4 weeks old and job rejection

Wow, time is flying by. Ho'ea is now 4 weeks old. I haven't yet posted a picture, so here is a couple we took when he was just 10 days old. (he is much more chunkier now.)

Here is one of the two brothers also taken around the same time.

(yes, we have to cut Kaua's hair, but that boy will not let anyone go near his hair with a sissors!)

Things have been tough with two little ones at home. Sleep is a luxury, well at least, free time is. The boys are both very needy, and I find that I'm always having to tend to one or the other. Thank God for family or I'd be going insane. Though I think sometimes, I'm on the brink of it.

Ho'ea is a "grunter." He is pretty gassy and seems to have difficulty burping and passing gas. He doesn't really cry, just grunts when he is uncomfortable, which is often. He'll burp after a feeding, then we put him down, then 10 minutes later, will need to be picked back up to burp again. This will cause him to then want to eat again, so we do the whole cycle all over. Sometimes we cant get him to burp and he'll spit up. It's exhausting! I'm glad my husbad had 1 month of paternity leave because he's been a huge help.

Ho'ea also eats a lot!! He'll nurse frequently during the day, but thankfully only 2x late at night. (12am and 4am usually). So, he is much more chunkier than Kaua was, especially in the cheeks, which has earned him the nicknames of "bombucha", "fatso", and "chunky monkey". He weighed 9 lbs 2 oz. at his 2 week exam. I'm sure he'll weigh a lot more at his 2 month exam. I remember being sad that Kaua didn't have those cute baby fat rolls that are common with infants. But Ho'ea will definitely have those. He's already starting to get "cankles."

Speaking of paternity leave, DH goes back to work on Sunday. How am I going to cope the nights alone? I swear, if its not one kid crying, its the next. I'm definitely in for a challenge and will need to master the art of moving around while i'm breast feeding. And I'll probably have to kiss good bye any sleep that I thought I may be having.

Kaua is definitely in his terrible two stage (although he wont be 2 for another 3 months). He has mastered the art of throwing huge tantrums, and it's very tough to get him out of them. He will scream and wail and cry with the best of 'em and is very difficult to dissuade once he decides he is going to throw one. I feel bad for our neighbors. They must think we are horrible parents the way Kaua will throw fits each night. On a positive note, he did go pee in the potty for the first time this past week, but we haven't been able to duplicate that again. Kaua is reluctant to want to sit on the potty, and when we do get him on, he rarely does go. But on one occassion, we got him to sit long enough (with the allure of Elmo utube videos on the itouch), he went pee! It was a momentous occassion, but one that we haven't seen again. I guess in time it will come.

As for my maternity leave. I didn't really have one. Since I'm working part time, I only get paid when I work. In my line of work, I have tons of deadlines, so I agreed to do a project due during my "supposed 1 month leave" to help pay some bills, and because it was a project I had already started and was thinking I was near completion. Of course, when I go to turn it in, my boss adds on more work to it, and of course, I have to do it. Then he brazenly asks me if I have time to do another one, and again, it's for a case that I've also been working on, so I reluctantly agree. These projects have been huge and have had me pretty much working my full (parttime) schedule of 20 hours per week anyways. Now that its September (well tomorrow it will be) I was planning to return to my full (parttime) schedule anyways, so I pretty much didn't have much of a leave. It works out though because I only work 2 full days a week at the office and can work from home for any other time I want to, so technically, going "back" to work doesn't really mean much time away from the kids.

Speaking of work, while I was in the hospital giving birth, I got a call for an interview for a county position that I had been eyeing since I moved here. I interviewed and did really well. I almost thought the job was mine the way things were going. The down fall was that it was for a full time position and the fact that I just had a baby wasn't helping things. However, I just got the call today and was told that while I was of the top two candidates for the position, I got beat out by someone who had slightly more experience and enthusiasm for a portion of the job responsibilities (which I was honest about during the interview and explained that that wasn't my forte or my preference). I was told that had I had more interest in that particular job responsibility, the job would have been mine. (oh well, I'm glad I was honest, because I would hate for them to think I loved doing that task, when I sooo do not). I was also told that they want to keep my resume on file and that if another position opens up, they want to offer it to me because they want me on their team. I was also told some other nice things, which helped to soften the blow of being pretty much rejected. I'm not sure if another position will open up, but I'm hoping. My family says this is for the best because having to work full time (while the boost in pay and benefits would have been awesome) would have been very trying for me at this time in my life. Plus I would have struggled with the work schedule. But I admit, I'm seriously bummed about not getting the job, even though i do agree that the timing wasn't right.

On that note, I better go tend to the little one. the big one is napping, which allows me to type away (a luxury that I'm rarely afforded nowadays), but I can hear the little one giving DH some grief (in the form of grunting). It's probably time to go feed the chipmunk, again. (hey a new nick name!)

Mommy of a new born, take 2.

Well being a mommy of a new born again, it's challenging. Rewarding as well, but also challenging, especially since I've now got a tornado of a toddler as well.

Even though it's only been 20 months since Kaua was a new born, I'm finding that I'm relearning some things. Such as the art of latching, breast feeding, burping, dealing with infant gas issues, sleepless nights, etc.

I also find myself comparing my experiences with Ho'ea and Kaua. Kaua was a much easier eater. With Ho'ea, he takes approximately 10 tries to get a good latch. That boy just does not want to open his mouth wide enough! Ho'ea also takes quite a while to burp, and sometimes does not burp, which then leads to spit ups or fussiness from the gas buildup. However, this time around, since I am a more experienced mom, I've got the feeding schedule down better, and am able to get Ho'ea to nurse from both breasts during 1 feeding (usually). This leads to a more satisfied tummy and hence, a longer sleep. With Kaua, and Ho'ea's first night home, I would let them nurse till satisfied on one breast only, which led to them falling a sleep, and not getting a fully tummy. Of course, they would be up in the next hour to nurse ("snack") again. I finally learned to limit the time of nursing on each breast and put a burp and diaper change in between each breast, to ensure he is not too full and up for the 2nd breast.

How Kaua is taking being an older brother? Well, he appears to really like his "baby." He always asks for him and wants to see him. He is, however, much, much, much more clingy to my DH. I think it's from a combination of DH being home more (he's taking 1 month of paternity leave) and me being less available for Kaua. While I'm enjoying the much needed break of having my "opihi" stuck to me always, it does make me nostolgic for those times when I was all that Kaua wanted. I do enjoy seeing the two buddies get along though. In fact, as I type this, the two are sitting outside in our garage, on beach chairs, waiting for the garbage truck to come by and take our garbage. Kaua is very facinated with the garbage truck and garbage cans. He calls the cans "wu tang" (or so it sounds like it).

To me, the most difficult part of this whole experience is Kaua. He is so active and inquisitive. He is ALWAYS getting into everything and doing things he is NOT supposed to be doing (going into the cupboards, taking things out he isn't supposed to, playing with electrical sockets or at least trying to, banging pots and pans around, trying to play with the baby - very roughly, etc.). Of course, these are all parts of his learning experience, but I swear, that boy does the opposite of what we ask him to, and he thinks it's funny, even though we've never given him reason to think so. Of course, Kaua will always be our first son, and we love him, but he definitely adds quite the challenge to raising children.

Ho'ea is growing, growing, growing. He has already outgrown the newborn diapers (those diapers wont hold in anything and we were constantly having to change his clothes and his blankets with each diaper wetting). He has also outgrown all of the newborn clothes (luckily we didn't have very much) and is wearing 0-3 month old clothes. He is now a little over 1 week old.

He is very much alert and active when up, but he also sleeps well too. He's got very long eyelashes and dark brown eyes, just like his brother. His black hair looks straight for now, but that was how Kaua's hair was in the beginning, but now his hair is curly. I will post a picture soon. We're planning to do our own baby photos sometime this weekend.

It's a..............

Another Boy!!!

My 2nd son, B.l.a.z.e. H.o'e.a.k.a.u.i.l.a ("Ho'ea") (middle name means "The Lightning Arrival") arrived in this world on Wednesday, August 3, 2011 at 9:19 p.m. It was a doozy of a labor and I did it without pain medication!!! (Although that was not my choice, he came so fast there was no time for the anesthesiologist to get to my room to give me pain meds!) I typed up my birth story my first night at the hospital, so I'm going to repaste it here:


Wednesday, Aug. 3, 2011 9:19 p.m. 7lbs 13 oz., 20 inches. Apgar 9/10.

Where to begin.

Well as of last week I began to very slowly lose my mucus plug. I noticed some mucus at about 4:30ish at work. I noticed more mucus throughout the following days, but it was never really very heavy. I also began having more increased braxton hicks contractions, but nothing that I thought were noteworthy.

As the days passed, and my due date of Friday, Aug. 5 slowly began approaching, I became more and more anxious. I had not gone past 39 weeks with Kaua, and had hoped that this pregnancy would be the same.

Mom and I did a lot of walking when we could. I ate pineapple and did other things to hopefully speed the pregnancy along. Nothing seemed to be working.

Over the weekend, and perhaps starting on Monday, I noticed that my braxton hicks contractions were getting a bit stronger, such that I felt some cramping at times, but again, nothing consistent and nothing that I thought compared with the pain I felt in my first labor.

Tuesday night, (last night), we had dinner at my Papa's house for my cousin's 22nd birthday. Again, I felt some discomfort, sort of like an acheyness, but nothing that I thought was notable. I was also fighting a slight cold that both DH and I had caught from Kaua.

At work that day, and even the prior thursday (I only work Tues. and Thurs. right now), I was getting anxious and had a hard time concentrating. I kept logging onto babycenter to read about symptoms of labor and other women on the board who were approaching their due date. I even googled the statistics about what week of the pregnancy was most common for women to give birth. I was satisfied when it appeared as of the larger percentage gave birth in their 40th week.

Wednesday morning, today, I had a doctor’s appointment at 10:15. The doctor I saw, Dr. A, checked me for the first time. I had been declining checks previously because I knew it would not make a difference. With Kaua, I was checked at my 38 week appointment, told I was barely 1 cm, had my mucus membrane stripped, but told that I would likely go full term. Kaua came either 2 or 3 days later. So I knew my cervix dilation was not a good indication of labor.

Anyway, Dr. A checked me and she said I was 3 cm dilated. Great news!!! I forgot to ask how much effacement I was though. She quickly did the cervix stripping and boy did that hurt. I remember saying “ow, ow, ow” then reverted to my lamaze class breathing. That helped. Dr. A answered some of my brief questions about a potential induction if I went past my due date, explaining that they would schedule me for another appointment in 1 week and if I hadn’t given birth by then, they would go ahead and schedule an induction. But she stressed that she didn’t think I would make it to the next appointment and that she thought I would be giving birth any day now. I hoped she was right, but from previous experience, didn’t put too much emphasis on it.

I was feeling disappointed around 4pm today when it appeared as if nothing was happening on the labor front. However, as 5 pm rolled around I began noticing that I felt achey. The braxton hicks (or so I thought) were coming fairly often, but I’d have to say not more then 5-10 minutes apart. DH and I had tickets to go see the local semi-pro baseball game that night and I really wanted to go, but because I was feeling so uncomfortable, I decided against it. I made the decision very last minute though. We went to the UPS customer service center to pick up a nursing cover I had ordered through the internet at 6pm, and I was having some contractions all throughout the trip to and back. I began timing them and they were coming about 5 minutes apart.

I called my mom and told her that we weren’t going to baseball and that I thought that tonight would be the night and asked if she could come pick up Kaua. At first she said she was going to go to the gym and then check on me afterwards, but as it became clear over the six o'clock hour that this was it, I called her back and asked her to come soon.

From about 7-8pm, my contractions were coming on a lot stronger and quicker. Averaging about 2-4 minutes apart and over 1 minute in duration (about 2 minutes). (As I typed this, he started crying so I picked him up out of the hospital bassinet and he stopped crying, guess he just wanted to be near mama. He also burped too, so that probably helped. He’s now in my arms as I type this on my notebook.) Anyways, DH and I were sort of frantically trying to get things together for the hospital. DH was trying to wash dishes and clean up from the fish dinner he had made (I didn’t have the appetite to eat it unfortuntely). I was trying to get last minute things we needed for the hospital and pack a bag for Kaua in case he was going to sleep upcountry at my moms. The contractions were pretty strong at this point and I didn’t seem to be having very much breaks in between them.

Mom finally came and got Kaua around 8pm. By then I was in major pain. She started telling me to labor as much as I could at home and blah blah blah, (a little too much bossiness). After she left, I tried to wait until a time in between contractions and called labor & delivery. I explained that I had been timing the contractions for the last 2 hours, and while the first hour was more inconsistent, the last hour had been fairly consistent at less than 5 minutes. As I was talking, the nurse noted that I sounded like I was in pain and said I should come into the emergency room to get checked. I asked if maybe I should try to tough it out longer, but she said I probably should just come in, just in case. (Boy am I glad I did).

DH was trying to load things into the car and I had a hard time even getting to the car myself. At one point, I was like no, I wanna stay on the couch, because it hurt so much to move. I was getting very little relief inbetween contractions. They felt like they were never ending. DH motivated me by saying that since it was our 2nd one, the baby could come fast, so I got up and went to the car.

We drove to the hospital which was only 10 minutes away and I was in major pain. DH asked if he should just drop me off or park the car and we walk in together and I was in so much agony so I yelled, “You think, I cant concentrate!”

He parked the car and we walked in. The room wasn’t crowded thankfully. They took one look at me and said “baby” and we both nodded yes. They asked if I wanted to walk and I said no, so they went to get me a wheelchair while I tried to check in. It must have been a little after 8:30pm. I was pretty useless at this point, so DH had to give them my card and ID and stuff. They had me sign some forms and I just scribbled. I would have signed anything at that point. They had DH go get a visitor’s pass and the nurse asked if I wanted to wait for him, and I was like “I don’t care.” So up to L&D we went. Luckily, DH was only a few seconds and he caught up to us before we could even reach the elevator.

They put me into L&D room 4 and the nurse checked me. She said I was at 5-6cm dilated and 100% effaced (my cervix was nice and soft). I asked for drugs right away, and she went to call the anesthesiologist. I also asked if I could have something now, but she said that it would be best if I waited since I was getting the intrathecal.

By then the contractions were awful. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything and really struggling to maintain my breathing, keep my eyes open and focus on anything. Everthing I did hurt like heck. I tried rolling onto my side, but that made it worse. I yelled and moaned at some points and begged the nurse to “help me." It had been about 15 minutes since she called the anesthesiologist and DH and I were getting anxious. The nurse tried to reassure me that she was on her way. I was in so much pain, nothing seemed to be helping. I was so sore, I began crying out during the contractions and said against my own better judgment, “I cant do this!” several times.

The nurse and DH tried to reassure me that I could, but nothing seemed to be helping. I guess the doctor heard me yelling, because she came in. Her name was Dr.B. They were finally going to give me some morphine to take the edge off, but she wanted to check me first. As soon as she checked me, she told the nurse, Ellen, in a frantic voice, “never mind, she’s fully dilated, she’s ready to push!” (it had only been about 15 minutes since the nurse said I was at 5-6cm). By then I was in so much pain, I didn’t care what the heck happened. I was aware that it was too late to get any medications and somewhat terrified of it, but my body just took over. As Dr. B and the nurse scrambled around the room trying to get their instruments, the doc told me to breath through the next contraction. I exclaimed back, “I have to push!” and she said ok, do it. DH held my right hand and I began pushing. I could feel the baby coming down and into my vaginal canal. With that first push, I’m pretty sure the baby crowned. I also remember feeling a poppin sensation and warm water gushing out.  My water bag broke on that push.  The doctor said just one or two more pushes and the baby would be here.

I pushed again, and kept pushing. The doctor again reassured me that baby was almost here and asked if I was still having a contraction. I didn’t know, all I knew was that I needed to push. So I pushed one more time and the baby’s head was out. I think I could feel the tearing (I tore in 2 spots, above and below), it was like a burning sensation, but with all the pain I had been enduring with the contractions, it all seemed to blend together. When the head was out, I didn’t see anything (I was in too much pain and there was no mirror), so don’t know if the baby had an umbilical cord wrapped around him or not, but they asked me to stop pushing, and I was able to briefly do so, but the urge to push came again. I pushed and the rest of his body came out and they said, “It’s a boy!” and put him on my chest.

He cried right away! He was all chubby and pink. He look very good and the nurse said he had an apgar scoreof 9/10. I was so exhausted and overwhelmed by the whole delivery I was sobbing with exhaustion and tears. From the time I checked in to the hospital and the time the baby came was only 40 MINUTES!!! Much more different than with Kaua. We didn’t have time to call anyone!

I got to hold the baby boy while they wiped him up and DH cut his umbilical cord. DH kept saying that I did so good and that I did it without drugs. I couldn’t believe it too!!! I’m glad it happened so fast, because it hurt like heck!!! I felt embarrassed at how much moaning and screaming I did, but thankfully, that was only for about 10 minutes and likely through only 3-4 contractions. After he came out, I told the nurse and the doc, "Yay, I'm not a bitch anymore!" They said no worries, it comes with the territory and they are used to it.

I delivered the placenta (which hurt a little too) and was shaking in awe and adrenaline. The doctor said that was pretty common for very fast deliveries because the adrenaline was still coursing through my veins with no where to go.

Now I sit in my post partum room. It is 12:47 am on August 4th. DH has gone home (hospital rules, only the mommy can stay, spouses/partners have to leave, WTF right?!). Mom had come after we gave birth and she also went home. I’m sharing the room with someone else who has the window. Oh well. (She ended up being someone I knew from grade school and soccer. She discharged the next day so I got the room all to myself the 2nd night).

Baby is in my arms, sleeping peacefully as I type this. I’m still kinda bleeding a lot and am supposed to monitor it myself. (I got a lot more pampered at the other hospital where I gave birth to Kaua…they do everything for you). Without DH here to help, I feel kind of limited. It’s hard to move around. I don’t even know how I’m going to sleep!!!

We’ve got some major brainstorming to do tomorrow. We still haven’t picked out an official name, although, I’m pretty sure his first name will be B.l.a.z.e. DH gets to come back at 8am. We made arrangements for Mom to watch Kaua in the AM and gram in the PM. Hopefully, he’ll be able to visit too. I’m not sure how he’ll react to having a new baby brother.

I’m going to check my pads one more time while I try to pee again then hopefully get some shut eye.

3 cm dilated

Well the good news is I'm 3 cm dilated already. The doc doesn't think I'll go much longer. She also did the cervix membrane stripping thing, which really hurt, and I found myself reverting to some of the breathing techniques I learned in lamaze class (which helped). That's supposed to stimulate some hormone which will hopefully help labor begin.

As for a possible induction, there is no set date yet. What happens in this smallville town is that they schedule me for another week appointment (next wednesday) and if I still haven't given birth by then, they call our local hospital and see what the availability is for an induction. The local hospital only allows 2 inductions per day, so my induction date will depend upon their availability. As for whether an epidural will be available for my induction, the doctor said chances are most likely, but not 100%. She did reassure me that they will do everything possible to help me cope with the pain, should it be necessary. I decided to leave the details as to what they'll actually do for my induction for the next appointment, since she said it'll depend upon how far along I've progressed at the time. The doc also said she highly doubted that I would need an induction or even make it to next week's appointment. (Where I would be 40weeks and 5 days pregnant.) I hope she's right!!!

The bad news...it's been about 5 hours since my appointment, my cervical membrane stripping and 3cm dilation news report, and still nothing's happening. Not even losing any mucus plug today. Have had some braxton hicks and uncomfortable cramping, which can be expected with the cervix stripping thing, but nothing else. No bloody show...no nothing.

Hmm, maybe this baby wants to wait for my birthday to appear (my birthday is this saturday, the 6th), but I really dont want to share.

Induction questions.

Can concentrate at work! Keep logging onto babycenterdotcom to read about other people's experiences with upcoming due dates and labor signs, symptoms, or lack thereof. I think based upon my research on google, it is more common that women give birth beyond their due dates than before, but I'm not really sure how accurate the statistics are that I've read. All I know is this suspense is killing me. I really thought that I'd have a baby by now. Although my EDD is still 3 days away, I'm getting so impatient. Not only am I fed up with all the discomfort, fatigue, etc., i'm also getting nervous about having to be induced. I had planned to last as a long as I could without pain medication, but if I have to be induced, I may not have much of a fighting chance without pain meds. Should I then schedule to have my induction off island where an epidural will be certain? Or if I'm induced here, will we also be able to schedule an anethesiologist so that an epidural will be certain? What will they do if I have to be induced? When will I be induced. I know that my doctor has said that they do not like to let patients go beyond 41 weeks, so that means I could have an induction next week sometime.

My next doctor's appointment is tomorrow, so obviously I'll have a lot of questions and will probably have a lot of answers then. I am in uncharted territory. I'm almost to my due date, and still no baby. Just some braxton hicks which are irritating and sometimes a bit cramping and a VERY SLOW losing of my mucus plug. C'mon baby, when ya coming?

I really hope its not on my birthday.