look what santa left in my stocking this year!

4 weeks 1 day old.

it was gas.......

It was gas. Not colic, thank God. (I read that Colic is when a baby cries for 3 hours or more for more than 3 days a week). kaua has never cried for more than 5 minutes. He's just fussy sometimes.

I figured it out that it's gas. I read online that it helps to burp baby (keep him upright) for at least 10-20 minutes after eating, as well as put his mattress at an incline. I did both and they seemed to help. (Sometimes the mattress thing doesn't work, though, its more of a test approach).

What's causing his gas? I'm not sure. I wondered if its something I'm eating? I'm thinking I'm ruling it out though b/c I dont eat gassy foods, and I haven't been eating anything that I didn't eat before. I think its more the way he nurses...Kaua is a noisy nurser. He makes all these loud sucking noises most of the time, and I think that's how the air gets in him. I tried making sure he has a good latch and making sure he's in a good nursing position (what is a good nursing position anyway?), but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I've resigned myself to believe that Kaua is a gassy boy....like father, like son.

The other thing...Kaua likes to sleep in my arms or on my chest. I'm trying not to spoil him, but many times its the only way he'll stay sleeping. I go to put him down, and in a few seconds he'll get fussy and start crying, then is quite content as soon as I pick him back up. GRRRRRRRRR.. The good news, its not just me, he likes it when anyone picks him up....so if there happens to be a grandma or DH around...then I've got some reprieve. But for the most part, sime I'm a SAHM now, its just lil 'ol me. It's tough to do anything this way. Most of the time, I cant even check email or blog b/c he's in one arm and it's soooooooooo difficult to type with one hand (usually my left one too!).

Anyways, all is well in Kaua land. Just taking it day by day. He's got a cold that he caught from his cousins which adds to the misery sometimes, but overall, he's such a good baby. I really cant complain. =) And tomorrow is his first Christmas!! So exciting!!! With the sale of our home though, mommy and daddy are broke and there's no christmas gifts this year. it's ok, though. The best gift is already here....Kaua. =)


Little Kaua reindeer - enjoying the warmth of the fire!

First rough night

Last night was my first rough night with Kaua. He would not go back to sleep. He got up, I'm guessing around 1:30am, to nurse, which is normal (he gets up 2-3 times a night to nurse). However, after I burped him (or tried to, last night burping wasn't very productive for some reason), when I would go to put him back to bed, he would not stay asleep. Everytime I put him down in his bassinet, he'd get back up in a matter of minutes, squirming, crying and fussing. I know this cry, it means he's got more gas or there's a diaper explosion coming on, so normally, I'd just pick him back up and burp him till one or the other happens. However, nothing would appease him last night. He was just as fussy on my shoulder or wide awake and no burp and no gas and no diaper explosions. Finally, an hour passed of this and I decided to wake DH. He has much better luck with Kaua on his shoulder, I think it's because his shoulder is bigger and less bony and therefore Kaua is more comfortable. DH got him to go to sleep on his shoulder in about 10 minutes, but when he put him down, in a matter of minutes Kaua was back up fussing again. At this point, I told DH to go back to bed b/c he needs his rest for his physical training during the day and I stayed up with Kaua. I swear, I tried nursing him 3 times and burping him and rocking him and all kinds of stuff. Nothing was working. I felt like crying, I was sooo tired and didn't know what to do. Eventually, Kaua did fall back asleep, however he had a mini version of this irratability this morning too. I'm wondering if he has the beginnings of acid reflux or gas? He will be three weeks old tomorrow and I heard this is the time when this kind stuff kicks in.

I'm thinking its not colic because he doesn't really cry. Well, he cries when he's flat on his back. But when we pick him up and put him on our shoulder, he's generally content (doesn't cry, just moves around and fusses once in a while). I hope this doesn't become a trend.

2.5 weeks old

(Kaua in his bouncer for the first time yesterday).

Well, it's been a little over two weeks since Kaua made his entrance into this world. So far, motherhood has been pretty good. I'm sure most mothers think this way, but Kaua is a super good baby. Pretty mellow, pretty easy. He basically cries when he's hungry, when he has gas, or when he's hot and sooo over his car seat! (Note to all soon-to-be-mommies, the graco snug ride 32 carseat is uber duber hot. I read this in the reivews of the product but didn't really pay attention to it, now I wish I did. Kaua gets over heated quickly in the carseat and thus, hates being in it for any length of time. grrr...... oh well, at least it looks nice, right?)

Yesterday we had our first pediatrician appointment. Kaua is now 8lbs. 10 ounces, which is awesome! (my they grow so fast!!!) The peditrician, we'll call her Dr. H, said they just like to see that baby has regained his birth weight, but since Kaua was 7lbs 2 ounces at birth, he's surpassed that. He also measures in at 21.25" and we're hoping that this growing continues. He has almost outgrown all of his newborn outfits, and thankfully, we didn't have very many. That makes me excited, because we have a lot more and a lot more cuter 3 month old outfits for him. However, they need to be shipped here along with the rest of our stuff......

which leads me to my next update. DH, myself and I are now residents of the County of ___. We had to move back to my old hometown quickly because DH got a last minute call from work saying that he had to attend a mandatory training class from Dec. 14 - Jan. 22. That totally screwed up DH's plans to have a 1 month paternity leave and our plans to take our time moving out of our home. (grrrr to the ---- county!) Escrow on our home closes on Dec. 22, so we had originally planned on moving then. But due to DH's work, we decided it best that all three of us move together on Dec. 13th...so we packed everything up in a matter of 1 week, put a ton of boxes in our garage and flew out. We'll have to fly back to our home for one day on Dec. 23 to ship our items. This will be a tough day for me, because I will be officially resigning from work as well. We're also planning on leaving kaua with my grandparents, in order to avoid lugging him around airports and such. This will be my first time away from him for so long and I'm soooooooooooo not looking forward to this. I need to start breast pumping right away so that he'll have a supply of milk while I'm gone. I'm also worried he may not take to the bottle, since I've been reading that other new mommies have had trouble with their little ones. Yikes!!!

Well, I've got 1 week to get him acustomed to the bottle (either that or bring him with me?) I know, super selfish, but I cant fathom the thought of being away from him for so long.

The challeges of new motherhood

Breastfeeding is sore. I've got the latch down ok. Not the greatest, but ok. My areola are kinda huge, so Kaua cant get his mouth around the whole thing, but we try to get as much as we can in him. Sometimes he slips though, and then ouchie city! Because of this, I dont want to move around too much and cause him to slip, so I'm pretty much confined to my position when he starts. This is causing me to be uber prepared before starting, and grateful for DH to hand me water, the burp cloth, or other necessities. Also, sometimes, well often times, he'll fall asleep while breast feeding, even after only a few minutes. But the real pain of breast feeding? The engorgement when my milk came in. Wooooweee, now that was sore (of course, not anywhere near as sore as those early labor contractions), but sore nonetheless. My milk came in 4 days after birth and man, were my BBs so full and tender. I felt like a play boy bunny, they had grown so big. I tried pumping a little, but I'm so reluctant to pump because 1) I dont like doing it, dont know why, I have an excellent pump, and 2) I dont want my BBs tricked into thinking they should be making more milk, instead of less. So it's a constant challenge to figure out how much I should be pumping to alleviate the pain from engorgement, while still not taking too much out to cause an uneven supply and demand. The engorgement lasted for about 2-3 days, but its still there if one BB hasn't been fed upon in over 3-4 hours....this happens often as Kaua tends to only get one BB finished per feeding (he takes an average of 10-15 minutes on the BB the is asleep and usually wont get back up for the 2nd...even after burping and changing his diaper).

The other challenge, which is kinda funny, is deciding when to change Kaua's diaper. I swear, as soon as we change one, he's pooping or peeing in the next one. lol. He goes through diapers like crazy that boy. I think this is a good thing though because it means he's getting his nourishment. We've already had two instances of him peeing on us while we change him and one instance of doodoo coming out while we're changing him. It's quite funny. The other thing we're learning is that not all diapers are created equal. Some diapers (namley the Huggies natural we were given) leak. We'll find that most of Kaua's pee is on his clothes rather than in his diaper. The best diaper for us...Pampers swaddlers. We really love that yellow line down the middle of the diaper that changes to blue when its wet. Super helpful!!! And we've had less leaks with this diaper. We have had a couple of diaper explosions though. But I think that's to be expected. And Kaua's bowel movements...man those are loud. His farts rival those of his fathers...it's super funny.

I know, if he finds out I'm writing about all of this when he's older he's going to be so embarrassed. So I guess we'll leave it at that.

The other question...he's still got dry skin. We have bathed him twice in the week and 1 day that he's been home, and I'm thinking I may cut that down too. We're not using soap, just water, but it still dries his skin out...everywhere. I dont think this bothers him though, it just looks funky. Other than the above, baby is doing A-OK, which is what I'm most grateful for.

Crazy news on the home front, but I dont wanna focus on that now. Suffice it to say that we're forced to move everything in 1 and a half weeks, and we still dont know if the escrow will actually go through. grrrrr.

Kaua's birth story

Ok here it is. I tried to keep it brief, but as most of my fellow bloggy buddies who have recently given birth realized, it's tough to keep the story of one of the most amazing days of your life short. =) (Hey bloggy buddies, most of us have kids that are just days apart!)

It all started Thankgsgiving day. My mom was here visiting and that morning, as I went to the bathroom and wiped, I noticed a good amount of mucus on the toilet paper. You know, the kind you get when you're ovulating and it means it's a green light for BD. I knew instantly that I was beginning to lose my mucus plug. I continued to lose my mucus plug throughout the day. Nothing like huge globs of it, like I've heard from others, but just pretty much, wipe and there it was kinda thing. I also noticed that I had 3-4 bowel movements that day, and I remember reading that this could also be a sign of early labor. I told my mom, but she still thought that didn't mean antyhing and that baby would come sometime around my due date. She even convinced my DH to plan to fly out to work Saturday night because she thought baby wouldn't come before he came back (Wed, Dec. 2..thank God this didn't happen!).

We went to DH's family's house for dinner around 4pm. Dinner was delicious. After dinner my mom and I went for a short walk. We were claiming it was to help labor along, but we both knew, (or believed) that labor was not even anywhere near imminent, and used the time to try to burn off some of that turkey dinner calories. I had been feeling pretty comfortable throughout the day (I mean as comfortable as I could be at 38 and half weeks pregnant).

Around 7ish, I started to feel slightly uncomfortable. Nothing big, just wanted to sit on a couch and lounge around rather than in an upright chair. So I went into the house and left DH and mom and family outside to continue talking. As I was lying there, watching TV, I started to notice light contractions. Nothing big, but just something I began to notice. Coupling this with the mucus plug loss, I decided to pay attention to them. By 9pm I realized they were coming about 10 - 15 minutes apart regularly. By this time, I was a little sore, but just crampy sore. DH came in the house to check on me around 10pm and asked how I was doing. I said I was feeling uncomfortable so he suggested we head home.

When we got home and around 10:30pm I went to the bathroom and saw what's been known as "the bloody show." The mucus was now bright red bloody looking, but from WTE, I had read that this is just a sign of the vessels in the cervix rupturing as the cervix dialates more. I was getting pretty excited at this point. My contractions were coming on stronger now. They were fairly noticable but still only about 10 minutes apart. I told my mom and she said to try and stay busy, sleep or watch a movie. She admitted that it was possible he was coming soon, but wanted me to labor at home as much as I could b/c she thought I'd be more comfortable there.

I tried to do as she suggested but by 12am, I was having no luck. The contractions were coming on very strong now. I was having a hard time concentrating on staying busy or the tv when the contractions came. I also struggled with the breathing. Where was DH through this all? Out cold sleeping!!! He had had several beers during TG dinner and even went across the street to drink more with our neighbor before I made him come in (b/c I had a feeling baby was coming). So I made him hit the shower and get some sleep because heaven forbid the baby come that night and he's drunk through it all!! Anyways, by 12, I woke my mom up and said that I was in terrible pain and asked her to help me time the contractions. (We had only DH's cell phone to time the contractions....note to self - get a stop watch for the next time). The contractions were still only about 8 -10 mins apart. But because I was in so much pain, I called the hospital for advice. I couldn't believe that I could be in so much pain and still be in early labor. (Even though I knew I shouldn't even come in till the contractions were 5 minutes apart regularly).

I called the advice nurses and they agreed. I was still too early to come in. I asked if it was common for someone to be in early labor with so much pain - (I couldn't even talk at some points of the phone conversation while the contractions came on...I had to give the phone to my mom and just focus on breathing). But the nurse, and my mom both said that yes, it was common and that it was very possible that I could go like this for hours, days or even weeks! Boy was that frustrating to hear. I was like, there is no way I can even last through the night with this kind of pain.

I was kind of surprised at how much pain I felt. I always believed that I had a high pain tolerance, but these contractions put me to shame. I struggled big time. I remember saying that I would never get pregnant again, and that I couldn't believe women did this all the time. I would never wish this pain on my worst enemy. The pain was indescribable.

By 2 am, I had had enough. I was tired!! I was in pain!! and I was over it. I woke my mom up and said, let's go to the hospital. I dont care what they tell me, I'm demanding drugs. My mom said that when she heard me say this, she knew there was no way she was going to talk me out of it. So we woke up DH and we piled into the car.

The drive to the hospital was uneventful. I remember DH dropped us off at the entrance while he parked the car. I remember that during the walk up to the L&D wing I had to stop 3 times due to the pain from the contractions. I remember checking in and seeing my doctor there. They checked me, and lo and behold, I was still only 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced!!! Talk about frustration!! I could not believe how much pain I was in to be just 1 cm dilated. There was talk about the possibility of sending me back home, but my doctor knew me and knew I wasn't making up the pain...so he said that while it was still too early for an epidural, they'd keep me over night, give me morphine to take the edge of the pain away and see if I progressed on my own. If I did, they'd know I was going into labor.

So I got a morphine butt shot at 4am and tried to sleep some. The pain was still as intense as ever, but with the morphine, I got groggy and tried to sleep in between contractions. I was so out of it and sore at this point that I couldn't talk sometimes. I remember the nurse would come ask me questions and sometimes I'd just ignore her, I was in so much pain. I would tell my husband to squeeze my arm hard just so that I'd have other pain to focus on when the contractions cames.

Thankfully, the morning rolled around and they checked me again at 7am. I was making progress, slowly. I was now 2-3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. The doctor said that while it was still early, I could opt for the epidural if I wanted. I was like heck yeah, give me the drugs. My mom wanted me to try walking around first to speed up the progress, but there was no way I could walk at that point, I was in so much pain and exhausted from basically being up most of the night. They brought breakfast in for me, but I was in too much pain to eat it.

At 9am the anesthesiologist gave me the epidural and let me tell you, I was a WHOLE new woman. It was like NIGHT and DAY! I could talk, I could open my eyes, I could focus, I was pain free, I was a happy camper!!! Let me tell you, I have no idea how women can stand the pain or labor without epidurals. I'm a total advocate for those things. =)

They let me hang out and checked me again at 11am. I had progressed to about 3-4 cm and 90% effaced. Things were moving real slowly for me so they asked if I wanted pitocin. Again, I was like yes, anything to get this show on the road. My contractions were still irregular...like they would come every 5 minutes, then every 2 minutes, then one after 7 minutes etc. They were hoping the pitocin would help make them more regular. They started me off at a low dose, but about every hour, they'd come, see that my contractions still weren't as ideal as they'd like and up the dose.

By 4pm they checked me again and I was 7-8 CM and 90% effaced. They upped the pitocin again. By 6pm they checked and I was ready!!! 10CM and 99% effaced. The very nice young doctor (I think she was a resident because the older OB would come in and watch her) said there was just a teeny tiny bit of cervix around the edge of his head, but that it would soon disappear. They gave me about 30 more minutes, then by 7pm the young doctor, the old doctor and a bunch of nurses all came into the room. It was time to push!!!

I pushed for 1 hour and 25 minutes. It took a while because my contractions were still regularly irregular (so they called it). I'd push, then have to wait 2-5 minutes for the next contraction to push again. They put a mirror up for me to watch, but in the beginning I was getting discouraged because although they were very encouraging and told me I was making progress with practically every push, I could see nothing happening down there. My DH even said that sometimes he'd say I was doing good, but only because the nurses and doctor were saying so, because like me, he'd see no real progress either. It was kinda funny, because football was on tv, and during the breaks, DH would be watching tv, the nurses would be chitchatting, my mom would be talking with DH's mom, and I would be watching the monitor, waiting for another contraction to register (I could feel the contractions coming, but it was easier to see them coming on the monitor).

Then finally, his head was showing!!! It still took a while for it to come out. Everytime I'd push him a little further out, but then he'd slip back in. Finally, I stopped watching the mirror (partly b/c the doctor sat infront of me and blocked it) and just concentrated on pushing. I guess his head finally came out b/c in the middle of a push, the doctor said, stop pushing and I could feel his body just slip out (which surprised me, I had always thought the shoulders were the hardest part to get out, not in my case I guess). The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck once, but it was very lose and we weren't alarmed. His heart rate had been fairly steady throughout the pushing. He was out!!!! He didn't cry until they clamped his umbilical cord for DH to cut, then he let out his first scream. It was wonderful!!

DH cut the cord, then they put him in a blanket and placed him on my chest. I was like whoa, this is my kid!! This was what was in me the whole time. I was amazed to see that he was like a little person...full head of black hair and huge dark eyes. Super cute. I didn't feel any rush of strong emotions though, which is what I had anticipated. I felt more awkward and I was shaking uncontrollably at this point due to the adrenaline and I remember saying that he's got his own vibrating chair on me. They let him stay on me for quite some time while I delivered the placenta and partially while she sewed me up. (I had 1 2nd degree tear...small she claimed).

Eventually they took him, cleaned him up, weighed him and measured him. 7lbs 2.3 ounces and 19.5 inches long (though we think that was a mistake b/c 3 days later he measured 21 inches). He was such a good baby!! Not much crying at all. He even ate about 2 hours after his birth for two whole hours! 1 hour on each boob(I think part of the length was because it took a while for him to get colostrum out of me).

They waited for some feeling to come back to my legs and transferred us to our postpartum room where we would stay for the next two days. What a wonderful exhausting day!!

Now Kaua is 1 week old and we swear he's grown more already. He was super skinny at birth (long arms, legs, fingers and toes). Now it looks like he's got more fat on him. Still skinny though. (Both DH and I were scrawning kids, so it looks like Kaua may be skinny as well). More pictures to come.....

Kaua sneezing at 5 days old.

We're about to leave the house to go get our newborn photos taken at the hospital, so not much time to write (we couldn't get them taken at the hospital when we were there b/c he got circumsized the day we were planning to do it and I felt so bad about making him so uncomfortable that I didn't want to put him through anymore stress. I cried when they brought him back to the room and you could tell from his cries that he was sooooo mad and in pain from the procedure. It breaks your heart to know that your child is in pain and there's nothing you can do to make it better. I completely understand that feeling that mothers go through. Thankfully, his penis is healing and he's a happy camper.) Here's a video of Kaua sneezing. I think it's so adorable.

Kaua is HERE!!!

Hey guys, not much time to write, but wanted to update everyone and to thank you for your comments on my last post. I guess the little guy decided to cut mommy some slack b/c he came on black friday - November 27, 2009 at 8:25pm. Guess all my sniveling about being 1 cm dilated and no effacement didn't matter much huh?

Kaua is a happy and healthy little guy. He was 7lbs 2.3 ounces and 19.5" long. He was a little lighter than we expected, but I guess it makes sense since he was 1 week and 2 days early. We had our first follow up appt yesterday (our first day home) and he already grew to 21"!!! Crazy how fast they grow.

I'll post again in the next few days to share his birth story and hopefully some pictures!!

B MoM over and out -- and finally a mother!!!! God is sooooooooooo good!

38 weeks

I'm 38 weeks 2 days today. I just had my PNA and sadly, I'm just 1 cm dilated and very little, if at all, effacement. I saw Nurse Wonderful again today and she said she thinks I'm going to give birth close to (or after) my due date. =( I'm surprised at how devastated I am by this news. I think part of it is because a friend of mine, who was due just 4 days prior to me, just gave birth on Sunday. (Her water broke a little, so they started her on pitocin). That gave me hope that my time would come soon...but she was dilated for 2 cm for a while already. I just started dilating, and the way Nurse Wonderful said it, it sounded like I was 1 cm at best. =(

The good news is I gained back the 5 lbs I lost over the past few weeks. So I've been given the green light to be able to exercise again. not sure what kind of exercise I'll be doing, but probably lotsa walking and of course - s.e.x. - as DH and I try to speed this little guy's arrival along.

I also now know what a contraction feels like because when NP Wonderful was in there, she massaged the cervix a little to try to get it to soften/open up. The cramping that I felt during this was what she said I could expect to feel when I have contractions. I now know that the BH that I though I was having were not BH, but instead just baby boy, sticking his body out, making my tummy feel hard. that explains why I'm not very dilated at this point despite the "BH" I thought I'd been having daily. lol. Ah well, at least now I know.

So how am I feeling at 38 weeks? Heavy and sore and uncomfortable. Walking hurts. Moving my right leg at all, hurts (even to put on clothes, get out of bed, standing up from a sitting position, everything!) My feet are tired. My body feels tired. My brain feels tired. I think a lot of this has to do with not only being 38 and a half weeks pregnant, but also the heavy work load I've been enduring for the past 3 weeks, coupled with the house in escrow and all the paperwork and deadlines I'm having to go through associated with that, plus having a part-time DH (since he's gone 3-4 days of the week) and also living with my MIL. It's just too much for me.

I know, I'm throwing myself a pity party. I'll perk up b/c my mom comes into town tomorrow night until Sunday night! Yippee!! (Not sure how this is going to work with MIL visiting since we only have one guest bed. I have a feeling MIL will stay with other relatives while my mom is in town...but I haven't exactly spoken with her about it.)

And last, but certainly not least - here's my 38 week belly photo:



I forgot to measure myself!!! Not to worry, I'll probably have a 39 week belly photo to measure myself with. Ok, pity party B MoM over and out!

Two hospital visits in 1 week!

First off, I'm ok, baby is ok.

Now on to my stories. So my weekely PNA appointment was on Tuesday. I saw NP wonderful again, and apparently I've lost 3 more pounds!!! (For a total of 5 lbs in two weeks.) I swear I was trying to eat more since my last PNA appointment, but apparently, I haven't been. (I even went out to dinner with DH for our anniversary, ate my whole plate, had two rolls and cheesecake for dessert!) So of course, Nurse Wonderful wasn't too happy with me. She checked me out (felt the baby, checked his heartbeat and checked my fundal height) and all was normal. But she wanted me to have an ultrasound just to make sure. Unfortunately, the ultrasound technician was completely booked or busy or something that day at our clinic, so she sent me to the KP hospital for a Fetal Non-stress test and fluid evaluation instead. She said she just wanted to make sure my fluid levels were adequate and that wasn't the reason for my weight loss (which I knew it wasn't, the weight loss is due to all the stress I'd been having at work). So off to the hospital I went, with DH in tow. We got there and another nurse did the fluid level check. Everything was normal. Then she hooked me up to the fetal monitor. Pretty trippy to hear baby's heartbeat for that length of time. I had no contractions during the stress test (booooo, not going into labor just yet huh?), and baby passed the test - they look for at least two heart rate accelarations in the 20 minutes and he had four. So everything was all good. They sent me home with instructions to try to eat more snacks in between meals -- like shakes or jamba juice. I'm trying, I promise!! If only I could have this weight loss problem after pregnancy!!

Ok, flash forward to last night. I meet up with a girlfriend for dinner and (sorry this is kinda tmi) I noticed that my panty liner (which I've started wearing for the past three weeks to collect the excess discharge) is soaked through. I take it off, but dont replace it b/c I'm at dinner and dont have an extra on hand. No biggie I think b/c excess discharge is nothing new to me at this stage in the pregnancy. However, after dinner, as we're browsing through a store with another friend, I start to feel these sharp pains in my bladder and cramp like pains in my lower uterus (imagine severe menstrual cramps accompanied with someone stomping on your bladder). I was in pain for a good 5 minutes or so and it was uncomfortable. I had had these same type of pains Tuesday night, but figured it was baby stomping on my bladder. I tried to see if there was anything about this in my WTE book, but nothing. So when it happened again last night, I thought, hey, maybe I better call the advice nurse to see if its anything to be concerned about. So, I head out of the store, and stop off at the public restroom, to try to empty my bladder to see if it will help. At that time, I again notice that I have a lot of wetness on my panty since dinner.

So on the drive home from dinner (the pain is gone at this point), I call the advice nurse. I ask her about the pain, but in the process of telling my story, I also tell her about the soaked panty liner and wet undies. She tells me she's not very concerned about the pain, but its the pantyliner and wet undies that's got her more concerned. She says it could be leaking amniotic fluid. At this point, I'm doubtful, so I'm trying to barter with her, saying I think I'll just head home, change my underwear, put on a new pantyliner and see if those get wet too. Of course, though, she tells me that it would be her advice to just come in to L&D to make sure it's not amniotic fluid. This being my first baby and all, I feel guilty if I dont comply and say, ok, I'm turning around and coming in.

So I get to the hospital, and at this point my cell phone is dead. (Note to self, carry phone charger in car at all times!) I had called DH to tell him the situation (He's off island right now), but also told him, dont worry, I doubt its anything and that I'll call him as soon as I know what's up. And my lovely friend whom I was with at the store is worried about me, so she tries to check on me and my cell phone is now dead. So of course, she calls our close circle of friends to see if anyone knows what's up, and they dont....so they get in touch with DH. DH tells them I'm at the hospital and of course, that starts the worry chain. (My friends are super cute and caring!!!) I'm at the hospital for about 1 hour while the docs and nurses check me out. I'm hooked up to the monitors again, and lo and behold, I have a couple contractions!! I'm thinking, uh-oh, is this it? I dont have anything packed, none of the baby's clothes are washed, and DH isn't even here! But of course, the contractions stop and they are super inconsistent (totally normal for this stage in my pregnancy). I'm not dilated at all, and the fluid...it's just discharge (like I thought!!). So the hospital says I'm not in labor and my water isn't broken yet, but I did the right thing by coming in just to be safe. They also say that most first time moms come in to the hospital on at least 2-3 occassions for false alarms. I guess we can chalk me up to having false alarm #1 (even though I really didn't want to go, the advice nurse guilted me into it). I let DH and my friends know that I'm getting discharged and I head home. BTW: the reason for the pain? Apparently baby is banging his head on my uterus and cervix, which is causing me all this pain. According to doc, he's very active and this is normal. When I feel the shooting pain sensation, my instructions are to try to move around a bit (walking etc) to try to get him to shift. It should go away in a several minutes, but if it keeps staying consistent, then I should call the hospital again.

So today, everything is great. Baby is fine. I'm trying to eat more. And since I'm here, and able to blog (while at work!) you can see that for today, my work load is decreased. =) (Let's hope it stays this way!)

Tomorrow I have a baby shower with these same lovely friends who were all so worried about me. (Even the hospital staff commented on how lucky I must be to have such a great support group...and you know what? I am lucky!!). Looking forward to it!

(And another note -- which will be another post someday -- ITS THE RETURN OF THE MIL!!!! SHE'S COMING ON SATURDAY AND STAYING INDEFINITELY TILL THE BABY IS BORN!! ACK!!!!)

37 weeks

37 weeks today! Here's the belly photo.



I'm still 40.25".

I had my first weekly PNA this past week, and I saw Nurse Wonderful. She's still wonderful. =) But I lost 2 lbs since my prior appt and she was a little concerned. She said I've only gained 9lbs since 27 weeks. I think overall my weight gain is still good - 29lbs and my belly measurements are still right on track. But she said now is the time I should be gaining some weight b/c baby needs all the fat he can get. I chalk up the weight loss to the work hours I've been putting in. I've been working like crazy and therefore have not had time to blog or catch up on blogs at all. On top of that, I've been dealing with our house being in escrow (yay!) and of course, having a baby! Whew! But I'm handling it all in stride, and I'm doing ok. I've been trying to make sure I eat three square meals each day, and now I'm trying to make sure I have a snack in between each meal. That should do it. Who knows though, I may just be one of those people that gain all their weight in the beginning of the pregnancy.

I asked her to see if she could estimate how big the baby was at that appointment and she said he's about 6lbs. She said if I go all the way to 40 weeks, she'd guess he'd be born at 7.5 to 8 lbs. Sounds good to me! =) I'm soooo ready for him to come now, but I think he'll probably wait till it gets closer to the DD. He's still head down and will likely stay that way for birth. Good boy!

I've got one more baby shower next weekend, and I'm excited for it. It'll be with all of my friends. =) Despite having one more baby shower, I couldn't help but get some of the things I still needed this weekend when I returned that expensive BRU bed set (I did keep the receipts though, just incase I need to return stuff). I picked up the baby monitor we wanted (the Sony 900), a changing table cover, a mattress pad, some baby detergent (so I can start washing baby's clothes and sheets), some Avent bottles, a bottle warmer (so daddy can feed Kaua breast milk too) and some baby beenies (how much do you think I'll need of those? I didn't know I already had 3, and I bought 3 more to make 6...too much??? We'll be moving to a colder area soon, so I want to be sure baby is warm). I still want to get a couple crib sheets and one or two sheet savers, but that'll be for the next go round. After getting that, and the breast pump and sling/carrier I'm hoping to get from the baby shower (I know, I sound presumptuous dont I?), I think we'll be as ready as we can be for Kaua to come. woohoo, I'm excited!!! 3 more weeks to go, and hopefully less than that. If my DD comes and goes without Kaua's appearance, I'm going to go crazy!

I'm planning to talk to the boss that's been giving me all this work on Monday to let her know that I'd like to scale back my work the week of November 30 since that's the week of my DD, and I think she'll be understanding. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that when I told another boss about my not so concrete situation with moving and escrow (if escrow goes well, we move out 12/22, if not, then no moveout date as of yet) and the possibility that my last day of work may be the day I give birth, he was very supportive. He said not to worry, just let them know when I know for sure, and not to worry about medical insurance because they'll be prepaying for that month anyways. =) I was worried that they would want a more definite date (I cant give them one until all of the escrow dates where the buyer can pull out have passed - so far we passed the C-52 inspection, but the biggie is whether the appraisal will come in at the price the buyers' are paying which will enable them to get their financing with their lender!), but he was very understanding. I'm really really glad I work for this firm and I'm sad to be leaving (somewhat sad at least). I know I'm not cutout to do this line of work because I'm too much of a nice guy and my feelings get hurt when I deal with a-holes that come in this line of work. I do know that if I was to continue working in this profession, my plan would always be to work for this firm. I look at my leaving the firm as a way to explore a new career, something that I'll enjoy doing every day.

Anyways, last but not least, my DH and I are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary this weekend (the date was actually on the 10th but DH was out of town. And you know what I just realized, that means that this is the 1 year anniversary of this blog as well, b/c I remember my first entry on this blog was on our wedding anniverary, so happy blogoversary to me too! My how things have changed from that day to this!). DH and I exchanged gifts last night - cotton - he bought me a very cute sweater/top from the town where he is stationed at (in a size for when I'm back to my regular prepregnancy shape, which I hope will be soon, I miss my cute clothes!) , and I bought him boxer shorts with embroidery on it that says "Property of B MoM" as well as an Itouch armband for him to use when he's working out. (Obviously since money is tight, our budget for gifts is minimal). Tonight we're going to a nice dinner which will be our first since we've been pregnant!, and we're realizing that this will also be the last time as just the two of us. Next weekend he'll be working out of town, and the weekend after that is Thanksgiving and my mom will be here, and the weekend after that, we expect to be a trio!! Craziness to think of it that way!

Oh and p.s. - here's the picture of the walmart bedding that we got for about 1/3 of the price as the BRU bedding:




I think we did pretty good for 1/3 the price!!! And that's the first toy/stuffed animal I ever bought for Kaua - a firefighter wish-bear, just like his daddy. =)

it's been a while! 35-36 weeks

It's been a while since I last posted! I'm now 36 weeks pregnant and considered full term! Just 4 more weeks till D day, though I wish it could be sooner. A lot has been going on for me, and sadly, I haven't had a chance to post about it because my work is killing me. I'm sooooo looking forward to the day I give birth, in large part because I'll be done working. I'll be done working because...our house is in escrow!!!! We received two offers in the two weeks that we've put it on the market and we countered one of them to get the price we wanted, and they accepted yesterday!!! If all goes well, which we'll have to pray about, our closing date will be December 22!!!! I'll be home for Christmas!!! Crazy! I'm not even sure how I'm going to tell my work, or what that means for maternity leave, medical, my christmas work bonus, etc (but I'm going to worry about that one day at a time).

Now, on to baby stuff. First, my dad bought and shipped over our car seat!!! It looks great and yesterday, my DH installed the base into our car (now that was interesting, but we've got it done, so we're good).



This is a Graco Snug Ride 32 car seat and I've chosen these colors so that if (and I'm hoping when) we have baby #2 (who I'm praying will be a girl), it'll be color neutral enough. I've of course, also chosen the carseat b/c it accomodates infants who are 32 lbs and 32 inches long, so Kaua should be able to use this hopefully till he's 1 year old. Sometimes, when babies are big, they outgrow their carseat before they turn 1, and the recommendation is that infants stay rear facing until they are 1.

Yesterday, DH and I had our hospital tour. It wasn't much, but we at least got to see where we need to go when its time and the facilities are pretty nice. The wing is fairly new at our hospital, so there's a lot of nice amenities and upgrades from the old L&D wing.

I've also flew back home for my mom's baby shower last weekend. It was so nice to be back home and be near my doggie! We had such a good time and I got tons of stuff that we'll need, and tons of stuff we dont need, but it's the thought that counts right? Luckily, we've been able to return a lot of the big ticket items we dont need, so I can (and have been) using the store credits to get stuff we do need.

I've solved the bedding dilemma and bought a different bedding from WAlmart for much less than the exhorbitant BRU price. I dont have a picture yet, but I will go take one now and upload it during my next posting. During this trip home, I really visualized DH and I actually living there, and I could do it. It was nice. On my previous trip home, I was worried about moving there because I felt like it would be too slow for us compared to the city we live in now....but over this trip, because we were all there, my doggie was there, and we spent a lot of time with family, it reminded me of why we were moving home, and I was happy. It'll be quite an adjustment, moving back in with mom, but we'll do it. And the goal will be to save up enough money over the next few years to buy again!

And finally, a pregnancy update. New on the pregnancy front are Braxton Hicks. I've been having at least 1 or 2 a day. Usually more. They're not sore, and they're super infrequent, but they're there. I can tell I'm having one b/c my tummy feels tight and I can see the outline of baby boy a little more in my tummy (like two huge bumps in the middle of my belly).

During my appointment last week, the doc had to do a vaginal strep culture. Since he was down there, he did an internal check to see if I was dilated or effaced, and nope, none of the above. =( Looks like baby is still going to keep cooking. Bab was head down and in the right position so that's the good news. Doc was also happy because he said he wants baby not to come until anytime after today. But man oh man, is this last month the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE! I'm a little swollen in my feet, but not much. But the backache has stepped up and the RLP has stepped up considerably. It's really really uncomfortable to get up from sitting positions or lying positions. It even hurts a lot sometimes when I'm walking. Baby boy's kicks are distracting at times, but that's nothing new. And of course, I'm getting huger and huger, which makes me feel so blah......I dont even want to take maternity photos anymore b/c of how big and bloated I look and feel. Pregnancy glow?? Not me! But the good news is we're now considered full term, so whenever baby boy is ready to come out into this world, he'll do fine. I'm ready for him now!!!

Here are my 35 and 36 week photos:





As of today, my circumfrence is 40.25 inches.

34 weeks and crib bedding

Alrighty, we're down another week! Just 6 more to go till D-Day (due date) and one more to go till Mom's baby shower.


Here's the latest belly photo and I'm measuring at 40" even. (Doesn't the growing ever stop???)




Newest (well not that new, but totally on my mind today) pregnancy symptom is crazy baby bladder urges. I can literally feel him moving around in my belly and stomping on my bladder and man, it feels sore. I really feel like I have to go to the bathroom immediately, and I when I go, there's not much coming out. It drives me crazy! His movements are so strong now. I'm definitely getting to that point where I'm ready to have him out soon (though I know I'll yearn for the peace I have now once he comes).

Also update on the house situation - we got our photographs taken today and our house will be listed Tuesday morning (which means its officially on the market)! These first few weeks will be the MOST important in terms of getting offers. I pray pray pray that we get offered our listing price or more. I found out from my neighbor that he also plans to list his place for sale in the next few weeks! Ack! I told him to please wait b/c I dont want him under cutting our price (which I think he'll do b/c he has more equity than we do and can afford it). For now, I'm not going to worry about it. It's in God's hands. All I can do is think positive and pray for the best.

Also, as I was perusing Babies R Us today, I did a potentially silly impulse purchase. I saw that a 6 piece crib bedding set similar to the one we had registered for was on clearance for $139 (regular price $189), and the matching mobile was on sale for $30 (regular $49). (Silly me, I see the "clearance" sign and I automatically think it's a great deal and that I should get it before I miss the chance.)

I brought it home and set it up (w/o the window valence b/c it wont work for the type of blinds in our nursery) and I like it. But after talking to my mom and a friend, I'm realizing that it may still be a bit pricey, especially if I'm not going to actually be using the quilt for a long long time (due to the SIDS risk) and the window valence. I'm thinking I should return it and look elsewhere for more bargains.....especially since money is super tight right now for us. I did ask, they'll accept a return withing 90 days as long as I have the original receipt and the original packaging.





What'd everyone else do for crib bedding? Or what do you think, keepers or return? My heart is not super set on the pattern/theme, so I dont mind getting another one.

33 weeks, PNA appt and baby showers!

So much has been going on since I last posted, but I've just been so busy that I only got a chance to post it now. So here's my weekend in numerical paragraph fashion:

1) Most importantly, we reached the end of another week - 33 weeks!! The belly finally grew 1/2 an inch to 39.5". And here's my latest belly photo:



2) My work threw myself and two of my other coworkers who are pregnant a surprise baby shower on Friday. I had a feeling something was going on b/c another coworker let it slip and I could see the streamers and balloons in our large conference room as I passed by. But it was still very thoughtful that they did this for us (me) and I'm very very grateful. I'm also very very grateful for the fancy stroller that I got!!! The Mac.laren Quest Sport - in black and champagne. It'll definitely come in handy for when Kaua outgrows his little carseat and the snap n go stroller frame we have. (P.s. My daddy said he'll buy us Kaua's carseat last night!! Yay!!!) Last big ticket item on my list -- breast pump. =)

3)My inlaws threw me a baby shower on Saturday! I was unsure who would attend but there were a fair amount of people - approximately 20! It was really nice and again, the thought was there and I sure do feel loved and know that Kaua will be loved. Baby Kaua got some really cool stuff, like a swimmer diaper for the beach, a tiny little wetsuit and some really practical baby stuff like handmade blankets/quilts, onesies, a thermometer, and an electronic aspirator (never even heard of an electronic one before!). And I got two nursing pillows!! (I'll probably return one). And Kaua got some very very cute clothes including the MOST ADORABLE firefighter outfit ever!! Sadly its for a 3 month old, so I cant make it be his coming home outfit from the hospital (actually that's a good thing, he'll definitely fit into it no matter how big he is at birth and I already have a TON of handmedown newborn clothes).

4) I had another PNA appointment on Friday and everything is going A-Ok with Kaua. These appointments are seriously sooooooooooo mundane and boring, there's really nothing much to say about them. I did ask my doctor if I could attend a haunted lagoon boat ride that evening and he saw nothing wrong with it, since the ride was very smooth (nothing like a rollacoaster or other thrill ride). He just cautioned that if it was too loud, like a rock concert, I should probably avoid it, but it wasnt. We confirmed that Kaua is still head down, face down, which we're hoping he'll stay b/c that's ideal for birth.

5) Last but certainly not least, we finally picked a realtor to sell our place. It's a tandem team and they're actually the realtors who sold the house to us!! They are a FULL service realtor, which means they will charge the full price commission, but they are offering to do SO MUCH for us in terms of staging our house and cleaning it etc. all on their own dime that for me it's worth it. They're also offering us small discounts where they can, like offering to pay for the GE tax that we'd have to pay on their commission, offering to get us a discount on the closing costs for the escrow company, offering to pay for the cleaning services to clean our house, and offering their own personal time to stage my home with their own stuff or stuff that they'll buy. It's a huge relief that they will do this for us, since my looming due date is near, and I dont have much "bending" capability to do significantly cleaning in our house. They also were sweet in trying to "butter" us up when they came over to do their spiel, they brought us homemade delicious banana bread and a baby gift for Kaua (a box full of baby toys that are designed to enhance his development as he grows...very very cool!) They're also very positive on getting the sales price we want for our home. Granted, b/c we have very little equity in our home, we'll have to come out of pocket to sell the home, but we knew that going forward and are prepared for it. Who knows though, i need to only think positive and perhaps our home will sell for more than the list price!!!! The house goes on the market next week and the first few weeks will be very significant in terms of getting offers. If we get any offers right away, we'll know we're priced reasonably.

Believe and Receive right!?!

Remembering or not?

This may be a controversial post. My intent is just to post my own personal experience and do not intend to cause anyone pain. I respect everyone's beliefs and choices as I'm sure others will do the same for me.

Today is, October 15, which is
National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today is for remembering those who were lost. Those whose time on earth was brief but who will live on in our hearts and memories. At 7 pm tonight, light a candle. If everyone lights a candle at 7 pm and keeps it burning for a hour there will be a continuous wave of light over the entire world honoring those whose time with us was too short.

(I took the above from other's posts in the bloggy community).

Personally, I feel reluctant to recognize/celebrate this day for myself, despite having gone through two prior miscarriages. My reason? Simple - I dont want to remember my grief and pain of last year. (I will however recognize and celebrate this day for those many other parents who wish to remember their losses).

Coincidentally, I believe I had just had my first D&C for my 2nd MC around this time last year. I remember this time of year because both my mom and my grandma flew up to be here with me during and after the procedure and I remember going Halloween shopping with them and I remember purchasing a Halloween candy bowl for my house to put candy in. We also bought some fake spider webs and spiders and decorated the bowl. The pain and grief I felt during that time was like no other I had ever experienced. I was confused. I had lost two pregnancies consecutively. I felt completely robbed of my "innocence" and normally sunny disposition that I've always had on life. I put that bowl out this past weekend and filled it with candy and I remembered its origin for a brief few minutes as I did so.

But back to my post. For me, setting aside a day to remember my 2 MCs is like setting aside a day to be sad. I dont want to be sad. I'm happy. I have a healthy boy in my belly. He's expected to arrive in this world in less than 8 weeks. When people ask if this is my first, I respond with yes, it is. I dont know if I really count my first two pregnancies as a first and second child and that Kaua is my third. Those pregnancies lasted 5.5 weeks and 9 weeks respectively (though the embryo in the 2nd pregnancy didn't grow past 6 weeks). Although I completely respect, understand and even agree that for other's those pregancies and children are very real and somewhere in heaven they will be reunited as a family again, I just dont feel the same for my situation. Kaua is my first child. Am I weird? Am I callous? Am I heartless? I dunno. Why do I not feel the same about my prior two pregnancies? I dunno. All I know is that I'm happy, I'm blessed and I dont want to be sad. I doubt I'll ever forget my experiences and I know why I've gone through them and feel that I've grown so much as a person for going through it and infact relish my current pregnancy and will always relish having a child because of my experiences, but I dont want to set aside a day to be sad. I want to focus on celebrating.

Anyone else feel the same or am I the only one?

*edited - After reflecting a bit more on my post, I've decided that today will be a day where I will remember, honor and celebrate all those women (and men) who have gone through or are going through a loss. I will recognize that as celebrants of this day, we share a common bond of pain and grief and will send prayers and well wishes to all who continue to grieve and suffer. I will not, however, allow myself to use this day as a selfpity party, but instead, will praise God that I have been blessed with Kaua.

Naughty girl

Ok, I'm guilty. I've been peeking at my baby registry. I've been telling myself that I'm looking at the registries only to make changes and adjustments (b/c I'll find something new I want to register for, or change my mind about something I've previously registered for). But I recently realized that you can tell when someone's purchased something on your registry. So just yesterday, even though I really didn't have any "changes" to make, I peeked at my registry (actually two of the three that I have) and saw that someone bought something! (The baby bjourn air carrier!!) Yippee!!! That makes me so excited! But it also makes me feel super guilty, because it's like peeking at your birthday/christmas present before the actual day. So from today on, I'm going to promise myself not look at my registries, unless I absolutely have to (for instance, I get something from a shower that was on my registry and therefore need to take it off so that no one buys the same thing for me at another* shower). I realize I just gave myself an out to be naughty again, but I'm pretty good at following through with what I say.

I cant wait till we get everything together for the baby. It'll make it feel more "real" to me to see the nursery set up and all of the baby items ready for when Kaua comes home.

*Yes, I'm a lucky gal - I'm having three showers! -- The In law's shower (this saturday), my mommy's shower (Nov. 1) and my friends' shower (Nov. 22).

32 weeks!

32 weeks pregnant! Well, I'm another week down. Interestingly, my belly has not grown in inches, but it still looks bigger and I probably gained more weight (I find out this Friday at my next PNA).

Not much new to report. I can feel Kaua move a lot more, but I read in WTE that its because my amniotic fluid levels have topped out, which means more baby, less fluid, and therefore, less cushion to soften those "blows" that he gives me. It's really quite trippy feeling. I place my hand on my belly and feels his movements trying to guess what body part he's brushing up against my belly, but I have no idea really. Maybe the doc will be able to tell me. Less than 8 weeks till Kaua. =)

New on the symptom front is feet swelling. It's still not very significant but more than last week. I still fit my sandals, but I think it may get worse. I tried taking off my toe ring, but no luck. It still fits on my toe with some room, but it does not come off the top of my toe. I hope my feet dont swell up too much so that it cuts off my circulation, or it will be bye bye toe ring (we'll have to cut it off). I've had this toe ring on for years. Its 14K and its from my Aunty. Long story short, she was walking in the mall and a vendor asked her to try one on. She warned him that it may not come back off, and lo and behold, it didn't. He said to just come back and return it when it could come off. She never went back, but eventually got it off. She then gave it to me. I swear I've had it on my toe for over 7-10 years and it's still looking beautiful. It'd be sad to have to cut it off, but that's what I get for waiting so long to take it off.

Here's my feet today:

Not much swelling, but they were swollen saturday night when we went to watch our local university football game. I'll try to take a swollen feet picture next time.


Not much else going on other than meeting with realtors and working on getting our house market ready. Did some painting over the weekend. Still need to do some more....but it's a start.

I think my first baby shower is coming up next week saturday. The inlaws are throwing it so I have no idea what to expect. DH will be working and I'm sure it'll just be his side of the family (like how they did when they threw my bridal shower a couple years back). The interesting thing is that none of his immediate family lives here, so it'll just be his aunties and his cousin's wives. Haven't even been told where it is or when to show up. I've just been told that my saturday is reserved. Hey, it's the thought that counts right?

32 week belly photo:

31 weeks and 7th PNA update

I've completed 31 weeks of pregnancy this weekend. But I dont have a photo to share because I went camping (that was super fun!).

Last week friday I had my 7th PNA. DH was off and was able to come along. This was the last of my every 4 week appointments. I'm now going to have PNAs every two weeks, next one next Friday already!!

Kaua is doing well. Doc didn't comment on my uterus/tummy measurement, but I'm assuming all is well since he ended the appointment saying that I'm doing exceptionally well. Doc also didn't comment on my weight gain (he never really does), but I gained 4 lbs since my last PNA putting me up to 26lbs total!!! bleh! Kaua's heartbeat was normal and he appeared to be head down. Doc answered a bunch of prewritten questions I had. Off the top of my head, here are some of the things we talked about:

He indicated that what's been known as a "walking" epidural would not be very effective because if I have enough feeling "down there" to be able to walk around, I likely wouldn't be getting very significant pain relief, which is the purpose for an epidural. He stated that a perenial massage wouldn't be necessary (if I didn't want one). He said that he prefers natural tearing over an episiotomy, unless there is a reason to cut (likely due to fetal distress and the need to get baby out quicker, or the need for a vacuum or foreceps to assist in the delivery). I can continue to workout at the gym like I've been doing up until birth as long as I feel ok. The increased discharge I've been noticing is completely normal for this stage in pregnancy, as long is its generally odorless and clear (which it has been). He offered me the flu shot, but I declined it, (my reasoning is because I've never had the shot before and I rarely get the flu nowadays, so I dont see the need for it). He was fine with me not getting the flu shot, but stated that he would like for me to get the H1N1 shot when it becomes available, which I likely will. He reassured me that its very common for a baby to favor one side of the uterus over the other. Kaua really really likes my upper right side. When he checked for Kaua's heartbeat, it was below my belly button (on the right side) which indicated Kaua is head down! (yippee!!!) and that the big bump that I always feel in my upper right tummy is likely Kaua's butt sticking out. I probably shouldn't try to push the bump in when it's uncomfortable, instead I should try to change positions or move around to get Kaua to move (FYI, this doesn't work all the time, sometimes Kaua is content to stay as is, no matter how I move around). His standard recommendation for purposes of temporary disability insurance is 6 weeks off froom work for a standard vaginal delivery and 8 weeks off from work for a c-section. He said that he would provide me with a recommendation to get off of work 2 weeks prior to delivery if I wanted it as well. I asked if he would simply add on the 2 weeks after I give birth, to his standard 6 -8 week recomendation for time off from work, but he said that the insurers are pretty strict and that increasing the time after delivery must be for a substantial reason. I doubt I'll take advantage of the two weeks off prior to delivery, just because we need my full salary, and there is no sense in me not working two weeks prior to delivery if Kaua isn't here. I'd much rather work to help alleviate our financial strains. Of course, if I could extend my maternity leave (with some pay) I would totally take advantage of it if it meant I could spend more time with my son.

That's all I can think of at this time.

On the symptom front I think the only new symptoms are somewhat slight swelling in my ankles. It's not really noticable in appearance yet, but I noticed it because one of my sandals that are normally too big for me, are fitting me a little better. The back straps still fall down, but they stay up for a little longer than before. I also have a little more pain when standing up at times (my uterus feels full or I feel some slight round ligament pain). According to WTE, Kaua is almost 4 lbs and almost 19 inches long. His weight gain and growth is supposed to slow down from now till birth. I'm feeling ready for him to come out now, (I miss my flat tummy and the ease of movement you take for granted till you have a huge belly) though I know its best that he doesn't show up till 36 or 37 weeks at the earliest. Less than 9 weeks till Kaua! I know I'm going to panic when it gets closer and I realize I still have very little baby things!!

30 weeks!!

Yay, I've completed 30 weeks of pregnancy! Just 10 more weeks to go until Kaua. Craziness! I really feel as if the third trimester is flying by. Not so much as in a blink and I'm done, but much more quicker than the 2nd trimester. 10 weeks is still a lot more to go, but it's crazy to think that in just over two months, our lives will change forever. We'll be welcoming our first child into the world. How blessed is that?

Here's my 30 week belly photo and I lost a 3/4 of an inch since wednesday and measure 39 inches exactly. You can even see the difference in my girth from last Sunday to this Sunday. I dont feel as if the baby got smaller, I just feel as if I lost some of that extra chubs. I'll monitor my measurements over the week and ask my doc about it at my next appointment if my weight doesn't go up (which I admit could be a nice thing).



Things are probably going to go rapidly from here. The months of October and November are going to be busy in terms of holidays and baby showers. I've started a countdown till my baby shower (with my mom) on my side bar. I'm excited for that for a number of reasons, one of them being I get to go home and see my doggie! I miss him. Last night DH flew back to prepare for his first day at work at his new station. He said our doggie is doing well with my grandparents. His coat is looking shiny and he seems very happy. Of course, he recognized my DH and was ecstatic. I hope he doesn't forget me!

On the pregnancy front, things are still going well. My back and body are aching a teeny bit more, but not much. Yesterday, DH and I walked on the beach for exercise and the beach had a bit of a slope to it. My hips hurt from walking on the slope and I knew it was because I'm carrying about 20 lbs extra weight. We also went for a dip in the ocean and when I was walking out of the water, I could feel the immediate difference between the weightless feeling while swimming and the weight of my belly as I walked out of the water. It really put into perspective what it's like for my back and body to carry around this extra weight. My next PNA appointment (already!) is this friday, so we'll see how the weight gain is. I hope its not much! Another intersting (and possibly not a good thing) is I'm having food confusion (well that's what I call it). I find that I'm hungry, but dont know what to eat. Nothing sounds very appealing. In most of my 2nd trimester, any and all food sounded yummy. Now, I have a hard time deciding what I want to eat and that frustrates me (which in turn then frustrates hubby). It's a crazy cycle.

Anyhow, I'm off to get a pedicure with a girlfriend today. A luxury I haven't had in several months due to monetary strains....but today, I feel like treating myself. Yippee!

29 week photo

Ok, this post is belated. I didn't get to it this weekend, and have been quite busy at work (when I usually post my blogs), so haven't had a chance to get to it. But wanted to share it:



I didn't get to measure myself on Sunday when I took the photo, but I measured myself today and I'm 39.75 inches! Yikes! That's huge!

I'm really really feeling big and I think I look really big too. I've been having the hubsters help me get up off the couch and stuff (it's kinda sad). I probably can get up by myself, but I just feel so big and cumbersome, that it's so much easier to have someone pull me up. I cant believe I've got 10.5 more weeks to grow!!

Cute thought for the day....found out my close friends were planning to throw me a surprise baby shower today. (Well, I found out about the surprise today, not that they were throwing me the shower today.) Another friend inadvertently let it slip. It's all good though. I'm happy I know about it b/c it makes planning for it so much easier and I wont be sad or feel weird at the thought that my friends "forgot about me." Which I know they wouldn't have forgotten, so I think I would have figured out a "surprise" was in store....I think. I really didn't know that it was coming....But anyways, I already feel excited for this baby shower and feel extremely touched that my friends wanted to try and surprise me with it.

Focusing on baby

I went back and reread my prior posts: when I first found out I was pregnant, that first OB visit where we saw the heartbeat, that second appointment where we looked for baby's heartbeat, to that 16 week and 20 week appointment where we held our breath to see if Kaua was alright and healthy, to those first movement milestones. What an amazing journey to re-read. It made me realize that my most recent posts - fretting over DH's job, and money and the home, well.....they're all so trivial. Right now, the best thing going on for me is this little guy kicking inside me. I realized, I haven't posted about him lately, and that to me, is the focus of my blog. (Well technically, this blog was supposed to be about my journey to motherhood, so I guess all the other things count as well, but still, I prefer to keep blogging about Kaua and have him be my main focus). So this post will be an update on the pregnancy:

Kaua is still a little mover - as I'm sure all babies are at this point. Over the past few days, I've noticed that he likes to hang out on my right side. Literally pressing up and out on that side. I feel kicks and taps else where, but some huge body part is constantly pressing up against my right. It's really cool looking because sometimes, you can just see something sticking out, like a round bump. It's also sometimes uncomfortable and I find myself sort of massaging and somewhat pushing him back in --- like go more in the middle son, you're making me uncomfortable. (Dont worry, I dont press hard, I'm very gentle and I'm pretty sure I'm not hurting him). I also notice when he's likely to be head up (breech) because the movements/kicks are more low. I dont like those days as much b/c although I feel his movements, there not as noticeable so to me, not as fun. Generally, movements are up high though, so I think he's for the most part, head down.

I'm noticing that I'm more short of breath lately. Nothing that impedes my exercising, but enough so that I notice that, yup, my uterus is pressing against my lungs, making breathing a little more labored. My sleeping is still pretty good, but I find myself getting uncomfortable in bed more easily. I'll toss and turn just to be sure that I've got the right position, with a pillow supporting my belly and a pillow supporting my back and a pillow in between my legs. And man, is it HOT!!! I've got a fan blowing right at me, and I'm still sweating at all parts where my body has to touch another part of my body or is touching a pillow. I'm normally a lover of hot, I like to be warm (b/c I always feel cold), so it's obvious that Kaua is making my body temperature higher. I also find that sitting on my couch is not as comfortable unless I'm in the reclined position with the leg rest up and a pillow behind my head or back (thankfully we bought those couches with the built in lazyboy recliners in all the cushions). I also noticed last night in the shower that I cannot see my vajayjay any more (no more grooming unless I have a hand held mirror). I used to be able to sort of look around the belly to see down there, but nope, no more. Contemplating getting DH involved in the grooming process....we'll see what he thinks. lol.

Lets see, what else. Oh my mom and I are talking daily now about upcoming plans for her to be here when he's due. We're also getting excited in planning my baby shower. We've ordered invitations and made a banner for the wall. We're discussing table decorations, gifts, etc. We're going with a "warrior" theme and a "firefighter" them since Wyatt = little warrior and DH is a firefighter. It's kinda fun because it's also football season and our local college team are the warriors and DH and I are football fans. Super duper fun. =) Although Kaua will be the 4th grandchild for my mom, I think this experience is exciting because I'm her only daughter and so she gets to play a major role and in this pregnancy and birth. This is the whole reason why I want to have a girl one day. I am enjoying all of this QT with my mom, just as I did when I was getting married. It's soooooooooo fun to have a best friend who is all about you. =)

Well, that's all on the pregnancy update front. 29 week belly pic and post coming up this weekend. =)

DH comes home!

Good news in the DH work arena. He's done with training early , and he'll be coming home this Friday! It's not permanent, he'll still be working away from home, but his schedule from here on out will be very good for commuting. 3 full days/nights away, and 6 days/nights home (repeat schedule). He'll be flying back and forth, so that's an added financial strain on top of his pay reduction, but it's something we're willing to do to be together for now. He begins this new work schedule on Sunday, September 27.

The sad news is, our little (make that big) doggie will still be living away. It's just not affordable to bring him back, especially with our impending move, and the possibility of both DH and I being gone at long periods of time (while on maternity, I plan to go be with my family to be closer to where DH is working and not be alone with a newborn by myself). It's quite unbelieveable how attached we are to our doggie. He's like another son to us, and we are going to be so sad away from him. I also believe he'll be sad away from us too, especially DH. You can see quite the definitive mood change in our doggie when DH is around and not around. I'm comforted somewhat with the thought that we'll soon be together and that for now, he's got my family to keep him company daily.

This is our furbaby:

But we must count our blessing where we can. DH will be home more and that's what matters most. =) I see him tomorrow and he'll be here for over a week! That's quite a long time for us!! =) I'll probably drive him bananas (I'm quite the little princess now-a-days), like many wives do, but truly, we enjoy each other's company (or at least I believe he enjoys mine), so it'll be really nice to come home to him again. =)

Hiccups

Kaua's got the hiccups just now. I can tell b/c I can feel very light consistent movement in the same spot. They are about 1 every second and only last for about 30 seconds. This is the second time I've felt his hiccups. I also felt hiccups from him on Sunday. Too cute.

According to WTE, he's almost 17" long and almost 3 lbs this week. He's also building baby fat (white fat) used to regulate his body temperature.

28 weeks and crib is set up!

We made it another week! Here's my 28 week belly photo and interestingly, there was no growth in belly inches:



Newer symptoms are a feeling of heaviness in my lower belly/uterus. It's a little difficult to describe. Its not BH but more like I'm just getting bigger (Kaua is, I mean) and I can feel his weight more. Occassionally, I feel sharp pangs in my lower sides, which I'm sure is round ligament pain, as well as an occasional sharp pain in my left butt cheek, which I'm pretty sure is sciatic nerve pain. I usualy only feel these when changing positions (from sitting to standing or vice versa) and I read in WTE that that's normal. Once in a while I feel a little dull cramp-like achy pain, which I'm not sure what its caused by. i'm not alarmed at it b/c it's dull and occasional. I think it could be Kaua kicking me in my cervix, but I dont feel a kick low, which would further indicate its him. Perhaps he's sitting on my cervix sometimes? Not sure, so I'll call my doctor if I get concerned and really monitor myself when I feel that (make sure it's not preterm labor or something). I'm also starting to notice pregnancy fatigue more in the sense that I'm feeling less energetic than usual. Even in the mornings, I'm feeling tired and sometimes like I wouldn't mind just staying in bed. We also set up Kaua's crib this weekend and it looks great! (despite not having any bedding).

As we put the crib together (mostly DH doing the work with me occassionally assisting), I noticed the difficulty in getting up and down from sitting on the floor and overall I just felt the need to sit more often. One of my friends also came by to drop off newborn sized diapers that her daughter no longer fits, so we got a nice little starter supply of diapers. She also dropped off a cute little blue bathrobe for Kaua.

Previously, the room that Kaua's crib is in had a futon bed/couch. We were able to sell that for $30 over the weekend (it wasn't in the best of conditions so the money was a nice bonus since we were just going to throw it out), so now Kaua's room has the crib and diaper changer in it. I like walking by it and peeking in and seeing the nursery developing (though not as fancy and visually appealing as I'd prefer). It's just so exciting that we'll be having a child in a couple months! (And a little overwhelming too.). There's a lot more I want to do to the room, but I'm hesitant b/c we're moving, so I'm a litte saddened at the thought that we wont be living here for very long to enjoy it.

Which brings me on to another topic. Our move. You all know that DH is currently working away from me, so we're commuting on the weekends until I can move to be with him. The good news is, he is finished with his training early and will be put out on the field soon. The bad news is, he was just told that he will not be stationed where we thought he was going to be stationed, meaning his schedule will not be very accomodating to commuting back and forth. He's appealed to his chief about the transfer and the chief is trying to see what he can do, but there's no guarantees at this point. There are good things and bad things to this new twist in our situation.

Good news is, this may hasten my permanent move to be with DH quicker. And when I move, the schedule will work out just fine. With the prior situation, I initially planned to give birth here then move to be with DH at my leisure while he communted back and forth till then. Now, I will still give birth here, but may move shortly thereafter (maybe even not returning to work after maternity leave). The bad news is almost purely cosmetic-ish in that I'm reluctant to move out of our "home" and move in with my mom (though I love her, it's so hard to move back home after owning your own). DH, myself and Kaua will be living in a 3 bedroom with mom and her BF. Though that's still plenty of room for all of us, it wont be our own home filled with our stuff chosen specifically for our own comfort. We'll be sharing everything. I wont get to do a nursery with Kaua b/c the spare bedroom is currently my mom's office. Kaua will likely be rooming in with me and DH. It also may be a while before we can afford to get our own place, so we'll be with my mom for probably a couple years. I will also be leaving my job earlier than desired. I work for a great company and am disappointed at having to leave them and eventually look for new work (in a market which is not as great as it is here). Leaving my job will also put additional financial strains on us since we'll be living off of DH's already reduced income alone. Plus we'll all have to go under DH's medical plan which may be difficult at first based on the enrollment timing rules for the healthcare provider. Also, although DH and I will be together (yippee!!!) in one place as it should be especially when raising our first child, it will take some adjusting to the new town since we've built our lives where I'm currently living (all of our friends are here, there's a lot more to do here in the big city, etc). I really love where we live now, so I'm going to miss it. I also wanted Kaua to spend some time (just for a little) in the town which is his namesake (or at least the weather of the town), but such may not be the case since we may be moving so soon.

Either way, we've got some really decisions to make soon, depending on where DH gets stationed, and coupling this with the impending birth of our first child, is somewhat overwhelming at times for me.

But thankfully, so far Kaua is healthy and that's all that really matters. The rest is all negotiable. So for that I praise God. As for the rest, I'm going to pray to God to direct my path when determining what the best choices are for our family.

Kick counts

So at my last appointment, my doctor didn't really instruct me to do kick counts, but did mention that I should be feeling Kaua move at least six times after I eat. Now, I should have asked him, how soon after I eat? And how soon should I feel the six movements in conjunction to the first and the last? but I didnt. So I went on line and did some research on how to do kick counts. I found some very very helpful information here:
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/duringpregnancy/kickcounts.htm

And based upon this information, created my own little table for me to record Kaua's kicks. Here's a sample of what it looks like. (shucks, guess you cant paste a table from a word document in here). Well, it sorta looks like the tables here:

http://health.utah.gov/rhp/pregnancy/preged/duringpreg/kickcounts.PDF

except that I tweaked it a little more to fit my preferences. Last night, I started doing the kick counting for the first time at 27 weeks 4 days. I started at 7:45 pm and lo and behold, Kaua finished his 10 kicks in 6 minutes! Crazy! Wonder if it will always be that quick? My goal is to try and do the kick counts after dinner, when I feel his first movement. We'll see how that goes.

DH comes home tonight for the weekend! Yippee! We can finally set up his crib!

Another PNA went well.

I'm losing track, I think this is my 6th PNA. We'll just call it my 27w3d appt since that what I am today. Overall everything is still going well. I gained just 3 lbs since my last appointment (but that could be because most of my appointments have been after lunch and this one was before, but hey, I'll take it). So far the weight gain is up 22 lbs since my prepregnancy weight and while that seems like way too much for me, the doctor said I'm right on track in the weight gain department. (Let's pray I only gain 8 more lbs total and I'll have stuck to my original goal of just gaining 30 lbs).

My uterus is also measuring approximately 27 cm which is right on track and Kaua's heartbeat was averaging in the 140 BMP which is also right on track. My pee test (which I think they check for sugars or proteins, who knows) is normal, my blood pressure is normal, just about everything is normal. Hah, you'd never guess the kind of MC history I had prior to this pregnancy had you not known about it. But it's all very good so I'm happy.

We talked about me passing the glucola test and being slightly anemic. Doc said it was normal for women in this stage of pregnancy to get slighly anemic and that if I had a low red blood cell count, I would feel fatigued and lethargic (not sure if I'm feeling that now) and that during birth, I will typically lose some blood and if that is coupled with an anemia condition, it could make me even more fatigued and lethargic after birth. So, I could either take an iron supplement OR eat more foods rich in iron. (Hmm, too late, I already bought the iron supplement based on the advice of the nurse who called me). So I told him I'll be doing both, taking the iron supplement and trying to eat more foods rich in iron. We went over the instructions that I was not to take the supplement with dairy products, but he did tell me that if I took it with citrus (like orange juice or cranberry juice) that that would HELP with the iron's absorbtion in my body. So perhaps, I'll go pick some cranberry juice up to have with my pill (which I love, but it's got to be cran-grape or cran-apple, or some other mixture) .

From here on out, doc said I'm supposed to be able to feel Kaua move pretty consistently. Doc was a little vague on the meaning of "consistently" but what I got from our discussion is that I should feel him every day, I should feel at least 6 movements after eating and if I think that I dont, I should drink something cold, lie down and really pay attention to his movements. Baby will typically move more when I'm resting.

As for what type of movement I'm actually feeling, I'd say he's pretty active often and I feel him probably every couple of hours. Over the past few days he's been very active, to the point where I'm like geeze Kaua, take it easy in there, I'm trying to rest! But he still makes me laugh. His movements are a mix between kicks (taps) and what I call body movements (where it seems like he's brushing a body part against my tummy or pressing his head or other body part out). Doc said that it's normal to be feeling the body movements at this point, but as the space gets more cramped, it'll diminish to more kicks. I can tell that Kaua is getting bigger because his movements are stronger and on the rare occasion, his movements/kicks will take my breath away or really make me pause. Nothing painful, just more surprising and sometimes uncomfortable or distracting. Overall, his movements are reassuring though.

I've been reading that some girls due around the same time as me are starting to have every 2 week appointments from this point on, but not me, I got one more 4 week appointment (sometime around October 3, they didn't have the schedule up yet, so they'll call me to confirm soon), then after that one (where I'll be almost 32 weeks), I'll be going in every 2 weeks.

I also asked if I had any other big tests to take and he said the only other thing that will happen that's different than what I've been doing in these PNAs is that at my 36 week appointment, they'll be doing a vaginal exam and culture to check on my cervix (looking for dilation) and to see what position the baby is in. Doc said that by 36 weeks, the baby usually doesn't flip around and is usually in the position he'll be in for birth. For about 95% of women, the baby is head down, but if I happen to be in that 5% category (breech), then we'll have to talk about my options then. I hope Kaua decides to stay in the 95% category. Doc said he thought the baby was head down during the exam because when he found the heartbeat (which was immediately, it's amazing how fast they find it now), it was below my belly buttom which indicated to him that baby was likely head down.

We also talked about pediatrician recommendations and pregnancy class recommendations. Lucky for me, he agreed that I didn't need to take the childbirth preparation classes (which cost $80!!). I am already taking other classes offered by my health care provider (which are free) which he said are the important ones, and I'm planning on renting the Laugh and Learn DVDs (on childbirth, labor, newborn care and breastfeeding) from my library, so we're covered in the educational department. Also, I asked about getting a lactation consultant and he said the way it works for our health care provider, the consultants usually come around while I'm in the hospital after birth to see if I need help. He said to be sure that I see one, all I need to do is tell the L&D nurse I'd like to see one and she'll set it up. So, no worries about that till after birth.

I meant to bring my birth plan in to talk about it with my doctor this appointment, but I forgot it (which is becoming quite typical for me nowadays - forgetfulness), so doc said to bring that in for the next appointment and we can go over it.

So far everything is going A-OK for me and baby and that's just dandy! (yeah, I said dandy. =) ) We're in the home stretch!! =)

T-3 and glucola test

Well, we made it to the third trimester! Yesterday, Kaua made it to 27 weeks gestation and here's my burgeoning belly picture:



I'm currently spending my last night visiting DH in his new home (my old hometown) and on the plane ride over several nights ago, my plane seat mate asked how far along I was and complimented me on how great I looked! She said, she hopes she looks like me (my size) when she's pregnant. I was pleasantly surprised...b/c I've always been getting comments on how big I am and my mom even said I may not eventually fit into the maternity clothes she bought for me for my birthday. (Thanks mom!).

Anyways, 27 weeks and the 3rd Trimester! Woohooo! The end is in sight! There's a light at the end of the tunnel. Dont get me wrong, I love being pregnant, but with my growing belly, it's starting to get uncomfortable. Baby moves a lot and sometimes when I'm trying to get comfortable, his kicks throw me off. It's almost like (well it actually is) my belly doesn't belong to me anymore, it belongs to him. I'm also just feeling really big and cumbersome. I'm 39 inches and I'm still growing! I know a lot of this growing is b/c I've got this unbelievable sweet tooth. I know I'm so going to kick myself after I give birth when I've got 20-30 lbs to lose. But you know how you know something is not good for you, but you do it anyway? Yup, that's me.

So I've got some good news. I passed my glucola screening test!!! Yippeeeeee!!! I took the test on friday and I got a call from my doctor's office on Saturday. They said I passed my glucola test, but my blood results showed that I was slightly anemic (meaning low red blood cell count, meaning I need to up my iron intake). She said that it's a very common symptom of pregnancy because the baby takes up a lot of the nutrients that I would normally get from food and all I really need to do is take an iron supplement. She also recommended I take the gluconate based supplement rather than the other one, (I forget the name) because that one supposedly causes less constipation. She also said that because an iron supplement can cause constipation, I should make sure my diet has lotsa fiber. She also instructed me to take the iron supplement at a different time than when I take my prenatal vitamin and not to take it with any dairy food/products because that can inhibit my body's absorbtion of the iron nutrient.

I'm very happy that I passed the glucose test. Especially b/c my coworker was surprised that I wasn't instructed to take the test first thing in the morning on an empty stomach. From what I hear, sometimes what you eat can affect your results because it affects your blood sugar. I took the test late in the afternoon after a very starchy breakfast and lunch. I specifically asked my doctor and even called the advice nurse before the test and both said I dont need to alter my diet at all (but my doctor did recommend that I dont take the test right before eating a candy bar and drinking a soda). And I followed their instructions, ate typcially for me and voila, I passed. =) woohoo! Back to work tomorrow, but the good news is, DH comes home friday night for the weekend! =)

Crib came!

I order the crib on monday from Ama.zon, and it came on Thursday. Crazy! Who knew it'd arrive so fast? =) Too bad DH isn't here till next weekend to set it up. But I'm going to fly to visit him tonight and will be there till Tuesday! Yippee!! I'm so exited. I miss him and my doggy, even though I just sent them off on Monday as well. It'll be nice to see them and the rest of my family. I'm really looking forward to spending time with them all. =)

I take my blood glucose screening test today. I wont find out the results till my next PNA which is next week Wednesday. I really hope I pass. I asked the doctor whethere there was anything special I needed to be doing to prepare for it and she said no, just dont eat candy or drink soda right before the test. I attended a birthday BBQ for a friend last night and there were a TON of desserts, my pregnancy weakness. I hope that doesn't alter the results.

Yes, I'm big, thanks for letting me know.

Yesterday I got several comments about how big my tummy is getting. I dont mind it really, because I know that I'm doing my best to stay healthy and keep the weight gain under control. But c'mon, cut a girl some slack. lol. It's not so bad really. It's just making me a little self conscious. In pregnancy, I'm realizing that I definitely carry baby out. You know how some people carry around? Not me, I carry out.

I'm six months pregnant and last night someone said, wow, are you carrying twins? She also asked if I thought baby would wait 3 more months to come. lol. She's a sweet heart lady I dance with, so I know she meant no harm. But couple those comments with a comment from my coworkers who say I look the same size as my other coworker who is due 1 month ahead of me, and yup, I'm starting to feel pretty large. After making comments on my size, they all say, I look great and I'm just a taller (understood as "bigger") person than my coworker or friends who are or were pregnant, but still...I know I'm big, thanks for pointing it out.

So now I wonder, is baby boy just a big baby or am I just one of those people who are "big?" Who knows.

As long as baby is healthy, that's all that matters, I suppose.