BFP #2!

here begins my series of posts that I wont post until I'm ready to go public with this news.

Today is Wed. Dec. 1, 2010.

We're pregnant, again!!! I just took a HPT, at about 7:30pm tonite, and the second line was there. Slightly lighter than the control line, but there none-the-less. My immediate reaction was surprise then anxiety then excitement. I briefly contemplated not telling DH right away and trying to save it as a X-mas gift/surprise, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hold this news in for 24 days. So I told him, "want the good news?" or the "not so good news?" He asked for the not so good news, and I told him "that we're going to have another baby." He said, and what's the good news and I told him the same thing. lol. to me, having a baby is both. dont get me wrong, I'm ecstatic and realize that I'm very very very very blessed and want nothing more than to have a 2nd healthy child. But at the same time, I'm terrified. Two kids? I feel like I was just pregnant! I just gave birth! I still have a baby! How can I take care of two! Kaua is handful enough! If i weren't already 31, I would have wanted to wait a bit before having our 2nd because I would have loved to have given Kaua more of our sole attention for longer. But since I'm no spring chicken, and we weren't sure how long it would take us to get pregnant again, we started trying soon.

And by trying, I mean, not really "trying" as in we didn't do what we did before -- the temperature taking thing. Instead, I just counted the days between periods (which I must say I only had 3!!!) and estimated when I ovulated and we tried to BD around this date. I guess it worked!! So techiically, we were trying, but by my standards that wasn't. I didn't even know when my EDD would have been until I plugged in the date of my last period into a calculator. According to that, my EDD is Aug. 5. That is my MIL's birthday and the day before mine! Holy smokes. I cannot believe this is happening so fast!

Of course, I cannot jump the gun. I of all people know how precarious the 1st T is, so we will not be sharing the news until the 2T, or as close to it as we can get w/o someone figuring it out. Which I'm sure someone will. I'm a drinker....people will notice when I'm not.

And here we are to the reasons for me wanting to post...to record my journey, my symptoms, my thoughts. My first inclination that I could be preggo was when, after Kaua's party, I wasn't interested in drinking, like the beer just didn't taste good to me. I remember having that feeling when I was in my early pregnancy for Kaua. My next potential inkling was when on mon. I had a huge huge backache and felt queasy. Like I couldn't finish my lunch, which is unusual for me. I also felt so tired and exhausted at the end of the day, I skipped the gym. I almost thought I was coming down with the flu. Today, Wed., I'm still having slight achiness in my ute, which feel very very similar to period cramps, but again, I remember feeling the same with Kaua. I also am having extra discharge, which i remember with Kaua as well. finally, I couldn't stand the wait anymore (I was planning to test at the end of the week, when I think my period is due) and took a HPT. And yup, we're preggo.

We'll see how the upcoming days enfold, but we're excited, albeit differently than the last time. I want to surprise everyone else by having kaua where the timeless traditional "big brother" t-shirt. I guess if all goes well, I'll call to make a doctor's appointment in the next few weeks. First thing though,i'll go get some prenatal vitamins. For now, my daily vitamins with folate should suffice.

thinking postive and thanking God for our second little miracle!

AF is due tomorrow (3/24)

And I'm still holding out on testing again. I've resolved to not test until Wednesday (3/25) or maybe even later if I can stand it. It's a little tough, but I think I'd rather wait till AF is overdue instead of seeing a disappointing BFN. I'm not going to lie, there's a large part of me that hopes I'm wrong and my temperatures are just being wacky. However, if I wake up tomorrow and my temp drops more, I'll be almost certain that she's on her way.

Symptom update (which I really think should be called looming AF update): I feel crampy (with occasional actual sharp cramps), backachy and my BBs are not sensitive or tender at all. I also feel light headed once in a while, especially before meals when my stomach is empty. Strange? A little. A product of my wistful thinking? Most likely. We'll see what we see....and as another virtual pal put it, if AF does show, this round can be chalked up as a practice round and next cycle is the real thing.

Overall, I'm feeling better about things. I could be experiencing CD1 on a whole new cycle tomorrow! =)

And the cramping begins

8 DPO

I thought I was experiencing light cramping the past couple of days. And when I say light, I mean, you're-probably-imagining-it-you-desparate-baby-wanting-lady kinda cramps. This morning, I think I graduated to the ok-maybe-just-maybe-there-could-be-some-activity-down-there-but-dont-get-too-excited cramps. However, this afternoon, hold the phone, I have real, actual, bonified cramps. Even a sharp very noticable twang. Nothing to bend over howling about, but yup, real AF-like cramps. In my first pregnancy, I remember having cramps around the time AF was going to show...just like this.....I'm really really hoping that this means I'm pregnant. Because generally, I didn't have cramps pre-AF when she did show (w/o the aid of BCPs which was for all of three cycles not counting those MC cycles). We'll know in a matter of days I guess, wont we?

I believe I receive!