Breasfeeding nostolgia

I'm planning on weaning Ho'ea from breast feeding and have just started the process today.  He is only 9 months old. I'm doing it earlier than usual because in a little over 1 month, I will be going on a 4 day trip without him for a hula competition and I know that I will not have the time (or the desire) to be pumping every three hours while away.  Not to mention, he is very dependent upon the breast at night, and to help alleviate the stress on his sitter (my mom), it would be best if he was already weaned before then.

BUT, I'm feeling very sad and reluctant that I'm going to be stopping the breast feeding.  Granted, there will be many benefits to stopping, all of which I'm looking forward to, but I can't help but feel sad that this will likely be the last time I'll be breast feeding....ever.  I don't think we have it in us to have another baby.  Our hands are so full with the two boys, I could not imagine another one.  Neither could we financially afford it as well.  So with that said, Ho'ea will very likely be our last.  And everything I do with him, will be...the last time...sigh.

Do I have a lifetime of nostolgia associated with all of Ho'ea's milestones to look forward to? (the last child to breast feed, the last child to go to school, the last child to graduate, the last child to go to college...etc.).

Haven't posted in a photo in a while.  Here is a picture of the boys, taken yesterday, Ho'ea age 9 mos. and Kaua age 2 (almost 2.5).  We celebrated DH's birthday by staying at a hotel that had a really cool kids pool area.  The kids had sooo much fun!

Brothers

Kaua is 2 years old (26 mos, if you're counting) and Ho'ea is 6 mos old (in this picture) which was taken 1 month ago today. (I have better more recent pictures, but there still in my camera)

Kaua milestones

- potty training! He's just starting to ask to go shishi in the potty and actually goes! However, he is not consistent, but has been going at least every other day. So that's a start.

- he is asking to fall asleep in his bed (previously, we'd just let him fall asleep wherever we were, typically the living room). Kinda nice b/c we haven't really instilled a bedtime routine, so it's nice that he's doing it on his own. Again, he is not consistent yet, but it's a start.

- more talking! Losta words and sentences, though 50% of it is only decipherable to close family. Super cute though.

- continued interest in trucks, fire trucks, garbage trucks and anything construction related.

- remembers promises I make to him. Yesterday, I told him he had to get a haircut before he could get on the plane (we are going off island on Friday). He did it, then asked when we got home, where the airplane was. I had to explain that the airplane ride would not be until Friday, 5 more days from now. I dont think he quite understood.

Ho'ea milestones:

-3 teeth - all on the bottom and crooked. Looks like he's taking after mama and will need braces.

- rolling over as a means of getting around. Not crawling yet, but rolling seems to be his mode of transportation.

- grabbing and lunging for items. He knows what he wants and knows that he can now grab things and reach/lunge for items out of his reach. Beware if you're holding a drink or food in your hand, he'll get it!

- sitting up on his own. Just started getting really good at sitting up on his own, but I still like to be near by, just incase, because he does topple over from time to time.

- still not sleeping through the night, ever since his eczema...but we're trying to get back on track. He's had a few good nights (sleeping 5-6 hours at a time) but for the most part he'll get up 1 or 2x. boooooo.

- eczema is managed! hooray! He still has it, but we've seemed to keep it maintained, so that he's not constantly scratching. He does still scratch though. His neck, back of ears and scalp seem to be the most itchy, but the visually noticable areas are the creases in his arms (front of elbows) and knee areas. He also occassionally itches near his groin and mid section area. Vaseline is the only lubricant we can use, along with medicated hydracortisone for flare ups.

- using the walker as another mode of transportation. He finally understands that he can walk around in the baby walker. He gets stuck on furniture or uneven flooring from time to time, but for the most part, he can travel on our wooden floor in the walker.

-eats stage 2 baby foods. I've been meaning to make my own foods, but just cant seem to motivate. It's just soo darn convenient to buy premade baby foods. People say it gets pricey, but I love the combinations that gerber providers (ie. apple vanilla with granola grain, harvest vegetables, blueberry apple, corn and sweetpotatoes, etc). It just seems like too much effort to buy all those ingredients, blend them together, freeze them, store them, unfreeze, etc. And it's not really pricey when you can buy two containers of each flavor for just over $1, sometimes $1.50-$1.60. Ho'ea barely finishes one container per day, so it's not much in the squeam (how do you spell skeam?) of things...$30/month, if that? We're waiting till he can crawl before we start introducing table foods...b/c once you go real food, he'll probably never want that healthy baby food stuff.

- loves watching his big brother and playing with him. Ho'ea gets a kick out of anything Kaua does and you can already see his big brother envy/idolism. It's endearing to see them interact.

Lonely

Wow, it's been over a month since I last blogged, maybe even 2 months! Ho'ea is now 4 months old, and Kaua is 2! Here are pictures of the two brothers.

I'm writing because I'm feeling a little sorry for myself, and needing a place or outlet to vent. (Commencing pity party...)

Ever since moving back to my hometown with my hubby, we've had a difficult time adjusting. Part of it was because we had a baby (now we have 2) and were adjusting to being parents and not putting our wants first, but a very large part of it was because we left most (if not all) of our friends. I thought that in time, we would make new friends, or re-acquaint with old friends, and continue to lead the very active social life that we left behind. But here we are, going on 2 years now, and we have not yet found friends like we had or reconnvened a full social calendar like we used to have.

I'm not sure if it's because we are parents now and we just haven't had the opportunities to make friends, or if its myself and my husband that are some how inadequate, or if its because this place is a small town and people have already established their groups and dont need "extra" friends. A lot of the friends I had in high school are still here, and we do get together on occasion, but social events are extremely few and far between, and many of my friends are in different stages of their lives (ie. they had children much younger than we did, so they're doing sporting events etc with their pre-adolescent/teen kids) so we have not a lot of ground to connect with or bond over.

Anyways, hubby and I just have not quite gotten into our groove socially. Our social activities primarily revolve around events with my family, and while these are often and usually fun, we still miss our own "adult" time. There are times when even my family has their own things going on, and on nights like tonight, when DH is away at work, it's just me and the boys. As I type right now, I'm enjoying my 2nd beer while my 2 year old, Kaua, watches xmas cartoons and my 4 month old, Ho'ea sleeps. It's quite nice, actually, with my xmas tree and lights going, but I do miss having someone to hang with that is an adult once in a while.

I'm not sure if things would be drastically different if we hadn't moved, (meaning our social lives still would have probably declined due to kid obligations), but I do know that we both had several groups of friends who were also having children the same time that we did, so it would have been nice to have these friends to "commiserate" with, socialize with, etc.

Anyways, I'm not sure if there is an answer to this post. I do know that each of us are our own masters of our happiness, and if something isn't making us happy, then we should go out and do something about it...and I'm actually trying to do just that..(ie. joining an activity group)....I'm just not sure if I'm seeing any results. (I do admit that I am sort of quiet and shy at my chosen activity group -- hula-- but only because I'm not quite the most talented hula dancer, and so I find that my insecurity in dancing transcends into having a shy personna as well.)

With that being said, I wonder if all parents find the adjustmet from constant social outings to stay-at-home mommy/daddy a bit lonely, or if what I'm feeling is more unique, especially since my motherhood came just 2 weeks prior to a large move?

4 weeks old and job rejection

Wow, time is flying by. Ho'ea is now 4 weeks old. I haven't yet posted a picture, so here is a couple we took when he was just 10 days old. (he is much more chunkier now.)

Here is one of the two brothers also taken around the same time.

(yes, we have to cut Kaua's hair, but that boy will not let anyone go near his hair with a sissors!)

Things have been tough with two little ones at home. Sleep is a luxury, well at least, free time is. The boys are both very needy, and I find that I'm always having to tend to one or the other. Thank God for family or I'd be going insane. Though I think sometimes, I'm on the brink of it.

Ho'ea is a "grunter." He is pretty gassy and seems to have difficulty burping and passing gas. He doesn't really cry, just grunts when he is uncomfortable, which is often. He'll burp after a feeding, then we put him down, then 10 minutes later, will need to be picked back up to burp again. This will cause him to then want to eat again, so we do the whole cycle all over. Sometimes we cant get him to burp and he'll spit up. It's exhausting! I'm glad my husbad had 1 month of paternity leave because he's been a huge help.

Ho'ea also eats a lot!! He'll nurse frequently during the day, but thankfully only 2x late at night. (12am and 4am usually). So, he is much more chunkier than Kaua was, especially in the cheeks, which has earned him the nicknames of "bombucha", "fatso", and "chunky monkey". He weighed 9 lbs 2 oz. at his 2 week exam. I'm sure he'll weigh a lot more at his 2 month exam. I remember being sad that Kaua didn't have those cute baby fat rolls that are common with infants. But Ho'ea will definitely have those. He's already starting to get "cankles."

Speaking of paternity leave, DH goes back to work on Sunday. How am I going to cope the nights alone? I swear, if its not one kid crying, its the next. I'm definitely in for a challenge and will need to master the art of moving around while i'm breast feeding. And I'll probably have to kiss good bye any sleep that I thought I may be having.

Kaua is definitely in his terrible two stage (although he wont be 2 for another 3 months). He has mastered the art of throwing huge tantrums, and it's very tough to get him out of them. He will scream and wail and cry with the best of 'em and is very difficult to dissuade once he decides he is going to throw one. I feel bad for our neighbors. They must think we are horrible parents the way Kaua will throw fits each night. On a positive note, he did go pee in the potty for the first time this past week, but we haven't been able to duplicate that again. Kaua is reluctant to want to sit on the potty, and when we do get him on, he rarely does go. But on one occassion, we got him to sit long enough (with the allure of Elmo utube videos on the itouch), he went pee! It was a momentous occassion, but one that we haven't seen again. I guess in time it will come.

As for my maternity leave. I didn't really have one. Since I'm working part time, I only get paid when I work. In my line of work, I have tons of deadlines, so I agreed to do a project due during my "supposed 1 month leave" to help pay some bills, and because it was a project I had already started and was thinking I was near completion. Of course, when I go to turn it in, my boss adds on more work to it, and of course, I have to do it. Then he brazenly asks me if I have time to do another one, and again, it's for a case that I've also been working on, so I reluctantly agree. These projects have been huge and have had me pretty much working my full (parttime) schedule of 20 hours per week anyways. Now that its September (well tomorrow it will be) I was planning to return to my full (parttime) schedule anyways, so I pretty much didn't have much of a leave. It works out though because I only work 2 full days a week at the office and can work from home for any other time I want to, so technically, going "back" to work doesn't really mean much time away from the kids.

Speaking of work, while I was in the hospital giving birth, I got a call for an interview for a county position that I had been eyeing since I moved here. I interviewed and did really well. I almost thought the job was mine the way things were going. The down fall was that it was for a full time position and the fact that I just had a baby wasn't helping things. However, I just got the call today and was told that while I was of the top two candidates for the position, I got beat out by someone who had slightly more experience and enthusiasm for a portion of the job responsibilities (which I was honest about during the interview and explained that that wasn't my forte or my preference). I was told that had I had more interest in that particular job responsibility, the job would have been mine. (oh well, I'm glad I was honest, because I would hate for them to think I loved doing that task, when I sooo do not). I was also told that they want to keep my resume on file and that if another position opens up, they want to offer it to me because they want me on their team. I was also told some other nice things, which helped to soften the blow of being pretty much rejected. I'm not sure if another position will open up, but I'm hoping. My family says this is for the best because having to work full time (while the boost in pay and benefits would have been awesome) would have been very trying for me at this time in my life. Plus I would have struggled with the work schedule. But I admit, I'm seriously bummed about not getting the job, even though i do agree that the timing wasn't right.

On that note, I better go tend to the little one. the big one is napping, which allows me to type away (a luxury that I'm rarely afforded nowadays), but I can hear the little one giving DH some grief (in the form of grunting). It's probably time to go feed the chipmunk, again. (hey a new nick name!)

Our First Pumpkin Patch

This was our first pumpkin patch experience. Here in small townville, the pumpkin patch isn't anything special, but still we had tons of fun. We went as a family and brought my two nephews ages 6 and 4 along. The boys had sooooo much fun. The pumpkin in Kaua's hand is the pumpkin we picked out to take home. My nephew picked out a small white pumpkin that looks like someone dropped it because half of it is squished in. But that's the one my nephew wanted so that's the one he got. It definitely has character.

In other news, Kaua is going to be ELEVEN months old tomorrow and Gosh, where does the time go? We are in full blast party planning mode here because, in Hawaii, the first year celebration is a big deal. We're having a typical baby lu'au. My family is making the food, kalua pig, lomi salmon, my favorite - luau stew, chicken long rice and possibly poi. My brother is doing the pupus (appetizers) and since I'm a beer drinker, I'm ordering a keg. I've hired a really good (so I've heard) children's magician and am in the midst of hiring a spray on tattoo artist. I gotta get started on the slideshow which will document Kaua's life. I'm also possibly going to dance a hula. The theme is Hawaiian rainforest because Kaua is named after the rain in our old home town. It's going to be fun, but man, party planning is soo not my favorite.

Also new on our radar is house hunting. We have found a great fixer upper in a great neighborhood here and it's a FSBO (for sale by owner) which means the price is great too. It's our first time working without realtors so it is a little unnerving, but I'm confident that we can do it. The seller seems just as wary and both of us our educated so together we'll make it happen. The great thing is he's motivated to sell and he's not into making tons of money, so he's been pretty easy to negotiate with. We may be in escrow by the end of the week and hopefully in our own home in a couple months, but I dont want to jinx it, so enough on that.

And we come to the NIGHTS! Like I've posted before, I'm trying to wean Kaua off the boobie so that he's completely boobie free by 1. I've pretty much got it down to no breastfeeding during the day and only at night. This past week, we've been trying to cutdown at night too and man-oh-man is he soooo not having any of that. He has really come to rely on breastfeeding himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night, and when he isn't able to, he throws a fit. Like full on top of your lung screaming. And he wakes up, A LOT. It's really sucky. Really. I've given him bottles and after the 3rd night of screaming or so, he'll finally take it, and wow, can he drink. The night before last he drank 12 oz at night! last night, I couldn't deal with it. It had been 7 nights in a row of THE HORROR and I gave in and let him nurse. Let me tell you, a whole heck of a lot less screaming and crying, but still, he got up a ton. Ugh, ugh, ugh. i have never been so sleep deprived before. This is way more difficult than when he was a newborn.

Anyways, yup, being a mommy is hard. Hard, hard, hard. But it's all worth it, because that little rugrat. He's priceless.

9 months update

This post is a week or so late in coming but Kaua is 9 months old now! He weighs approximately 21 pounds and is 29 inches long. He's 75th percentile for height and 50th for weight. This has been the trend for the past two visits now, so he's been staying pretty constant.

This past pedi appointment, there were no vaccinations...you're thinking yay, no needles?! Yeah right!!! He had to get a TB skin test, which wasn't so bad AND a blood draw. Again, if it had been just a needle, it wouldn't have been so bad, but the nurse wasn't able to locate a vein in the usual spot in his arms, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo she had to nick his finger tip and DRAIN THE BLOOD MANUALLY (think: squeeze his finger/hand so that blood dripped down and out) and fill TWO VIALS! OMG!!! Talk about traumatic (for me mostly, not him). He was a trooper for the nick in the finger and for a little bit of the blood dripping, but she had to squeeze his finger and hand for at least 1-2 minutes to get enough blood to fill the vials and boy oh boy the poor baby was screaming and trying to yank his hand away. I normally sing to him to keep him distracted and I clearly remember going through several stanzas of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Old MacDonald Had A Farm before she was through. It took sheer will power to keep my voice steady and not break out into tears. And I had to go through this all on my own, DH was at work for this appointment (Had I Known It was going to be BLOOD LETTING, I would have made sure he was off). But anyways, moving on.

The little goober is sure getting an attitude. He will definitely let me know what he wants and doesn't want and is starting to see if throwing a fit will help achieve his goal. These fits include tears, screaming, back arching and general difficultness. I've decided that when he gets like this (for no reason, b/c sometimes he does have a legitimate need), I simply put him down on the floor and let him continue on throwing a fit. I'm trying to find the happy medium between meeting his needs and letting him know that this type of behavior is not acceptable and not the proper way to get what he wants. Of course, he is JUST nine months old, so I'm not sure how much of my explanations are getting through to him, but I console myself by thinking that "at least I'm trying and one day he will understand what I'm saying."

On the tooth front, he's got 1 tooth on top and a 4TH tooth coming in on the bottom (5 toots total now). =) He still dislikes most baby foods and is still a finicky solid foods eater. He likes yogurt, crackers, noodles, bread and rice with gravy/sauce on it. We try to sneak in baby foods filled with veggies and fruits into these starches so that he gets the nutrients that his body needs to grow. But feeding time is still a challenge.

ON the mobility front, he's still army crawling, though we have seen him crawl on his hands and knees. He just seems to prefer his old faithful method of traveling. He can pull up well and has been starting to cruise, but still cant get himself back down without plopping down. He hasn't stood on his own (without support of furniture or a person) yet. He can clap and we're working on teaching him bye-bye. He likes to copy certain sounds we make, one of the most funniest being the sound "ah" one would say after eating or drinking. Super funny.

It's been a while since I've posted a picture of the goober boy, so here are a couple.

Gummy bear no more!

So yesterday, my little guy did this:

He stood up on his own. He's still not crawling (but trying really hard to army crawl!), but he's very very into standing up. So sometimes, I'll prop him up on the couch so he can watch the "action" in the kitchen. He's been feeling really sturdy lately, so I decided to let him go and he was able to balance himself standing up for a short time. I made DH run to get the camera to capture the moment. (Of course I'm there to catch him should he fall, hence my hand in the picture.)

And TODAY, my little gummy bear is no longer.......his first tooth is just barely poking through! I've been feeling his gums for what seems like months now, expecting a tooth and nothing. I was beginning to think he'd be a gummy bear for life. But nope, this morning, I discovered a change in his gums. We've got a little tooth! You can barely see it (when you get a very short lived glimpse into Kaua's mouth), but it's coming! I'm excited, but at the same time nostolgic. This is the end of an era. I wonder if his whole life will be like this....excited that he's making it to the next milestone, but nostoligc that my little boy is growing up. I'm a little surprised he's toothing. He didn't seem more fussy than normal, but then again, when I think about it, he has been a little whiny lately. I had just chalked it up to him becoming more needy of me. Maybe it was the tooth?

Summer is going well. We're having TONS of fun doing outdoor activities. Going to the beach or the pool on a weekly basis at least. Lotsa travel plans too. We already did one short trip and are doing two more over the next month interisland. Still on the job hunt, but am not letting that damper our fun!

And now for more cutie patootie photos:

7 months!

Wow, I just wrote a super long post and lost it. =(

The abbreviated version: Kaua is 7 months old! We took him to the beach on this day and he enjoyed playing in the tide pools.

Kaua is starting to eat his solids more. Not quite the amounts I would prefer, because one website said I should increase his solids intake to 1/4 to 1/2 cup per day (I'm lucky of I get him to eat 1/2-1 jar per day if that), but at least its not torture for him to eat. We can pretty much get him to open his mouth for the 1st bite, and maybe the next 2 or 3, but that's about it. He eats about 1/3 of a jar per feeding, so just about 1 jar of food per day. We do mix his foods up though, varying it between fruits, vegetables and a meat mixture. He seems to enjoy these mixtures, like sweet potato and turkey, or mixed vegetables, or banana peach and granola. And because he doesn't like his rice cereal as much, i try to mix in a little in his bottle, just to make sure he gets those nutrients as well. And speaking of bottles, I typically supplement his diet with 1 bottle of formula a day. I still have a decent supply of breast milk, but there are times when he just wants a little more, so rather than waste a whole bottle of breast milk, I simply give him 2 oz. of formula. It's good because I am really considering weaning him from me, and I want him to be uber comfortable to the bottle and formula. I still dont know how I'm going to wean him off nursing in order to fall asleep though. He's really content with sucking himself to sleep, and no matter how often I give him the pacifier, he just spits it out and cries until I give him my breast. Ugh! I'm just praying that like with everything, he'll just figure it out on his own....

Still no teeth yet, though he did wake up screaming a ton of times last night which got me to researching on Dr. Google, and most of the concensus is that he is either teething or has an earache. I dont think he has the ear ache, but I'll monitor him just the same.

He' getting more and more coordinated in his reaching for things, figuring things out and movements, but still no crawling. It's amazing to see him grow and mature! Super excited to see him as a little boy, but trying to cherish every moment when he is this young and cuddly. His smiles sure do light up a room though!

He is also becoming a big opihi. always looking for me, wanting to be in my line of sight, and crying for me to hold him when I'm around. I think he's getting to used to me staying home and being around. And speaking of, I've got two job leads, but they both would be a career change for me and a big decrease in pay. DH says I should take one of them (if I'm offered the positions, still just interviewing), because he thinks I'll be happier, but I'm not so sure that I'm ready for a career change. I have been advised that I could always try one of them out, and if I dont like it go back to my old career...and perhaps I'll do just that. I just hate to leave my employer in a bind by letting them hire me, invest their time in me, only for me to quit shortly thereafter. I would, however, on principle, try to stick it out for a minimum time period as well as let them have time to find my replacement....hmmm, decisions, decisions.

Check out this cutie patootie picture of Kaua wearing a Lakers hat!

6 mos old, sitting up, & the ocean

Kaua turned six months old on Thursday, May 27. Can you believe it? He is half a year old, and half way to turning 1 year old. OMG, I have so much planning to do for his birthday party!!

But the coolest news is 3 days later, on May 30, he sat up on his own for the first time! Well, we had been working on it for about 1 week now. He'd sit up, but only for a few seconds at a time before toppling over. But on that day, I sat him up and stood behind him to catch him, and he didn't fall...well, not for very long. I told DH to come help me watch him while I grabbed the camera and video camera and recorded away. He lasted about 20 something seconds before listing to the side! That's awesome!

I know that crawling is just a few days if not a couple weeks away now. He is already pulling himself around while on his tummy, sort of inching his way towards something, and he sure knows how to roll himself around. You can set him down somewhere, and he sure as heck will not be in that spot in a few minutes. He's so much more exploratory -- always wanting to look around and touch things. Whenever I carry him, my necklaces, earrings, and hair are fair game, so of course, I've been sans jewlery and putting my hair up. He's becoming stranger fearful, but will warm up to strangers if we sit and talk for a while.

And two days ago, on June 1, we took him to the beach where he took his first dip in the ocean! We have taken him to the beach before, but the water/weathe wasn't always the greatest, but now that its summer, it's beach city! He was reluctant at first, you could tell he was unfamiliar with the sensation of being surrounded by water (I dont give him baths, just showers), and the temperature of the water was new (he's only been in warm water), but eventually, after he realized he could splash with his hands he loosened up a little. I dont think I'd call him overly joyed and laughing, but he definitely tolerated it for a while. I had my flip video camera to capture the moment, but of course, i ran out of batteries, just as soon as we get him into the water. But, I did have my regular camera and captured some of those kodak moments for you to see.
On the job front, unfortunately, my firm cannot afford me. Thus, I'm now in a hunt for a new job while this firm figures out its finances (regardless whether they could afford me, I'd been thinking of looking for a new job anyways). But sadly, that puts our house hunt on hold and hence more living with my mom and squished together in 1 room. =( DH and I really miss our old home with all that room and privacy!

I'm still here!

Hello bloggy buddies.

It's been a while since my last post (a little over 1 week). Just been plowing along with life.

Kaua has had a cold for over 4 weeks now! We took him to the doctors when he first had the cold (April 28) and again on Tuesday (May 18) and basically we've been told that its not serious, there's nothing we can really give him to help it pass, and to just let it run its course. It's been somewhat miserable at night when he wakes himself up coughing, but other than that, he seems to be a happy camper. His cough is pretty bad though. When his congestion was really bad, we'd have to prop him up in his car seat in his crib. Like so....

(Too funny his pose, he's actually sleeping like this. When we walked into the room and saw this, we had to snap a picture).

Luckily, the congestion is getting better, but that darn cough is still there. We've been rubbing Vi.cks on his chest and back in hopes that it'll help, but nope, not much luck there. Poor guy.

In eating news, nope, we still dont have the sprouts of any teeth yet, but we are expanding his food repetoire (sp?). We've went from rice cereal and poi, to squash, peas and today carrots. I had all these big designs to make his food myself, but right now, I just cant find the time to do it...so we're feeding him Earth's Best organic baby firsts from Whole Foods. So easy to just buy the jar and pop it open. He seems to like all the foods we've introduced so far. It's kinda cute when we introduce a new food to him, he shudders and it appears as if he doesn't like the food, but then he'll happily chomp away. He's finishing about 1/3 of a baby food jar in one sitting. He seems to be hungry fairly often (looking at my food when I eat it and showing interest in it), so we've just begun feeding him baby food or rice cereal 3x a day. He eats every time! I've also been feeding him small sips of water from a cup or glass and occassionally when we're on the go, a sippy cup. I read somewhere that getting a child used to a cup or glass now is better than a sippy cup, because at this age they're still maleable to anything. If we get him too accustomed to a nipple or sippy cup, he may not transition to a big boy cup as easily. Ah, whatever, I think I use a regular cup with him because i'm too lazy to go get a sippy cup for him and just give him sips from the water I'm drinking.

I've begun contemplating weaning him off breastmilk. On the one hand, it's just so time consuming and demanding to be pumping every 3 hours or to be present to breast feed him. I really do plan my life around pumping or breast feeding, and I'd love to have the luxury of not having it be that way. But on the other hand, I'm cheap and dont want to spend the money on formula and am worried I'd be taking away any additional health benefits that Kaua may get from my breast milk. DH wants me to continue breast feeding, but only because he read somewhere that its good for Kaua. I will at least do some research as to whether it really makes a difference to breast feed or formula feed your baby after he is six months old. For some reason, I feel as if I read that breast feeding for 6 months is ideal, and after that it doesn't really matter. (but I could just be making that up).

The little guy is about 18 lbs now (17 lbs, 9 oz) and wears size 6-9 month clothing exclusively and some 12 month clothing. He'll be 6 months old on May 27! Half a year away to his first birthday party!

In milestone news, we're working on having him sit by himself unsupported. He can sit pretty well on the couch:

But sitting on his own without any back support is still iffy. He can sit ok, but someone needs to be there to make sure he doesn't topple forward or backward or to the side. It's quite funny really. He's still not a crawler. He doesn't even get up on all fours when on his tummy and I'm not sure how to show him how to do it. He does roll from front to back and vice versa pretty regularly, and sometimes it drives me bananas because when he's sleeping with us, he ALWAYS rolls himself all the way over to me, crowding me on the bed, no matter how often I move him away, he somehow finds his way back to me. And usually, it's his feet or hands that are digging into me. He also loves to be held so that he can stand on his legs. I've heard of babies going directly from back/tummy to standing on their own (skipping the crawling stage) and I wonder if that will be Kaua. One thing is for sure, when he starts to move, we're going to have to baby proof the house. (Hopefully it'll be a house of DH and my own...we're in the market to buy again!)

His bed time is between 7pm and 8pm usually and he takes either two long naps during the day (approximately 1-2 hours) or if there's too much noise and his naps are disturbed, he'll take three cat naps throughout the day. He gets up at the God-awful hours of 5am-6am daily! On the rare occasion, when he gets up before 5am and wants to play, I can sometimes get him to fall back asleep in half an hour and he'll then sleep until about 7 am and that's what I call "sleeping in!" So as you can see, these kind of hours really take a toll on any night life I'd like to have (like I have any option of having a night life....at my new/old hometown, there is nil in the way of nightlife).

Well, that's all in the news of Kaua-chronicles. I hope everyone else is doing well out there!

Sleep Training Saga...

Well there's good news and not so good news (well it's all good news in my book, but anyway).

1) The sleep training was successful. Sorta. After the 2nd night (after my last post where Kaua took over 1 hour to sleep, then finally went down with grandma's help), he slept all the way till 3 am then got up to nurse. And man oh man, were my boobies soooooorrrreee from all that waiting! The 3rd night, Kaua went to sleep after only 15 MINUTES!!! AND on top of that, ONLY 7 MINUTES of those 15 were actually crying minutes. The rest were just fussing minutes. AND the 4th night, psshh, my professional sleeper fell asleep after ONLY 7 MINUTES OF JUST FUSSING --- NO CRYING! Whew pat myself on the back, huh?

2) ok, here's the bad news. Since then, we haven't been able to sleep train because our schedules have been such that we haven't been home around Kaua's sleep times, so he's had to fall asleep either in his carseat, or in my arms after nursing, etc. So all that loveliness.....is out the door. We try again.

3) and here's more bad news. Even though the ST was going well on nights 3 and 4, Kaua still got up more often through out the night. Before he was 3 months old, he'd only get up 1 or 2 a night to nurse. But lately, and even on nights 3 and 4 of the ST, he's been getting up four or five times a night. He'll get up once before 12 am and about every 2-3 hours thereafter. It's insane! I read that sometimes, babies just kinda fuss, then go back to sleep, so I should wait it out for a few minutes to see if he's actually up...and yup, each time he is.

So what has all this getting up in the middle of the night business led to? more CO-SLEEPING! Ugh. I know, I know. I'm a bad mommy. But who the heck wants to get up 4-5x a night, sit up, nurse their baby, then wait 10-20 minutes for him to fall back asleep and pray that when you put him in his crib he doesn't get back up? Not me! So when he first gets up? I bring him right into our bed, pop that old booby out, he nurses, and we both fall asleep. It's bliss..till he gets up in 2 hours wanting to nurse all over again!

Ugh!

So tonight I'm trying a different approach. We've added rice cereal to his meal repetoire (spelling?). I know, its a smidge early (he'll be 4 months old on Saturday)...but I think he's ready. He's huge, probably over 16 pounds by now and in 6 month old clothes already. He's eating like crazy and I think he's ready. I also know that feeding rice cereal isn't a cure all for sleeping through the night, but I think in this case, it could help. We'll see. I only added a tiny spoonful to breast milk tonight, to see how his tummy would take it. He chomped it up like a champ, not even batting an eyelash when sucking down the bottle, and fell asleep shortly thereafter on the carride home, so I think we're doing ok in that department. The test will be to see how many times he gets up tonight.


If he does well, we'll slowly increase the amount and go back to the sleep training. I'll work on the co-sleeping thing sometime in between all of these big plans......

3 months old and now that I'm a mom...

This post has been rattling around my head for a while now, but I am now only getting the chance to write about it.

Now that I'm a mom....I view the world in a different light. For instance, when I'm watching tv and I see any scene with parents in it, especially moms, I really connect with it. Like when I watch reality tv shows and I see the moms cheering on their kids, with such pride in their faces if their kid makes it, or such agony when their child doesn't, something just resonnates with me. It's like, I can connect with other women out there who are moms, and I can just imagine the same joy or agony that I'd have if I was in their position with respect to Kaua. Or when I see commercials, such as the olympics P&G commericals where they boast that they are the "proud sponsor of moms", I get warm fuzzy feelings inside and feel as if the commercial is speaking to me. It's surreal, because I've seen these same types of commericals or scenes prior to Kaua being born, and I wouldn't have even thought twice about them, but now that I'm a mom....everything is different.

I know my DH feels the same; when we see news reports of parents abusing children or other horrible things happening to children our paternal intincts kick in and we cringe at the thought that anything bad should happen to our son. We comment that we feel so thankful that nothing has happened and feel so grateful for his health. (In fact, every night, I say a prayer thanking God for Kaua and my husband and asking that he keep them safe, happy, healthy and successful for their entire lives and my entire life.)

I know that many of you other mommies feel the same, because I've read similar posts before. But now I can say, I know what it's like, and I know what you mean. Being a mom makes everything so different.

And in closing, here is my little man, who is exactly 3 months old today.

He's doing tummy time. As you can see, he still isn't super great at holding himself up, but we're trying and practice makes perfect. He has recently been able to somehow move himself around while on his back. He kicks so much with his legs that he is able to inch worm his way around on his playmats while on his back. He moves so much that he created two little knots in the back of his hair that I had to cut out! And of course, he's still as handsome and perfect as ever in my eyes.

12 weeks old and droolin'

My handsome boy made 12 weeks old on Friday. He's getting so big, that we've started putting him in 6 month old clothes!!! (But I think that for this outfit, the sizes are just running small, because really, 6 month old clothes? He's not even a full 3 months yet!)

And lately, he's been such the drooler. We've had to keep him in bibs or his clothes would be all wet. I think this means he's getting to the age where he's learning about new things by putting it in his mouth and therefore, his mouth is preparing for all of that tasting he's about to do by making extra saliva.

Also on the newest milestone agenda - Kaua is reaching for his toys.....although he's not very good at it. He's just learning how to grip his toys. For the most part, I have to put the toy up to his hand and sometimes, he'll get a finger or two around it. Then once he has the toy in hand, he'll try to get the toy to his mouth, but usually, he loses it along the way towards his mouth. And most of the time, when he does get the toy into his hand, he doesn't even realize he's got something in his hand. But its all adorable to me, nonetheless.

It's so amazing to see him learning new things! However, I'm still waiting for him to roll over. He seems quite content to just stay on his back and hasn't really progressed much during his tummy time, despite the number of times we put him on his tummy. Ah well, each baby progresses at his own pace.

Lately, he's also been saying "mum, mum, mum." which to me sounds a lot like "mom, mom, mom" and of course, I tease DH to no end saying he's calling me. I dont think he really knows that he's saying mom, but it's a start! DH was at first a little jealous and has been trying to teach Kaua, da-da-da, but it's not working. But DH has found a way to turn it around on me by saying that every time Kaua cries, he's calling me (because he does say "mum, mum, mum" mostly when he's irratated or crying) and then hands over the whining baby for me to comfort. Uh-oh, I wonder if this could be the beginning of the trend where the crying turns into nagging for mommy?

As for my life, I'm still a stay at home mom and am starting to feel a bit guilty about not contributing to our finances. I've made a promise to myself to really start applying and looking for jobs come March, right after we take a neighbor island trip to visit with friends and go to a wedding....

Happy Valentines Day

(11 weeks old)

Kaua will give Daddy his first valentines day card ever tomorrow. It says..Daddy, you know what makes spending time with you so special? You do! (or something like that...I'm reciting it from memory). Kaua also bought Daddy the chocolate Reese's heart. One of daddy's favorite candies.





Tomorrow on V-day, I'm spending the first half of valentines day getting CPR certified. The class is offered for free by the American Heart Association. I think it's an adult CPR certification class, but I'm hoping that they'll at least tell us about infant CPR (the main reason why I want to go). DH isn't coming along, because he is already certified through his job.





Then DH and I are not sure what we're doing for the rest of V-day. We're actually planning on celebrating next weekend at a luxury hotel here on our island. His fire department recruit class is having a graduation luncheon at the hotel, then we're staying the night! It'll be Kaua's first hotel stay. This hotel has awesome pools and slides and jacuzzis and pool bars (though mommy will have to be sober..it's ok, i'm getting used to it). There will also be the beautiful beach right next door. Not sure how we'll handle this all with an almost 3 month old, but it'll work. We're so looking forward to this mini stay-cation.

Hope your valentines day's are extra special!

Superbowl Sunday Money

Kaua won $50 at the Super Bowl today.

See how excited he is?!? lol.

37 weeks

37 weeks today! Here's the belly photo.



I'm still 40.25".

I had my first weekly PNA this past week, and I saw Nurse Wonderful. She's still wonderful. =) But I lost 2 lbs since my prior appt and she was a little concerned. She said I've only gained 9lbs since 27 weeks. I think overall my weight gain is still good - 29lbs and my belly measurements are still right on track. But she said now is the time I should be gaining some weight b/c baby needs all the fat he can get. I chalk up the weight loss to the work hours I've been putting in. I've been working like crazy and therefore have not had time to blog or catch up on blogs at all. On top of that, I've been dealing with our house being in escrow (yay!) and of course, having a baby! Whew! But I'm handling it all in stride, and I'm doing ok. I've been trying to make sure I eat three square meals each day, and now I'm trying to make sure I have a snack in between each meal. That should do it. Who knows though, I may just be one of those people that gain all their weight in the beginning of the pregnancy.

I asked her to see if she could estimate how big the baby was at that appointment and she said he's about 6lbs. She said if I go all the way to 40 weeks, she'd guess he'd be born at 7.5 to 8 lbs. Sounds good to me! =) I'm soooo ready for him to come now, but I think he'll probably wait till it gets closer to the DD. He's still head down and will likely stay that way for birth. Good boy!

I've got one more baby shower next weekend, and I'm excited for it. It'll be with all of my friends. =) Despite having one more baby shower, I couldn't help but get some of the things I still needed this weekend when I returned that expensive BRU bed set (I did keep the receipts though, just incase I need to return stuff). I picked up the baby monitor we wanted (the Sony 900), a changing table cover, a mattress pad, some baby detergent (so I can start washing baby's clothes and sheets), some Avent bottles, a bottle warmer (so daddy can feed Kaua breast milk too) and some baby beenies (how much do you think I'll need of those? I didn't know I already had 3, and I bought 3 more to make 6...too much??? We'll be moving to a colder area soon, so I want to be sure baby is warm). I still want to get a couple crib sheets and one or two sheet savers, but that'll be for the next go round. After getting that, and the breast pump and sling/carrier I'm hoping to get from the baby shower (I know, I sound presumptuous dont I?), I think we'll be as ready as we can be for Kaua to come. woohoo, I'm excited!!! 3 more weeks to go, and hopefully less than that. If my DD comes and goes without Kaua's appearance, I'm going to go crazy!

I'm planning to talk to the boss that's been giving me all this work on Monday to let her know that I'd like to scale back my work the week of November 30 since that's the week of my DD, and I think she'll be understanding. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that when I told another boss about my not so concrete situation with moving and escrow (if escrow goes well, we move out 12/22, if not, then no moveout date as of yet) and the possibility that my last day of work may be the day I give birth, he was very supportive. He said not to worry, just let them know when I know for sure, and not to worry about medical insurance because they'll be prepaying for that month anyways. =) I was worried that they would want a more definite date (I cant give them one until all of the escrow dates where the buyer can pull out have passed - so far we passed the C-52 inspection, but the biggie is whether the appraisal will come in at the price the buyers' are paying which will enable them to get their financing with their lender!), but he was very understanding. I'm really really glad I work for this firm and I'm sad to be leaving (somewhat sad at least). I know I'm not cutout to do this line of work because I'm too much of a nice guy and my feelings get hurt when I deal with a-holes that come in this line of work. I do know that if I was to continue working in this profession, my plan would always be to work for this firm. I look at my leaving the firm as a way to explore a new career, something that I'll enjoy doing every day.

Anyways, last but not least, my DH and I are celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary this weekend (the date was actually on the 10th but DH was out of town. And you know what I just realized, that means that this is the 1 year anniversary of this blog as well, b/c I remember my first entry on this blog was on our wedding anniverary, so happy blogoversary to me too! My how things have changed from that day to this!). DH and I exchanged gifts last night - cotton - he bought me a very cute sweater/top from the town where he is stationed at (in a size for when I'm back to my regular prepregnancy shape, which I hope will be soon, I miss my cute clothes!) , and I bought him boxer shorts with embroidery on it that says "Property of B MoM" as well as an Itouch armband for him to use when he's working out. (Obviously since money is tight, our budget for gifts is minimal). Tonight we're going to a nice dinner which will be our first since we've been pregnant!, and we're realizing that this will also be the last time as just the two of us. Next weekend he'll be working out of town, and the weekend after that is Thanksgiving and my mom will be here, and the weekend after that, we expect to be a trio!! Craziness to think of it that way!

Oh and p.s. - here's the picture of the walmart bedding that we got for about 1/3 of the price as the BRU bedding:




I think we did pretty good for 1/3 the price!!! And that's the first toy/stuffed animal I ever bought for Kaua - a firefighter wish-bear, just like his daddy. =)

it's been a while! 35-36 weeks

It's been a while since I last posted! I'm now 36 weeks pregnant and considered full term! Just 4 more weeks till D day, though I wish it could be sooner. A lot has been going on for me, and sadly, I haven't had a chance to post about it because my work is killing me. I'm sooooo looking forward to the day I give birth, in large part because I'll be done working. I'll be done working because...our house is in escrow!!!! We received two offers in the two weeks that we've put it on the market and we countered one of them to get the price we wanted, and they accepted yesterday!!! If all goes well, which we'll have to pray about, our closing date will be December 22!!!! I'll be home for Christmas!!! Crazy! I'm not even sure how I'm going to tell my work, or what that means for maternity leave, medical, my christmas work bonus, etc (but I'm going to worry about that one day at a time).

Now, on to baby stuff. First, my dad bought and shipped over our car seat!!! It looks great and yesterday, my DH installed the base into our car (now that was interesting, but we've got it done, so we're good).



This is a Graco Snug Ride 32 car seat and I've chosen these colors so that if (and I'm hoping when) we have baby #2 (who I'm praying will be a girl), it'll be color neutral enough. I've of course, also chosen the carseat b/c it accomodates infants who are 32 lbs and 32 inches long, so Kaua should be able to use this hopefully till he's 1 year old. Sometimes, when babies are big, they outgrow their carseat before they turn 1, and the recommendation is that infants stay rear facing until they are 1.

Yesterday, DH and I had our hospital tour. It wasn't much, but we at least got to see where we need to go when its time and the facilities are pretty nice. The wing is fairly new at our hospital, so there's a lot of nice amenities and upgrades from the old L&D wing.

I've also flew back home for my mom's baby shower last weekend. It was so nice to be back home and be near my doggie! We had such a good time and I got tons of stuff that we'll need, and tons of stuff we dont need, but it's the thought that counts right? Luckily, we've been able to return a lot of the big ticket items we dont need, so I can (and have been) using the store credits to get stuff we do need.

I've solved the bedding dilemma and bought a different bedding from WAlmart for much less than the exhorbitant BRU price. I dont have a picture yet, but I will go take one now and upload it during my next posting. During this trip home, I really visualized DH and I actually living there, and I could do it. It was nice. On my previous trip home, I was worried about moving there because I felt like it would be too slow for us compared to the city we live in now....but over this trip, because we were all there, my doggie was there, and we spent a lot of time with family, it reminded me of why we were moving home, and I was happy. It'll be quite an adjustment, moving back in with mom, but we'll do it. And the goal will be to save up enough money over the next few years to buy again!

And finally, a pregnancy update. New on the pregnancy front are Braxton Hicks. I've been having at least 1 or 2 a day. Usually more. They're not sore, and they're super infrequent, but they're there. I can tell I'm having one b/c my tummy feels tight and I can see the outline of baby boy a little more in my tummy (like two huge bumps in the middle of my belly).

During my appointment last week, the doc had to do a vaginal strep culture. Since he was down there, he did an internal check to see if I was dilated or effaced, and nope, none of the above. =( Looks like baby is still going to keep cooking. Bab was head down and in the right position so that's the good news. Doc was also happy because he said he wants baby not to come until anytime after today. But man oh man, is this last month the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE! I'm a little swollen in my feet, but not much. But the backache has stepped up and the RLP has stepped up considerably. It's really really uncomfortable to get up from sitting positions or lying positions. It even hurts a lot sometimes when I'm walking. Baby boy's kicks are distracting at times, but that's nothing new. And of course, I'm getting huger and huger, which makes me feel so blah......I dont even want to take maternity photos anymore b/c of how big and bloated I look and feel. Pregnancy glow?? Not me! But the good news is we're now considered full term, so whenever baby boy is ready to come out into this world, he'll do fine. I'm ready for him now!!!

Here are my 35 and 36 week photos:





As of today, my circumfrence is 40.25 inches.

34 weeks and crib bedding

Alrighty, we're down another week! Just 6 more to go till D-Day (due date) and one more to go till Mom's baby shower.


Here's the latest belly photo and I'm measuring at 40" even. (Doesn't the growing ever stop???)




Newest (well not that new, but totally on my mind today) pregnancy symptom is crazy baby bladder urges. I can literally feel him moving around in my belly and stomping on my bladder and man, it feels sore. I really feel like I have to go to the bathroom immediately, and I when I go, there's not much coming out. It drives me crazy! His movements are so strong now. I'm definitely getting to that point where I'm ready to have him out soon (though I know I'll yearn for the peace I have now once he comes).

Also update on the house situation - we got our photographs taken today and our house will be listed Tuesday morning (which means its officially on the market)! These first few weeks will be the MOST important in terms of getting offers. I pray pray pray that we get offered our listing price or more. I found out from my neighbor that he also plans to list his place for sale in the next few weeks! Ack! I told him to please wait b/c I dont want him under cutting our price (which I think he'll do b/c he has more equity than we do and can afford it). For now, I'm not going to worry about it. It's in God's hands. All I can do is think positive and pray for the best.

Also, as I was perusing Babies R Us today, I did a potentially silly impulse purchase. I saw that a 6 piece crib bedding set similar to the one we had registered for was on clearance for $139 (regular price $189), and the matching mobile was on sale for $30 (regular $49). (Silly me, I see the "clearance" sign and I automatically think it's a great deal and that I should get it before I miss the chance.)

I brought it home and set it up (w/o the window valence b/c it wont work for the type of blinds in our nursery) and I like it. But after talking to my mom and a friend, I'm realizing that it may still be a bit pricey, especially if I'm not going to actually be using the quilt for a long long time (due to the SIDS risk) and the window valence. I'm thinking I should return it and look elsewhere for more bargains.....especially since money is super tight right now for us. I did ask, they'll accept a return withing 90 days as long as I have the original receipt and the original packaging.





What'd everyone else do for crib bedding? Or what do you think, keepers or return? My heart is not super set on the pattern/theme, so I dont mind getting another one.

30 weeks!!

Yay, I've completed 30 weeks of pregnancy! Just 10 more weeks to go until Kaua. Craziness! I really feel as if the third trimester is flying by. Not so much as in a blink and I'm done, but much more quicker than the 2nd trimester. 10 weeks is still a lot more to go, but it's crazy to think that in just over two months, our lives will change forever. We'll be welcoming our first child into the world. How blessed is that?

Here's my 30 week belly photo and I lost a 3/4 of an inch since wednesday and measure 39 inches exactly. You can even see the difference in my girth from last Sunday to this Sunday. I dont feel as if the baby got smaller, I just feel as if I lost some of that extra chubs. I'll monitor my measurements over the week and ask my doc about it at my next appointment if my weight doesn't go up (which I admit could be a nice thing).



Things are probably going to go rapidly from here. The months of October and November are going to be busy in terms of holidays and baby showers. I've started a countdown till my baby shower (with my mom) on my side bar. I'm excited for that for a number of reasons, one of them being I get to go home and see my doggie! I miss him. Last night DH flew back to prepare for his first day at work at his new station. He said our doggie is doing well with my grandparents. His coat is looking shiny and he seems very happy. Of course, he recognized my DH and was ecstatic. I hope he doesn't forget me!

On the pregnancy front, things are still going well. My back and body are aching a teeny bit more, but not much. Yesterday, DH and I walked on the beach for exercise and the beach had a bit of a slope to it. My hips hurt from walking on the slope and I knew it was because I'm carrying about 20 lbs extra weight. We also went for a dip in the ocean and when I was walking out of the water, I could feel the immediate difference between the weightless feeling while swimming and the weight of my belly as I walked out of the water. It really put into perspective what it's like for my back and body to carry around this extra weight. My next PNA appointment (already!) is this friday, so we'll see how the weight gain is. I hope its not much! Another intersting (and possibly not a good thing) is I'm having food confusion (well that's what I call it). I find that I'm hungry, but dont know what to eat. Nothing sounds very appealing. In most of my 2nd trimester, any and all food sounded yummy. Now, I have a hard time deciding what I want to eat and that frustrates me (which in turn then frustrates hubby). It's a crazy cycle.

Anyhow, I'm off to get a pedicure with a girlfriend today. A luxury I haven't had in several months due to monetary strains....but today, I feel like treating myself. Yippee!

29 week photo

Ok, this post is belated. I didn't get to it this weekend, and have been quite busy at work (when I usually post my blogs), so haven't had a chance to get to it. But wanted to share it:



I didn't get to measure myself on Sunday when I took the photo, but I measured myself today and I'm 39.75 inches! Yikes! That's huge!

I'm really really feeling big and I think I look really big too. I've been having the hubsters help me get up off the couch and stuff (it's kinda sad). I probably can get up by myself, but I just feel so big and cumbersome, that it's so much easier to have someone pull me up. I cant believe I've got 10.5 more weeks to grow!!

Cute thought for the day....found out my close friends were planning to throw me a surprise baby shower today. (Well, I found out about the surprise today, not that they were throwing me the shower today.) Another friend inadvertently let it slip. It's all good though. I'm happy I know about it b/c it makes planning for it so much easier and I wont be sad or feel weird at the thought that my friends "forgot about me." Which I know they wouldn't have forgotten, so I think I would have figured out a "surprise" was in store....I think. I really didn't know that it was coming....But anyways, I already feel excited for this baby shower and feel extremely touched that my friends wanted to try and surprise me with it.