is still really finicky with most foods, he likes breads, cheerios, rice and rice noodles, he hates cheese (threw up both times I offered it to him), he is picky with which strangers he'll go too, he appears to like some more than others and usually only girls, he wears clothing that is made for 12 month olds or older, he weighs 20 pounds, loves to make noises by banging things together or crackling paper or plastic bags, loves to be put in a standing position and bouncing (we chalk this up to his bouncer), loves to be in water but has recently started to dislike baths, still sleeps with us in bed for most of the night which is driving us/me crazy (I really need to figure out how to ween him from this bad habit, or actually how to ween myself from this bad habit), still breastfeeding him, but am supplementing with formula at least 1x a day b/c my milk supply does not seem adequate for him, he is a distracted nurser and will stop and relatch himself fairly frequently during nursing sessions, he still needs to nurse to fall asleep (but I'm working on phasing this out without a pacifier, which he still wont accept), he literally SCREAMS in a very high pitch whenever he is unhappy and even sometimes when he is happy, we've switched from his infant carseat stroller to the fancy schmancy umbrella stroller (He loves being upright more), he is more handsome than ever, and the best thing in both my and DH life (hands down).

i start a new temp. job tomorrow for 3-4 weeks. Good company, decent pay, easy/mundane job, am hoping this leads to a new career and/or a permanent future job. Dh and I are hoping to move out and are looking for a place to rent.

two teets and an army crawler

Kaua now has two teeth (two teets, which is what I've been calling them) poking through! His bottom two teeth are coming in. Still not big enough to really see when he smiles, but when they are, I'm posting a picture of his new "toothy" grin. (If I can find my camera that is! Ugh!!)

He is also now a fairly efficient army crawler. I think that crawling really is coming around the corner. I better get ready, because when I put him down, he wont stay put for long. For instance, I usully put him down when I'm in the kitchen, and when I turned my back on him, he started crawling towards an outlet socket. That really made me realize that baby proofing is definitely in store. Yikes, I haven't read up on these things and really need to get prepared!

Gummy bear no more!

So yesterday, my little guy did this:

He stood up on his own. He's still not crawling (but trying really hard to army crawl!), but he's very very into standing up. So sometimes, I'll prop him up on the couch so he can watch the "action" in the kitchen. He's been feeling really sturdy lately, so I decided to let him go and he was able to balance himself standing up for a short time. I made DH run to get the camera to capture the moment. (Of course I'm there to catch him should he fall, hence my hand in the picture.)

And TODAY, my little gummy bear is no longer.......his first tooth is just barely poking through! I've been feeling his gums for what seems like months now, expecting a tooth and nothing. I was beginning to think he'd be a gummy bear for life. But nope, this morning, I discovered a change in his gums. We've got a little tooth! You can barely see it (when you get a very short lived glimpse into Kaua's mouth), but it's coming! I'm excited, but at the same time nostolgic. This is the end of an era. I wonder if his whole life will be like this....excited that he's making it to the next milestone, but nostoligc that my little boy is growing up. I'm a little surprised he's toothing. He didn't seem more fussy than normal, but then again, when I think about it, he has been a little whiny lately. I had just chalked it up to him becoming more needy of me. Maybe it was the tooth?

Summer is going well. We're having TONS of fun doing outdoor activities. Going to the beach or the pool on a weekly basis at least. Lotsa travel plans too. We already did one short trip and are doing two more over the next month interisland. Still on the job hunt, but am not letting that damper our fun!

And now for more cutie patootie photos:

Finger foods

So remember my last post when I was all.....we made progress in the eating baby food department? Yeah, not so much. Kaua has been antifood again. bleh! What is up with this boy? He is more fickle about food than an anorexic teen! So today, I tried just giving him finger foods during his "meals." Breakfast was soft whole wheat bread and a couple slices of strawberries. Man did he enjoy that! Enjoy playing with it I mean. He took that bread and smooshed it all over the place. Perhaps a crumb or two may have made it into his mouth and got swallowed, but that was it. He did get a teeny slice of strawberry down too, and let me tell you, the shiver he gave afterward (likely due to the tartness) was cute. Lunch? pssh...the ever so easy to clean pasghetti and tomato sauce (dont think we've graduated to the meatballs yet) and two small slices of pineapple. Boy that was a blast with Kaua too.....did anything make it to his mouth? Not quite, but it was a lot of fun to watch him try to get the noodle all covered in sauce to his mouth. I swear, he must have gotten sauce everywhere but in his mouth. Still trying to figure out what to give him for dinner. Thinking of avocados, cheese and/or softened veggies.

I figure, if he's not going to eat baby food, maybe he's ready for finger foods. I got this brilliant idea when I was eating breakfast and he kept reaching for my bagel and keeping his jaw clamped shut like steel when I tried to give him his pureed peaches, bananas and oatmeal. We'll see if we make any solids food progress with the finger foods diet. Maybe if I can make eating food "fun" he'll be more receptive to anything other than breast milk. And the adventures in foods continues.

7 months!

Wow, I just wrote a super long post and lost it. =(

The abbreviated version: Kaua is 7 months old! We took him to the beach on this day and he enjoyed playing in the tide pools.

Kaua is starting to eat his solids more. Not quite the amounts I would prefer, because one website said I should increase his solids intake to 1/4 to 1/2 cup per day (I'm lucky of I get him to eat 1/2-1 jar per day if that), but at least its not torture for him to eat. We can pretty much get him to open his mouth for the 1st bite, and maybe the next 2 or 3, but that's about it. He eats about 1/3 of a jar per feeding, so just about 1 jar of food per day. We do mix his foods up though, varying it between fruits, vegetables and a meat mixture. He seems to enjoy these mixtures, like sweet potato and turkey, or mixed vegetables, or banana peach and granola. And because he doesn't like his rice cereal as much, i try to mix in a little in his bottle, just to make sure he gets those nutrients as well. And speaking of bottles, I typically supplement his diet with 1 bottle of formula a day. I still have a decent supply of breast milk, but there are times when he just wants a little more, so rather than waste a whole bottle of breast milk, I simply give him 2 oz. of formula. It's good because I am really considering weaning him from me, and I want him to be uber comfortable to the bottle and formula. I still dont know how I'm going to wean him off nursing in order to fall asleep though. He's really content with sucking himself to sleep, and no matter how often I give him the pacifier, he just spits it out and cries until I give him my breast. Ugh! I'm just praying that like with everything, he'll just figure it out on his own....

Still no teeth yet, though he did wake up screaming a ton of times last night which got me to researching on Dr. Google, and most of the concensus is that he is either teething or has an earache. I dont think he has the ear ache, but I'll monitor him just the same.

He' getting more and more coordinated in his reaching for things, figuring things out and movements, but still no crawling. It's amazing to see him grow and mature! Super excited to see him as a little boy, but trying to cherish every moment when he is this young and cuddly. His smiles sure do light up a room though!

He is also becoming a big opihi. always looking for me, wanting to be in my line of sight, and crying for me to hold him when I'm around. I think he's getting to used to me staying home and being around. And speaking of, I've got two job leads, but they both would be a career change for me and a big decrease in pay. DH says I should take one of them (if I'm offered the positions, still just interviewing), because he thinks I'll be happier, but I'm not so sure that I'm ready for a career change. I have been advised that I could always try one of them out, and if I dont like it go back to my old career...and perhaps I'll do just that. I just hate to leave my employer in a bind by letting them hire me, invest their time in me, only for me to quit shortly thereafter. I would, however, on principle, try to stick it out for a minimum time period as well as let them have time to find my replacement....hmmm, decisions, decisions.

Check out this cutie patootie picture of Kaua wearing a Lakers hat!

Adventures in Feeding

Feeding Kaua solids. So, I blogged about this...how I started feeding Kaua solids when he was 5 months old, and he seemed to take to it pretty fine. He maybe got a little constipation from rice cereal, but nothing serious. But over the past few days, maybe a couple of weeks, his interest in foods have gone down. Way down. He no longer wants to eat baby food, no matter what kind of food it is. At first, I wasn't too concerned about it, till that darn pedi told me that I should try withholding the breast milk until after he eats because he was dictating his feedings to me, instead of the other way around. So i felt guilty and started trying it. She said i was to get in 2-3 meals a day. And let me tell you how UNSUCCESSFUL that was. I tried it for maybe 2 days and it was like war. I'd put Kaua in the high chair and he'd just scream and cry and refuse to eat. No matter what kind of food was in front of him. So, I gave up. I gave in and let him drink milk. Then I remembered that somewhere, I read that sometimes, babies are starving and want the instant satisfaction of milk, and to try to feed them solids about .5 to 1 hour after feeding them milk. So I tried that, and voila, he eats! Granted he's still not a huge eater, and is MUCH more interested in playing than eating (I'm happy if I can get 2 spoonfuls into his mouth), but hey, it's MUCH better than going to war and making the high chair a chair of torture as it had slowly become. I know I've got a lot more to go, but 1 step in the right direction. I've been reading a lot about BLW (baby led weaning) and am thinking of starting Kaua on a semi version of it. Some baby foods (who am I kidding, tons of baby foods) and some finger foods, for him to get the hang of feeding himself. We've started him on baby rice crackers which he doesn't really understand is actual food, he just enjoys sticking it in his mouth and kinda gets surprised when it breaks off and stays in his mouth. lol.

Anyone have any advice on the getting your baby into solids department?

Father's Day and a funny memory

Today was DH's first fathers day. We celebrated by heading to the beach and BBQing with friends and family. A great way to spend the day. For father's day DH got matching t-shirts with Kaua, sooo super cute! He also got a photo frame of the best picture of he and our son together and one of those clay hand mold thingies with Kaua's left hand print. Soooo super adorable, I might add! Let me tell you, getting a 6.5 month old to sit still so that you can make a hand print of him in clay is really hard. Luckily, I got it done on my SECOND try! After the first one was an uber failure (b/c all Kaua wants to do is grab things), i realized that it was time to use "the secret weapon." What is the secret weapon you might ask? --- BOOBIES! Oh yeah, I buss those bad boys out whenever I need to put Kaua to bed, or get him to calm down after his vaccinations, etc. So, in this case, I nursed that boy to keep him sitting still and while he was nursing, I pushed his hand into the clay.....I nursed him on my left boob, so hence I got his left hand print. lol.

So anyways, on our drive home from the beach, I asked DH how he felt on his first father's day, and surpringly (or maybe not), he said he felt pretty mellow. He enjoyed himself, but I dont think he was as excited or had those warm fuzzy feelings like how I did on mother's day. He said he thinks he'll feel more excited when Kaua is older and he can wish him happy father's day in person. Interesting how men and women are so different! I really felt the impact of mother's day this year, but I dont think DH felt it as much on father's day. I think it probably has a lot to do with my own personal battles with having mc's. Even though we both went through them, being that I had to personally experience them (and feel somewhat like a failure at doing something that should have come naturally to my body) I put a lot of expectations and pressure on myself to become a mom. Additionally, DH is a lot more of a mellow person than I am, so he doesn't get as emotional as I do. Anyways, DH enjoyed himself today and that's all that counts. Of course and so did kaua. He really enjoyed the beach and the water!

Ok and now for the funny memory: I was reading blogs from fellow bloggy friends and read a blog about a new mommy going through those first few weeks after birth when everything is pretty hectic and she was describing her middle of the night feedings and walking around the house topless half the time..... it reminded me of those times when I'd be doing a middle of the night feeding in bed, sitting up and holding Kaua, and I'd fall asleep holding him while he was nursing and then I'd wake up, somehow still miraculously holding him but with my boob hanging out and him sleeping peacefully in my arms. I always thought what I must look like to someone who just walks into the room - a half naked lady, with a boob hanging out, fast asleep sitting up in bed with a baby sleeping in her arms. lol. Total newborn mommy!

Still No Job, but Feeling Ok and update on my 6 month old

Well, it's been about two weeks. Today is the last day of my job. But surprisingly, I'm looking forward to it. Once I was told that I'm not going to be working here, I got my butt in gear and started looking for jobs and am in the mindset of change. I have not had any luck on the new job front yet, but I'm trying. I am excited to be gone from this place and open to new possibilities in the job market -- maybe a change in professions? Not quite sure. I'm just excited for a change.

We've got some fun trips and family activities scheduled for the next month or two, so I'm also looking forward to those. They include a trip back to our old island, a family reunion, camping, a surprise birthday party, a couple baby parties, and just general summer fun.

And the newest idea between DH and myself -- skip the big traditional baby lu'au when Kaua turns 1 year old and splurge upon a family vacation instead. Kaua wont be old enough to enjoy the birthday party, so why spend so much money on it when we could go on a trip? We'd much rather travel and spend money on a party that Kaua will remember later on down the road...something to think about....

What's new on the Kaua-front: we had our 6 month pediatrician appt yesterday. He is now 18.5 lbs - 50% in weight, 27 inches - 75% in height and 75% in head circumference. Guess he's thinning out. I also got strict instructions by the doc to get him on a 2-3 solids-meal a day schedule after I indicated that there were some times when Kaua seemed very uninterested in baby food and thus he would be eating only 1 meal a day of solids (still going strong on the breast milk). She also finally gave us antibiotics to hopefully combat this cough that he's had for 2 months. I think its working because his coughing decreased last night after just one day of antibiotics.

Kaua also now has an attitude! At first, I thought he was just being extra fussy b/c he was teething (which he is NOT, there are still no teeth in sight), but nope, he just now knows how to express his desires and when he's not happy, he'll let us know with a scream or two or three. He's also what I call "very grabby". He'll grab for just about anything in his reach...and of course, not for his baby toys, but all the "cool" stuff like remote controls, or my hair or jewelry (which I dont wear anymore), or the table cloth, or the book or newspaper etc. He also really really really likes the sound of crinkling paper or banging things on each other. He's definitely a sound man. Not super interested in tv or sitting still for very long. He also gets super frustrated because he cannot crawl yet. He'll try to reach for things while on his tummy, but if he cant get to it, he'll fuss. He prefers sitting up, but doesn't know how to get himself to that position on his own yet, so he'll fuss when lying down. He loves his walker and jumper and clearly prefers to be mobile. He's definitely developing a personality and its turning out to be much like his fathers...grouchy. (lol - kidding - they actually say its my personality..but I dont think I'm grouchy at all!)

i need a job

it's official. yesterday, i was told at work that my firm cannot afford to keep me. My last day will be next friday, june 18. I'm sad and happy at the same time. Sad b/c it's a loss of an income (though meager it was since I was only working part time), but happy because I knew this wasn't the firm for me. I needed to work with a firm with more resources. The partners weren't impressive and I want to work in an environment where I dont feel as if I may know more than the partners. I want to be challenged. So good news is, I am being pushed to find a firm that fits with me. Sad news, I'll probably have to work full time. It's hard to find a part time job in my profession...if you all haven't guessed what I do by now....other sad news...I just signed Kaua and I up to attend a traveling preschool, which will begin in August. We would be attending Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 8:30 to 10:30am. I was hoping to meet other mommies and connec there, because I haven't had very much luck making new friends here, especially friends who are new mommies like me. I so want to have play dates and was hoping the preschool would be the way to do it. I've tried signing up online to find other new mommies, but no such luck. This town is just too small, so there's not much websites or activity online for new mommies.

If I'm working full time, I may not have time for that...but heck who knows, maybe I can arrange my schedule around it. I guess first things first, I need to actually get hired somewhere. I've sent out three resumes to three of the biggest firms here. I'm planning to send out at least 1 more, hopefully more. The job market here is tight since we're in a smaller town...but I'm thinking positive and praying and speaking to "that mountain".

The good news is we live almost for free right now since we're living with my mom, so we can afford to go back on just one income for now. Obviously, our house hunting plans will have to be on hold, but if there's anytime to not have a job, it's now, while we live for free. And the best news of all...I'll be staying at home with kaua again. SAHM-ville, here I come!

Now...what in the heck should I get DH for his first father's day!??

6 mos old, sitting up, & the ocean

Kaua turned six months old on Thursday, May 27. Can you believe it? He is half a year old, and half way to turning 1 year old. OMG, I have so much planning to do for his birthday party!!

But the coolest news is 3 days later, on May 30, he sat up on his own for the first time! Well, we had been working on it for about 1 week now. He'd sit up, but only for a few seconds at a time before toppling over. But on that day, I sat him up and stood behind him to catch him, and he didn't fall...well, not for very long. I told DH to come help me watch him while I grabbed the camera and video camera and recorded away. He lasted about 20 something seconds before listing to the side! That's awesome!

I know that crawling is just a few days if not a couple weeks away now. He is already pulling himself around while on his tummy, sort of inching his way towards something, and he sure knows how to roll himself around. You can set him down somewhere, and he sure as heck will not be in that spot in a few minutes. He's so much more exploratory -- always wanting to look around and touch things. Whenever I carry him, my necklaces, earrings, and hair are fair game, so of course, I've been sans jewlery and putting my hair up. He's becoming stranger fearful, but will warm up to strangers if we sit and talk for a while.

And two days ago, on June 1, we took him to the beach where he took his first dip in the ocean! We have taken him to the beach before, but the water/weathe wasn't always the greatest, but now that its summer, it's beach city! He was reluctant at first, you could tell he was unfamiliar with the sensation of being surrounded by water (I dont give him baths, just showers), and the temperature of the water was new (he's only been in warm water), but eventually, after he realized he could splash with his hands he loosened up a little. I dont think I'd call him overly joyed and laughing, but he definitely tolerated it for a while. I had my flip video camera to capture the moment, but of course, i ran out of batteries, just as soon as we get him into the water. But, I did have my regular camera and captured some of those kodak moments for you to see.
On the job front, unfortunately, my firm cannot afford me. Thus, I'm now in a hunt for a new job while this firm figures out its finances (regardless whether they could afford me, I'd been thinking of looking for a new job anyways). But sadly, that puts our house hunt on hold and hence more living with my mom and squished together in 1 room. =( DH and I really miss our old home with all that room and privacy!

I'm still here!

Hello bloggy buddies.

It's been a while since my last post (a little over 1 week). Just been plowing along with life.

Kaua has had a cold for over 4 weeks now! We took him to the doctors when he first had the cold (April 28) and again on Tuesday (May 18) and basically we've been told that its not serious, there's nothing we can really give him to help it pass, and to just let it run its course. It's been somewhat miserable at night when he wakes himself up coughing, but other than that, he seems to be a happy camper. His cough is pretty bad though. When his congestion was really bad, we'd have to prop him up in his car seat in his crib. Like so....

(Too funny his pose, he's actually sleeping like this. When we walked into the room and saw this, we had to snap a picture).

Luckily, the congestion is getting better, but that darn cough is still there. We've been rubbing Vi.cks on his chest and back in hopes that it'll help, but nope, not much luck there. Poor guy.

In eating news, nope, we still dont have the sprouts of any teeth yet, but we are expanding his food repetoire (sp?). We've went from rice cereal and poi, to squash, peas and today carrots. I had all these big designs to make his food myself, but right now, I just cant find the time to do it...so we're feeding him Earth's Best organic baby firsts from Whole Foods. So easy to just buy the jar and pop it open. He seems to like all the foods we've introduced so far. It's kinda cute when we introduce a new food to him, he shudders and it appears as if he doesn't like the food, but then he'll happily chomp away. He's finishing about 1/3 of a baby food jar in one sitting. He seems to be hungry fairly often (looking at my food when I eat it and showing interest in it), so we've just begun feeding him baby food or rice cereal 3x a day. He eats every time! I've also been feeding him small sips of water from a cup or glass and occassionally when we're on the go, a sippy cup. I read somewhere that getting a child used to a cup or glass now is better than a sippy cup, because at this age they're still maleable to anything. If we get him too accustomed to a nipple or sippy cup, he may not transition to a big boy cup as easily. Ah, whatever, I think I use a regular cup with him because i'm too lazy to go get a sippy cup for him and just give him sips from the water I'm drinking.

I've begun contemplating weaning him off breastmilk. On the one hand, it's just so time consuming and demanding to be pumping every 3 hours or to be present to breast feed him. I really do plan my life around pumping or breast feeding, and I'd love to have the luxury of not having it be that way. But on the other hand, I'm cheap and dont want to spend the money on formula and am worried I'd be taking away any additional health benefits that Kaua may get from my breast milk. DH wants me to continue breast feeding, but only because he read somewhere that its good for Kaua. I will at least do some research as to whether it really makes a difference to breast feed or formula feed your baby after he is six months old. For some reason, I feel as if I read that breast feeding for 6 months is ideal, and after that it doesn't really matter. (but I could just be making that up).

The little guy is about 18 lbs now (17 lbs, 9 oz) and wears size 6-9 month clothing exclusively and some 12 month clothing. He'll be 6 months old on May 27! Half a year away to his first birthday party!

In milestone news, we're working on having him sit by himself unsupported. He can sit pretty well on the couch:

But sitting on his own without any back support is still iffy. He can sit ok, but someone needs to be there to make sure he doesn't topple forward or backward or to the side. It's quite funny really. He's still not a crawler. He doesn't even get up on all fours when on his tummy and I'm not sure how to show him how to do it. He does roll from front to back and vice versa pretty regularly, and sometimes it drives me bananas because when he's sleeping with us, he ALWAYS rolls himself all the way over to me, crowding me on the bed, no matter how often I move him away, he somehow finds his way back to me. And usually, it's his feet or hands that are digging into me. He also loves to be held so that he can stand on his legs. I've heard of babies going directly from back/tummy to standing on their own (skipping the crawling stage) and I wonder if that will be Kaua. One thing is for sure, when he starts to move, we're going to have to baby proof the house. (Hopefully it'll be a house of DH and my own...we're in the market to buy again!)

His bed time is between 7pm and 8pm usually and he takes either two long naps during the day (approximately 1-2 hours) or if there's too much noise and his naps are disturbed, he'll take three cat naps throughout the day. He gets up at the God-awful hours of 5am-6am daily! On the rare occasion, when he gets up before 5am and wants to play, I can sometimes get him to fall back asleep in half an hour and he'll then sleep until about 7 am and that's what I call "sleeping in!" So as you can see, these kind of hours really take a toll on any night life I'd like to have (like I have any option of having a night life....at my new/old hometown, there is nil in the way of nightlife).

Well, that's all in the news of Kaua-chronicles. I hope everyone else is doing well out there!

I'm still here1

Mother's Day

It's here! The long awaited Mother's Day!

I feel so proud and accomplished to reach this long awaited milestone. I feel like I'm a member of the "cool club." As if i get to wear this badge of honor and connect with others out there...you know, those "regular" people who never have or had to worry about bebe-makin-carryin-havin- You know, those people who have never been kid challenged. Yup, I get to walk around all day, expressing "Happy Mother's Day" to random strangers to my heart's content and getting the same in return, while I wave my baby around like a trophy as if I've never had a care in the world about having a kid.

But the truth is..I did have some trouble having Kaua. I had two miscarriages and maybe woulda had more, if it weren't for divine intervention and google and blogs. But enough reflecting on the past. I'm here. I've got the most handsome-est adorable son (well, next to yours out there) and I love that bugger...even though he's a 5am waking booger! lol.

And i've got beautiful purple irises in a vase on our entertainment stand from my DH which he got me this morning b/c he works tomorrow. And I'm a mommy!

Happy Mother's day to all! (angel mommies especially!)

p.s. We moved Kaua onto his next solid food today. We went from rice cereal which kept giving him constipation, to poi. He loved that poi! I mixed it with breast milk and some water and he chomped it like a champ. We froze more servings so he can have it over the next few days.

Stranger Recognition

Kaua is starting to recognize strangers. I really noticed it when I was visiting my dad over the weekend. Unfortunately, my dad is not and has not been a full time resident of the county in which we live for a while now, so he has seen Kaua infrequently. So when I gave Kaua to my dad to hold him, Kaua started crying and making the cutest saddest little face. We tried to “tough it out” by letting Kaua stay in my dad’s arms while I talked to him or played with him, but Kaua wouldn’t have it. He proceeded to cry and his howls got louder and louder till it was a full blown fit. I gave in and took Kaua back and he immediately stopped crying, but he had cried so hard, he had those after-cry sobs (you know, those kind that you cant stop escaping from your mouth no matter how hard you try?). I’d never heard him have those sobs before, so this must have been one very serious cry. Poor thing. Of course, Kaua is fine, but I hope that overtime, we can continue to visit my dad and get Kaua used to his grandpa. It’s the only one he has (other than his great grandpa and my mom’s BF whom we call Grandzim). I feel the most bad for my dad though. Due to his absence here, he is a stranger to all three of my brothers kids, and perhaps he may be one to Kaua. Not if I can help it though.

Mother's Day approaches

I'm so excited, my first legitimate mother's day! I feel as if I'll be celebrating a rite of passage of sorts, on this day. And I believe it too....being a mom is hard work (especially since kaua has a really bad cold and we've been having 7 nights of coughing and sleeplessness!)

Last year for mother's day, I was in early pregnancy with Kaua (9 weeks) and we were in the midst of our east coast trip. So while it was awesome to celebrate mother's day last year with a baby in my belly, this year I get to celebrate mother's day with my son in my arms! It's amazing to think back on my journey towards this point. While short lived in the scheme of things, 6months of heartbreak, it seemed so long. And at the time, I had no idea if I would ever get to celebrate mother's day as a mom. When I read the stories of other bloggers out there who are also getting to celebrate mothers day for the first time either with a new baby in their belly or a new baby in their arms after their own personal struggle to get to where they are now, I feel a sense of awe, wonder, accomplishment and greatfulness. It's such an awesome thing to be a mom; to be a little beings entire world; the total reason for their happiness. The bond between mom and kid is so strong. Next to being a wife, it is the best feeling in the world. I know DH also feels similarly as a father, so when you combine those feelings of motherhood and fatherhood in a loving marriage....the love is boundless. God surely knew what he was doing when he created a family. =)

Too bad DH has to work on mother's day. =( But good news is, my family and I have fun plans to go to the beach. We'll have a BBQ or picnic and the kids can play on the grass or in the sand at the beach. My mom, her BF, my Dad, my grandparents my brother's 3 kids, Kaua and I will all be there. I'm looking forward to it. I just hope the weather cooperates.

What are your mother's day plans?

Classic Photos

Wee, lift off!!

Did any of it get in my mouth?

Mmmmh, this tastes yummy!

Cousin Saydie says, "How come I got stuck with this job?!" Kaua says, "Yikes, get me off this ride, I feel sick!"

4 month appt (at almost 5 months old)

I know, it's been FOREVER. It's just so hard to get on the computer now that I'm back to work. The last thing I want to do when I get home is get on the computer. But today, I made myself, because today, Kaua had his 4 month appointment (although he'll be 5 months old in 5 days).

So he is 16 lbs, 9 oz and 26" long....that puts him in the 75th percentile for height and weight. His head circumference, is at the 50th percentile. So he's still a big boy, but not a giant. I still hope he stays on the bigger side of things. He also took his two shots like a champ. We did the whole mommy tickle and distract him and he winced for the first one and cried after the 2nd one. I nursed him right after and it seemed to help. He slept longer today and was more fussy than usual, but no fever. I did, however, give him some infant tylenol in the afternoon, just cause he was fussy and seemed in pain. That helped.

And let me just brag for a bit...but the pediatrician said he's got the skills of a 6 month old already (yeah, he's a genius, send him to harvard!). She also thinks he's going to teeth soon, but I dunno, I've been feeling his gums and I dont feel anything. We shall see....

At the appointment we got the green light for solids! So according to our pediatrician, we'll start him on rice cereal with a spoon for a few weeks, then vegetables for 3-4 days for each new introduction.

Tonight we did his first ever rice cereal experience with a spoon. I mixed in a tiny bit with some breast milk...and of course we captured it all on film to share with you all (dont mind me, I'm in pjs and just out of a shower....).

Kaua is now a champion roller...going both ways, front to back and back to front. So that means, we have to really watch him when he's on the bed, couch, changing table, etc. He also rolls himself over if he wants to sleep on his tummy...and we've pretty much accepted the fact that his day time naps have to be on his tummy, because if we put him on his back, he'll just get right back up. Ever since we've been putting him on his tummy for daytime naps, his naps have been EXCELLENT! We're talking 1 - 3 hours!!! Such bliss. He is such a happy baby when he's well fed and slept. Of course, the pediatrician was not stoked on the tummy time naps, but oh well, whatcha gonna do, huh?

Kaua is also getting over his 2nd cold, ever. Lotsa congestion. So yesterday, for the first time, we tried this salt water remedy thing I saw a girlfriend do with her 6 month old a while back. She just warmed up some water, mixed in some salt (to make it similar to tears), then used the nasal aspirator and squirted it in one of baby's nostrils. The water will then come streaming out the other nostril and the same one in the process. This helps loosen the mucus so that when baby sneezes, or when you suck it out with the aspirator, it comes out easier. And let me tell you, it works. After we did this, Kaua sneezed a couple times and lotsa stuff came out. Of course, he eventually got congested again, but it seemed to help.

Anyways, life is going well with us here. Kaua is such a doll and we are loving him as much as can be!