13 months!

Kaua is 13 months old today. He is still as cute as ever. He is not walking and seems perfectly content to just cruise. He stands on his own more and more every day, but hasn't really tried to take any steps on his own. He can walk (very tentatively) when holding onto my hands though. It's high time I get him good shoes though. I have some cheapies from walmarta but they're not very bendy, so he has a hard time walking or doing anything with his feet in those.Poor guy was playing out in the yard yesterday when the hubsters and I were weeding and he got blister burns all on the tops of his toes from sraping the ground and cement when crawling. He eventually started crawling on his feet and hands, kinda like a bent over walk, b/c his feet were so sore. He was a champ though and didn't complain once, so of course I didn't notice the burns until it was too late. He didnt' even complain during bath when I washed his feet. I swear, this boy has a high tolerance for pain b/c he'll whack his head on a wall or somehting and it wont phase him. Though, this doesn't mean I want to test him either.

The boy is still a HUGE mommies boy and will wail at the top of his lungs when I leave the room. while this is endearing, this is also stressful, b/c I have to sneak away often or bring him with me whenever I leave the room.

and ofcourse, we haven't sleep trained him, so he STILL sleeps with us for half the night. He'll wake up screaming blood murder and I have to bring him into our bed and give him a bottle of milk to quiet him down. Ugh, talk about doing the things you're totally advised NOT to do in "the books". Yeah, "the book" says we need to get them to fall asleep on their own, in their crib, which totally doesn't happen. "the book" also says not to give them milk at night b/c it could rott their teeth (yup, I'm guilty of that too), and "the book" says to try not to pick them up in their cribs when they cry at night for you....(sorry, I totally pick him up and bring him in our room). So I know, I'm doomed to be one of those parents who has a 3 year old in bed with them. Who in the heck has the time or the energy to pull middle of the night contest of wills to train their kids to sleep on their own and not have a bottle? who???? All I know is, I'm in survival mode when it comes to getting Kaua to sleep and sleep well throughout the nite, so if he needs that bottle and to sleep with me in order for both of us to get some sleep, then so be it. One day I'll figure this "book method" out.....hopefully.

Well, it's official...we're pregnant - Again!

Yuppers,everything went A-ok at the doctor's today. Little baby #2 (need to come up with a niickname like two-bbers, B2, or something...) is measuring 8 weeks exactly. Doc said b/c baby is measuring so close to my LMP, which is 8 weeks 3 days, that he's going to keep my EDD as 8/5/11, instead of the ultrasound EDD which is 8/8/11. He said the ultra sound is plus or minus 1 week in accuracy and when the US is so close in time to LMP, the LMP is generally the more accurate. This logic sounds good to me since Kaua came 1.5 weeks early when we used the ultrasound EDD.

So doc did a vaginal ultrasound. When he put that thing in there, at first we didn't see much, but as he moved it around, you could totally see a little blob, and then soon after you saw a little flickering which was the heartbeat. Doc was pretty cool and turned the screen so that both of us could see exactly what he was seeing at the same time. (I hate when they keep the screen facing away from you and make you wait to see anything, what is up with the secrecy? It is my lady parts afterall!) Anyways, Doc showed me the head and measured from there to the tail to get my EDD. He also showed me the yolk sac which he said was looking normal. He also showed me what appeared to be a slight septate in my uterus, which I remember my old OBGYN (who did the surgery for the septate) said I would still have, but that it wouldn't cause any problems with pregnancies. This new doc, Dr. K (who I LOVE!! very cool down to earth local boy, did his med school and residency in Hawaii and is from my hometown), said it almost looked like it could have been a bicornate uterus. Way too technical for me, but I think that means when the uterus is heart shaped. Anyways, he took one picture (just one??) of bebe 2 and gave it to me. I'll need to upload it later to share. Bebe 2 looks like a little gummy bear so far.

I didn't really ask much questions, bc hello, I'm like a pro now that this is my 2nd kid. duh! When the nurse asked me if I had the WTEWE book, I was like, shah, yeah, I have them all!

I'm such a pro that when doc asked if I had questions, the only thing I asked was about the drugs. There are rumors that the local hospital (did I mention, the ONLY hospital on this island) does NOT do epidurals!!! WTF!? People give birth w/o epidurals nowadays????? You've got to be kidding me. But, Dr. K, tried to reassure me. He said, they do something similar to my beloved epi, but it wears off in 2-3 hours. I was like, hellow, my labor with Kaua was 10 hours and I needed the epidural for the whole time!!!! OMG...we need a back up plan!! But doc said,we could do the "other thing" (I forget what it's called) twice and they've recently been giving epidurals but it all depends on if the anesthesiologist is working or not. Dr. K also said he's had less complications with option #2, then with an epidural. I'm still not satisfied and am going to need to give birth elsewhere somehow.

Anyways, I digress....we'll figure this out later..in 7 months perhaps. Holy smokes a mommy of 2 in 7 months.....what the heck was I thinking?!!! Kaua is a handful on his own. I cant believe I'll have two of 'em in less than 1 year.

Doc said there's no cause for concern for me, so I dont see him again for 4 more weeks...or Jan. 26. The appt was pretty quick and then i went and did my labs,where they withdrew half the blood in my body. Hello do you really need 6 vials of blood??? geeze, what's the poor kid going to live on?

So I've decided I'm going to go the ever "original" route of telling people by making Kaua wear a "I'm going to be a big brother" t-shirt. I just ordered it from cafe.press today...but b/c I live in boonieville, it's not going to arrive here until after the new year. (and I even ordered it on the fast shipping track).

My tummy is already kinda showing, but if you dont know what to look for, you'd think I just kind of went overboard on the holiday eating (which I did). So I'm probably not going to go "live" with these posts until after I get the shirt and have had a chance to have him wear it around friends and family. I wonder how many people will get it right away? I'd probably be one of those people who dont even notice the writing on the shirt. Lol.

Anyways, so yup, operation, grow this baby #2 is underway.

Today is a big day!

Today is a big day. Not only is Kaua 13 months old, but we will find out for certain whether he is going to be a big brother come early August. My doctor's appointment is today, at 9:30am. Of course, we will have an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. My mind is filled with excitement and anxiety. There are two scenarios, both of which i have previously experienced that could happen. I could see a beautiful squirmy gummy bear on the ultrasound, complete with heartbeat, or I could see nothing, an empty uterus, or an empty sac. I've been trying not think about this day, and only think positive. On the one hand, I feel pregnant. I've had some nausea, my nipps are a little sensitve, I'm always tired, my tummy is a little bloated, and I havent had AF since the end of October. On the other hand, I feel normal, the nausea is rare, the nipps haven't been sensitive until very recentily, the tiredness could just be lazy, the bloated tummy could be too much holiday eating, and just because AF doesn't come doesn't always mean you are preggos.

Well, I can only move forward. I will find out today what the deal is. I pray for God's grace and blessing.

Salty

This pregnancy I'm craving salty - McDonalds french fries (though I try not to give in to that one very often), sun flower seeds, li hing mui, pickled onions, preserved calamancines....salty, salty, salty. It's amazing how with Kaua I wanted sweet, but with this one, I want salt. Ok now, I'm going to go back to eating my pickled onions.

just past 7 weeks

It seems as if time is going by much quicker this pregnancy. Next monday, I will have an ultrasound which will determine whether this pregnancy is viable or not. While this pregnancy is a lot less anxiety filled compared to my first, i admit that there are brief moments of nerves. Most of the time, I feel completely normal and dont feel pregnant at all. On some occasions, i feel slight nausea. However, over the weekend, I began feeling real nausea. On Sunday, DH and I went to go check out a garage sale at about 10 am and on the drive back down, I felt soooooo sick. It was the most nauscious I've been in a while. Like a really bad hangover and you dont want to make any sudden moves or look anywhere. No throwing up, but definite feelings of gagginess. The other really big symptom I have is fatigue. i feel really tired often, like I dont have energy to do anything but lie around. The fatigue has sort of gotten in the way of our move into our new home, but thankfully, DH is stepping up and taking on the majority of the work. He also let me take a much needed nap on the weekend by taking kaua for a walk and pretty much doing lots of the house work. This fatigue is new to me. I dont remember feeling this tired with kaua.

On the telling people front, I've told two of my close friends about this pregnancy. One b/c she told me about another friend's pregnancy who will also be having their second child and whos due date is very very close to this EDD. Their first child is also 1.5 months younger than Kaua so I felt compelled to tell her due to the similarities and because we are so close. The other friend I told last night while at her birthday dinner at a bar, because I thought she would be astute and figure it out when i asked for that virgin drink. However, when I told her, she thought it was because I was still BFing and wouldn't have been none the wiser if I didn't say anything. The good news is both of these girls know my history, have children of their own, and know what its like to not really want to share the news until you confirm the pregnancy with the doctor.

I'm a little worried about how my Christmas eve will go. We'll be spending it with my side of the family that are drinkers and know me as a drinker, and while i've been able to get away with not drinking on two other occasions, i think they'll figure it out on Christmas eve when its been the 3rd time we've been together and I haven't been drinking. Part of me is thinking I should just fess up and say what I've been saying to my two friends, -- that I missed my period, I could be pregnant, but I dont know yet b/c I haven't gone to the doctors. That's actually the truth.

Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but i do think it'll look pretty weird if I fake drink on Christmas eve, only to announce a week or so later that I'm pregnant. Uh oh, kaua is up....gotta go get him.

Apples!

Thanks for the support about kaua's walking, or lack thereof. He is about 8 days shy of being 13 months old and still no walking. He is able to put pressure on his feet (flat), but is not confident enough in his balance. He'll take tentative steps (on flat feet) while holding onto something, but walking still doesn't seem to be in the very immediate horizon. Still not worried at all about him though and am enjoying this loveable little boy.

Today, he at an apple for the first time. This is his first grown up fruit that he's eaten. You all know that Kaua is a finicky eater. He's definitely a meat and rice kinda boy and its been tough getting him to eat his fruits and veggies. He does eat baby food fruits, so that's primarily how he's been getting those nutrients. I've consistently offered him regular people fruits, of many varieties and he's rejected them all, until today. Today, I was eating an apple and he started to show some interest. When he's interested in food that I'm eating, he'll literally climb into my lap and try to eat the food right out of my hand or off the plate. So when he showed interest in my apple, I broke off a tiny piece and put it in his mouth, fully expecting him to spit it back out like he normally does. But nope, he ate it and wanted more. Eventually, I let him take small bites right off the apple (not the skin parts of course) and he loved it. He kept eating and eating and eating. I've been so envious of others who's kids eat all kinds of healthy foods, but with Kaua it's been a chore, despite the fact that I love healthy foods and ate a lot of it through out my pregnancy. So I'm hoping this new trend of his apple loving sticks and am also hoping that his new openness to this fruit will lead to more. Veggies are still a challenge and I find that I have to hide veggies among his foods and pray he doesn't discover them, but heck, who knows, maybe one day I'll be eating something and he'll come right on up to me and want some and discover he loves it.

Does anyone notice that their child eats more when they are not in their high chair? Recently, Kaua has been much more receptive to food when he sees me or another adult eating and can come up to them and eat off their plate. I think it has something to do with him eating on his own terms and thinking that he's getting the same foods as everyone else, versus baby foods. He really does actually get the same foods as we do when in his high chair, but I dont think he's figured it out. For now, I'm perfectly happy to let him eat off my plate, as long as he eats. Kaua is really into drinking milk, and would be perfectly happy with drinking milk most of the day rather than eating solids if I let him (which of course i dont).

Another newer characteristic of Kaua is he's starting to learn how to throw tantrums. They are not full force, like I'm sure they will be when he's closer to two, but he definitely know how to whine, arch his back, flop down onto the floor and cry when he's not getting his way. And he does this fairly often now. I'm sooooooooooo not looking forward to the terrible twos! I'm trying to find the balance between providing him comfort but not reinforcing this behavior with rewards or my attention. Gosh, parenting is so hard! And to think it only gets harder!

Can you train a walker?

I dont think you can train a kid to walk. but yesterday at a family party, a family member of mine seemed a littel surprised that Kaua wasn't walking. So as she took him around, she tried to get him to walk and noticed that he still walks on his toes. She pointed this out to me and acted as if I need to start training him to walk. Ummmm, I'm not a doctor, but I dont think that's how it works. Granted, you have to give your kid the opportunity to practice standing and walking, which Kaua gets plenty of, trust me, but I dont think you can force a kid to walk by training him to walk. I could be wrong though, so if anyone has heard of success in this department, please share.

According to Kaua's pediatrician, he'll walk when he's ready. She wasn't concerned at all that he's not walking and neither am I. I walked at 15 months and she said she walked at 16 months, and we think we did pretty good for ourselves being a lawyer and a doctor.

Anyone else have later walkers? (which I dont think 12 months - Kaua's age - is a late walker yet).

6 week symptom update

I'm a little over 6 weeks pregnant and have felt like I haven't had much symptoms. I think I've been feeing slight nausea early in the mornings and sometimes in the middle of the night, but nothing to really fret over. If I didn't know I was pregnant, I wouldn't even notice it. So, I decided to peruse over my posts from the same time in my pregnancy with Kaua. Back then, I was feeling nausea, constipation and sore nipples. So far, the bbs are just fine, but I forgot about constipation. I think I'm having a slight case of that too. Nothing super noticeable, but now that I think about it, I didn't have much in the way of toilet production both yesterday and today, despite feeling like I had to go. So I guess I can chalk that up as a pregnancy symptom. I'm not sure if I'm more tired than usual. I feel tired, but what mom of a 1 year old doesn't feel tired? lol...so not sure if that counts.

I've been having a couple strange dreams over the past week. I've already dreamt twice that I had a miscarriage. Once I dreamt that my period came and I wasn't that sad about it because I wasn't quite ready for #2, but last night I dreamt that I had a miscarriage and you could actually see a tiny little baby (gross, I know). I was abit more bummed about that in my dream because as the days pass, the idea of this child is growing on me. So when I woke up, I was glad it was just a dream. I wonder if these dreams are just my subconcious way of expressing my anxiety. I mean, I feel fairly confident that there is going to be a healthy baby in 9 months, but still, I will not feel 100% until we have our first ultrasound and see everything is going smoothly.

I just received a questionnaire packet in the mail from my doctors about this pregnancy. Although I have Kaiser, I have a different clinic since we moved, and I guess they mail out a questionnaire packet for the expectant mom to fill out. It asks bizarre questions like "Do you think you'll have a problem staying off drugs and alcohol during your pregnancy?" or "Have you been raped since your last period?" It's actually kind of sad that such questions need to be asked. I filled them out. And also read some of the info pamphlets they provided. I was reminded that I'm not supposed to eat large tuna fish (what we call ahi) in quantities over 6oz in 1-2 weeks due to the potentially high mercury contamination. Ooopsie, I forgot and had some at a christmas party the other night. Guess we have to cut that out! ugh. No caffeine, no alcohol, no fish...no fun for me during the holidays. lol.

I think I have 16 more days till the ultra sound. While that seems like very long, I know it'll come in no time. I just POAS again, for fun, since the internet cheapie tests I have are expired and will be no good any other pregnancy. The Test line showed up first and was much more darker than the control line. While that doesn't tell me much other than I have a very high HCG count right now, it was reassuring to see. Cant wait to have that first ultrasound appointment!

Doctor's Appt made

Ok, so I made my first doctor's appointment. They dont want to see me until I'm closer to 8 or 9 weeks and according to my LMP, I'm exactly 5 weeks today. So my appointment is for December 27, 2010 at 9:30 a.m. I requested to see the OB one of my hula sisters is seeing. She said he's good, and I like that. So with that said, we wont be able to confirm this pregnancy until then.

I did take another internet cheapie HPT yesterday AM and it was still positive. But I did notice that they expired last month...so you never know. But today was the last day I should have expected my AF and so far she's a no show.

I'm still alternating between excitement about this pregnancy and anxiety. Anxiety more so that I'm not sure if we're ready for round 2. Anxiety that our plans to travel in September are now going be canceled. I cant take a 1 month old child traveling and there's no way we'd leave this baby at home. Ugh.

I'm still counting my blessings and ever thankful to the Lord for this tiny miracle though. It's all meant to happen for a reason.

BFP #2!

here begins my series of posts that I wont post until I'm ready to go public with this news.

Today is Wed. Dec. 1, 2010.

We're pregnant, again!!! I just took a HPT, at about 7:30pm tonite, and the second line was there. Slightly lighter than the control line, but there none-the-less. My immediate reaction was surprise then anxiety then excitement. I briefly contemplated not telling DH right away and trying to save it as a X-mas gift/surprise, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hold this news in for 24 days. So I told him, "want the good news?" or the "not so good news?" He asked for the not so good news, and I told him "that we're going to have another baby." He said, and what's the good news and I told him the same thing. lol. to me, having a baby is both. dont get me wrong, I'm ecstatic and realize that I'm very very very very blessed and want nothing more than to have a 2nd healthy child. But at the same time, I'm terrified. Two kids? I feel like I was just pregnant! I just gave birth! I still have a baby! How can I take care of two! Kaua is handful enough! If i weren't already 31, I would have wanted to wait a bit before having our 2nd because I would have loved to have given Kaua more of our sole attention for longer. But since I'm no spring chicken, and we weren't sure how long it would take us to get pregnant again, we started trying soon.

And by trying, I mean, not really "trying" as in we didn't do what we did before -- the temperature taking thing. Instead, I just counted the days between periods (which I must say I only had 3!!!) and estimated when I ovulated and we tried to BD around this date. I guess it worked!! So techiically, we were trying, but by my standards that wasn't. I didn't even know when my EDD would have been until I plugged in the date of my last period into a calculator. According to that, my EDD is Aug. 5. That is my MIL's birthday and the day before mine! Holy smokes. I cannot believe this is happening so fast!

Of course, I cannot jump the gun. I of all people know how precarious the 1st T is, so we will not be sharing the news until the 2T, or as close to it as we can get w/o someone figuring it out. Which I'm sure someone will. I'm a drinker....people will notice when I'm not.

And here we are to the reasons for me wanting to post...to record my journey, my symptoms, my thoughts. My first inclination that I could be preggo was when, after Kaua's party, I wasn't interested in drinking, like the beer just didn't taste good to me. I remember having that feeling when I was in my early pregnancy for Kaua. My next potential inkling was when on mon. I had a huge huge backache and felt queasy. Like I couldn't finish my lunch, which is unusual for me. I also felt so tired and exhausted at the end of the day, I skipped the gym. I almost thought I was coming down with the flu. Today, Wed., I'm still having slight achiness in my ute, which feel very very similar to period cramps, but again, I remember feeling the same with Kaua. I also am having extra discharge, which i remember with Kaua as well. finally, I couldn't stand the wait anymore (I was planning to test at the end of the week, when I think my period is due) and took a HPT. And yup, we're preggo.

We'll see how the upcoming days enfold, but we're excited, albeit differently than the last time. I want to surprise everyone else by having kaua where the timeless traditional "big brother" t-shirt. I guess if all goes well, I'll call to make a doctor's appointment in the next few weeks. First thing though,i'll go get some prenatal vitamins. For now, my daily vitamins with folate should suffice.

thinking postive and thanking God for our second little miracle!

happy birthday kaua

It's been a while, i admit it. My blogging has slowly decreased as kaua has gotten older. I still do follow a lot of my bloggy buddies, but rarely comment, so just know that I am reading.

kaua turned 1 on Saturday and we had a huge party. it was a ton of fun and a huge success, but boy am i glad that is over! Way too much planning, especially on a holiday weekend. I've decided that from now on, kaua's birthday parties will be held the following weekend, because thanksgiving weekend is just too crazy to have a birthday party. Or at least going to stores.

On that note, my little guy is still not walking, but that's fine by me. he is able to stand on his own, but does so only on the off chance that he doesn't realize he's doing it (like when his hands are full with a toy). He hasn't tried to take his own steps yet and we're not sure when he'll be doing that. I'm not worried and neither is his pediatrician. I didn't walk till I was 15 months and i turned out ok, so we're not concerned about kaua.

We've got the ok to switch him to cow's milk, but since we have a can of formula, we're going to finish that off (most of it) and then start him on milk. I've also got thoughts about weaning him from the bottle, but likely to sippy cups. I know the "books" say to just use cups, but seriously, who has time to clean up after that mess? I also need to start letting Kaua self feed with a spoon or fork, but again, who has time to clean up after that mess? There are so many "book" rules that I'm finding dont have to be strictly adhered to.

Speaking of books, I'm thinking of picking up the WTE the Toddler years. Any comments on it or thoughts? I like having a "book" reference, even if I dont follow it all the time. They do have very useful tips.


We're just about finishing up our home purchasing process. Our estimated closing date is Friday Dec. 10 and we cant wait to get in to our own place!