Sleep Training - it's working!

About a few days ago we started to see some promising results of ST. Kaua has been going down to bed, recently with only a short amount of fuss - approximately 5-10 mins, then even more recently, has been going down w/o fuss!!!! Hallelujah! Unfortunately, he still isn't super consistent and there has been an occasional going to sleep with screaming, but generally, prebedtime fuss is fairly mundane and consists of blowing off steam whining/crying instead of screams. the past 3 days or so, he has gone down w/o any crying or fussing, but I have to admit that I cheat a little and stay in the room after putting him down for an extra 5 minutes or so, gently patting him and shushing him until he sleeps. I dont know if this is helping or harming the situation, but I greatly enjoy leaving the room with a sleeping baby rather than leaving the room with a crying baby.

As for MOTN, that still is a challenge, but there has been significant improvement in that department as well. He generally doesn't need a bottle anymore, but does still get up one time in the MOTN and has been inconsistent in getting back to sleep. Sometimes he'll fuss and cry for what seems like forever and at other times, he'll go back to sleep with just a small amount of shushing and patting (after picking him up to calm him down). He'll also get up a second time usually around 5am-6am and again, we've still been allowing him to co-sleep with us at this waking, only b/c we each only have about 1-2 hours left of sleep and we desparately want those precious minutes/hours (for all of us). It is sooo easy to just bring him into bed at this time and have him sleep quickly, rather than having him screaming for 20 minutes, pretty much ensuring that none of us get anymore sleep for the morning. It is upon this waking that Kaua usually asks for his first bottle of the day, and it's been working out to give it to him. I figure that he's been asleep and w/o a bottle for practically 11-12 hours, so a bottle at this time is more than necessary.

As for how we ST, I must say that having that bedtime routine is a must. I'm not super exact in how we do it, but it generally consists of bath, playtime, storytime, lullabye while rocking him with the lights off, then put him down. The playtime, storytime and lullabye with rocking is an always. The bath is sometimes done early or later, depending on where Kaua is and who is watching him. Dinner sometimes is thrown in, as well as a bottle, and these mixers to the bedtime routine dont seem to throw him off very much. I'm also not extremely strict with the clock and when he goes down to sleep, but I do try to keep everything in between 6:30-7:30pm. Occassionally, it may be later, depending on how he naps during the day. (Which is another challenge, only because there are several different people watching him on any given day, so his nap location and the way he goes down are ever changing.)

Anyway, I must say that ST was a success and we saw real results after 2 weeks.

As for bebe #2, I'm now 13 weeks and apparently out of the 1T. Time sure does fly! The doctor's visit yesterday went smoothly (despite a 45 min. delay at the office!) and bebe's heartbeat is at 160's. A little higher than Kaua, so I'm hoping that signifies a girl! I know, it's an old wives tale that girls have faster heartbeats than boys, but anything to amuse me. We're seriously considering flying to the main city to give birth because let's face it, I'm a wimp when it comes to labor and I need to have access to an epidural and they dont offer epis at the local hospital. It'll take significant planning, however, to fly to another island to give birth, in large part because I wouldn't know when to go, how long to make acommodation arrangements, how long to have a car rental, etc. Another issue is what to do with Kaua when we do go to the hospital. Here, we have family members who he's extremely comfortable with, but there, none. Both my grandma and mom have volunteered to fly up with us though, so that is a possibility, if we can work out the acommodations part.So if we can pull it off, we're going to try.

Housing situation is getting better. DH installed the wood laminate floors and it's looking wonderful. Still tons more work to do and it is pretty exhausting, especially with a toddler, but it's working out.

Oh and kaua can take several steps on his own, but STILL NO WALKING! Ugh! This boy is really taking after his mama, and may end up walking at 15 months like I did. He turned 14 months old yesterday...so we've got 1 month to get him to beat my record. lol.

Sleep Training Saga, part 2

We did ST night 6 tonight. It's been TOUGH! Because kaua is an "older" baby, the normal ST methods that I've been reading about with timed checks weren't working. Every time we went in to check on him, it'd make him scream even more. Also, because he can stand (almost walking, but not quite, he did take his first step today on his own, but quickly went down to his knees and wouldn't repeat it), he stands in his crib throwing huge tantrums when he's crying it out. I searched and searched the baby boards about sleep training for solutions because Kaua would easily be able to cry for 1 hour plus and stand the whole time. Finally, I discovered that with older babies, because they're older, they've got more stamina and can cry longer, scream louder and generally dont fare well with checks. Also, with the standing, no matter how much you go in and try to lie them back down, they'll just pop back up. I finally read several posts from other moms who've had to ST their toddler who've said that they basically do CIO-extinction method (no checks) with 1 15-20 minute check initially. I started this last night with Kaua and it seems to be the best method. He only gets more pissed whenever we check him (check = shush, pat or brief pick up put down). The only reason why we check him is to make sure he's not hurt, wet, and knows that while we mean business about him sleeping on his own in his crib, we're not abandoning him.

Kaua still cries when we put him in his crib, and cry isn't exactly the word, it's more of a scream/tantrum/rage. But the time it takes from the beginning of this process to him sleeping is slowly decreasing. It took 1 hour 15 mins. the first night and tonight it was about 1/2 an hour. He still also wakes up in the middle of the night (MOTN), but those wakes have been getting better. I'd say he wakes on average about 3 x a night. The hardest MOTN waking for him to fall back asleep is the one at the 5:00 am hour. He seems to not want to go back to sleep and is very willing to throw a tantrum until daylight appears, so I'm not quite sure what's the best way to handle this. I've resorted to letting him sleep with us for that last 1-2 hours just to get some sleep for all of us.

I'm greatly looking forward to those days when he'll go down in his crib awake and not need to throw himself a tantrum before sleeping. It is difficult to knowingly allow your kid to scream and cry in that manner for that long, but I know it will be worth it. I know that in order for this to work, however, we need to stick with the training. We've got a bed time routine down and as soon as Kaua figures out that this is the way it's going to be, I'm sure it'll get easier (I hope....).

As for the pregnancy, thanks so much for the congratulations and well wishes everyone. It seems to be going well, but I have no idea what's going on in there. I'm going by faith that all is well until my next appointment next week.

The secret's out and cry it out!

First off, I've been composing several posts but not "posting" them until I was ready to share the news. But now that the word's out (we wanted to share it with friends and family via the every popular "i'm going to be a big brother" t-shirt method which we did over the weekend), I'm going to publicly post those posts.

But yes, Kaua is going to be a big brother! I'm 10 weeks pregnant and due Aug. 5, just one day before my 32 birthday. (I'm hoping this kid doesn't come on my birthday because that'll mean I'll never have a birthday celebration again). While this pregnancy is a blessing it sure is different than my last. With a little one to take care of already, there is definitely a lot less time spent thinking about this pregnancy. Not that my love for this second child will be any less, it's just different now that it's my second. I haven't taken any belly photos, and while I am not quite flat stomached (not sure if I ever was since kaua), I'm not really showing much. I just look pudgy. I dont really feel much nausea, unless I haven't eaten breakfast in the morning (which is almost never, b/c I always eat breakfast). I did feel fatigued more than before these past few weeks, but thankfully, I've gotten my energy back. I also feel what I believe is sciatic nerve pain in my lower left back, almost near my tailbone. I'm not sure if that is sciatic pain, but I think it is. I go back to the docs to confirm all is well with this pregnancy in a couple weeks, so till then, I'm just going on faith that all is well. My first appointment to confirm the pregnancy went well, so the doc had no reason for me to come in for extra appointments.

And on to my next topic of the post. Since there is going to be a number 2 (yup, I've been referring to this child as the ever 'original' "number 2), we've decided that we really need Kaua to sleep on his own in his own crib and in his own room. We are on night number two of sleep training and we're doing a cry it out method with checks. Man-oh-man is it tough! This boy has a scream and he is strong willed. Tonight he didn't go down for about 1 hour of crying, checking, getting him to sleep for a few seconds, then repeating the cycle. Kaua like to stand in his crib to get his point across, so everytime I went back in after letting him cry for a few minutes he was standing. He cried so hard that he pretty much exhausted himself. The last time I went in to lie him back down, he protested halfheartedly and didn't attempt to rise up. He finally fell asleep around 9pm and we started this at about 7:45pm. He also woke up about 3-4 times last night and DH was the champion because he did most of the MOTN waking sessions. He also got up early with kaua to let me sleep since he knows how tired I've been. I'm hoping that tonight will be better, but who knows. DH goes back to work Friday so that'll be my first night alone with the new sleep training pattern. Yikes! But we've resolved to get this habit settled so that we dont have two kids sleeping with us. (our goal is to also not have number 2 sleep with us and we're hoping that since we have our own house, we'll be able to better manage their sleep schedule). I'm definitely not looking forward to the week ahead, but I remember when we weaned him from BFing at night it was a horrible 1 week, then everything went well since. I'm hoping the same happens with this sleep training. I know in the long run, we'll all be much happier.

Our First Pumpkin Patch

This was our first pumpkin patch experience. Here in small townville, the pumpkin patch isn't anything special, but still we had tons of fun. We went as a family and brought my two nephews ages 6 and 4 along. The boys had sooooo much fun. The pumpkin in Kaua's hand is the pumpkin we picked out to take home. My nephew picked out a small white pumpkin that looks like someone dropped it because half of it is squished in. But that's the one my nephew wanted so that's the one he got. It definitely has character.

In other news, Kaua is going to be ELEVEN months old tomorrow and Gosh, where does the time go? We are in full blast party planning mode here because, in Hawaii, the first year celebration is a big deal. We're having a typical baby lu'au. My family is making the food, kalua pig, lomi salmon, my favorite - luau stew, chicken long rice and possibly poi. My brother is doing the pupus (appetizers) and since I'm a beer drinker, I'm ordering a keg. I've hired a really good (so I've heard) children's magician and am in the midst of hiring a spray on tattoo artist. I gotta get started on the slideshow which will document Kaua's life. I'm also possibly going to dance a hula. The theme is Hawaiian rainforest because Kaua is named after the rain in our old home town. It's going to be fun, but man, party planning is soo not my favorite.

Also new on our radar is house hunting. We have found a great fixer upper in a great neighborhood here and it's a FSBO (for sale by owner) which means the price is great too. It's our first time working without realtors so it is a little unnerving, but I'm confident that we can do it. The seller seems just as wary and both of us our educated so together we'll make it happen. The great thing is he's motivated to sell and he's not into making tons of money, so he's been pretty easy to negotiate with. We may be in escrow by the end of the week and hopefully in our own home in a couple months, but I dont want to jinx it, so enough on that.

And we come to the NIGHTS! Like I've posted before, I'm trying to wean Kaua off the boobie so that he's completely boobie free by 1. I've pretty much got it down to no breastfeeding during the day and only at night. This past week, we've been trying to cutdown at night too and man-oh-man is he soooo not having any of that. He has really come to rely on breastfeeding himself back to sleep when he wakes up at night, and when he isn't able to, he throws a fit. Like full on top of your lung screaming. And he wakes up, A LOT. It's really sucky. Really. I've given him bottles and after the 3rd night of screaming or so, he'll finally take it, and wow, can he drink. The night before last he drank 12 oz at night! last night, I couldn't deal with it. It had been 7 nights in a row of THE HORROR and I gave in and let him nurse. Let me tell you, a whole heck of a lot less screaming and crying, but still, he got up a ton. Ugh, ugh, ugh. i have never been so sleep deprived before. This is way more difficult than when he was a newborn.

Anyways, yup, being a mommy is hard. Hard, hard, hard. But it's all worth it, because that little rugrat. He's priceless.

Sleep Training Saga...

Well there's good news and not so good news (well it's all good news in my book, but anyway).

1) The sleep training was successful. Sorta. After the 2nd night (after my last post where Kaua took over 1 hour to sleep, then finally went down with grandma's help), he slept all the way till 3 am then got up to nurse. And man oh man, were my boobies soooooorrrreee from all that waiting! The 3rd night, Kaua went to sleep after only 15 MINUTES!!! AND on top of that, ONLY 7 MINUTES of those 15 were actually crying minutes. The rest were just fussing minutes. AND the 4th night, psshh, my professional sleeper fell asleep after ONLY 7 MINUTES OF JUST FUSSING --- NO CRYING! Whew pat myself on the back, huh?

2) ok, here's the bad news. Since then, we haven't been able to sleep train because our schedules have been such that we haven't been home around Kaua's sleep times, so he's had to fall asleep either in his carseat, or in my arms after nursing, etc. So all that loveliness.....is out the door. We try again.

3) and here's more bad news. Even though the ST was going well on nights 3 and 4, Kaua still got up more often through out the night. Before he was 3 months old, he'd only get up 1 or 2 a night to nurse. But lately, and even on nights 3 and 4 of the ST, he's been getting up four or five times a night. He'll get up once before 12 am and about every 2-3 hours thereafter. It's insane! I read that sometimes, babies just kinda fuss, then go back to sleep, so I should wait it out for a few minutes to see if he's actually up...and yup, each time he is.

So what has all this getting up in the middle of the night business led to? more CO-SLEEPING! Ugh. I know, I know. I'm a bad mommy. But who the heck wants to get up 4-5x a night, sit up, nurse their baby, then wait 10-20 minutes for him to fall back asleep and pray that when you put him in his crib he doesn't get back up? Not me! So when he first gets up? I bring him right into our bed, pop that old booby out, he nurses, and we both fall asleep. It's bliss..till he gets up in 2 hours wanting to nurse all over again!

Ugh!

So tonight I'm trying a different approach. We've added rice cereal to his meal repetoire (spelling?). I know, its a smidge early (he'll be 4 months old on Saturday)...but I think he's ready. He's huge, probably over 16 pounds by now and in 6 month old clothes already. He's eating like crazy and I think he's ready. I also know that feeding rice cereal isn't a cure all for sleeping through the night, but I think in this case, it could help. We'll see. I only added a tiny spoonful to breast milk tonight, to see how his tummy would take it. He chomped it up like a champ, not even batting an eyelash when sucking down the bottle, and fell asleep shortly thereafter on the carride home, so I think we're doing ok in that department. The test will be to see how many times he gets up tonight.


If he does well, we'll slowly increase the amount and go back to the sleep training. I'll work on the co-sleeping thing sometime in between all of these big plans......

Sleep Training Begins

I've begun Sleep Training! Ugh! (For those wanting to learn more about it, see this helpful thread on babycenter). http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a199215/teaching_your_baby_toddler_to_sleep

I decided to start ST with Kaua because I'll be going back to work part time starting next week. (Yup, I got a job!!! And yay, it's part time...3 days a week!) Kaua sleeps very early (approximately 6:30pm-7pm) and because I have hula two nights a week from 5:30pm to 7pm, there may be some nights when he'll probably need to be put to sleep without me. Also, normally, Kaua will only fall asleep after nursing or by rocking him to sleep. This takes a toll on me because it takes him a while to fall into a deep enough sleep where I can transfer him to his crib. I want him to learn how to self soothe himself to sleep so that I can just put him in his crib and not have to worry about him waking up immediately (which would then necessitate another round of rocking him into a deep sleep. This pattern can take anywhere from 1 to 2 hours to actually get him to sleep).

Anyways, through sleep training, Kaua is supposed to be able to sleep longer through the night and have better naps, and of course, learn how to fall asleep on his own, without rocking or nursing.

So tonight was night number 2 of the sleep training, and man is it awful!!!

Last night, the first night wasn't so bad, but I think it's because I cheated. Kaua ate at about 5pm and appeared tired around 6:30pm, which is his usual sleep time. So I rocked him to sleep then went to put him in his crib, but he woke up. I did not feel like rocking him to sleep for another half hour, so I decided, ST was going to begin that night. I left him alone and initially he was cruising around in his crib just staring at his mobile. He eventually got tired of that and started crying (which would normally prompt me to pick him up). I let him cry and went in to check on him and patt/reassure him to calm him down every 5 minutes (as instructed by the sleep training method I'm following). In between the checks, I logged onto the babycenter thread for more information and encouragement. That's when I learned that there are different types of cries a baby makes and realized that I had been patting and reassuring Kaua during whats known as the "mantra" cry which is a big no-no, in the sleep training instructions. So last night I probably prolonged his sleep because I had essentially been waking him up instead of helping him to fall asleep during some of my checks/pats. Anyways, to make a long story short, last night he eventually seemed to fall asleep on his own 45 minutes after I first tried the sleep training. Not bad I have to say!! But 20 minutes later, he woke back up and sounded pissed. By this time, it was about 7:50pm and since he had last ate at 5pm I believed he was probably hungry. So, I picked him up, nursed him and he was fast asleep in about 10 minutes. So I'm not sure if any of that sleep training stuff actually worked last night.

Tonight, I waited to nurse Kaua until just before his bedtime at 6:30pm (so I knew he was full when I started is sleep training). Then when he was finished nursing and almost sleeping I put him in his crib. Of course, he woke up when I put him down, but he just kinda hung out in his crib for 10 minutes. Then he got bored and started fussing. When no one went to pick him up, he started crying. After about 10-15 minutes, I went in to pat and reassure him to calm him down. I did this twice and each time, he would become calm, but as soon as I left, he would resume crying. When 7:45pm rolled around, he was still crying hysterically, I went in to pat him a 3rd time. But it didn't work; he continued to scream at me, essentially saying, "why wont you pick me up mommy?" It was so heartbreaking. My DH came in and we both tried to pat him to calm him down, but he wasn't having it. Finally, I gave in and picked him up. He continued crying, as if in an acusatory manner and DH was a little distressed so he asked to hold Kaua. We got him to calm down and went into the computer room to read online as to what we should be doing. At this point, my mom came in to see if she could help. While I perused the thread, my mom took Kaua and rocked him back to a drowsy state. Because he was so tired, he was almost asleep in her arms in 2 minutes. So she took him to his crib and put him down. He fussed a little, but she stayed patting him through the fussing and in about 2 more minutes he fell fast asleep.

Again, I'm not sure if we did the correct way of sleep training tonight because like last night, Kaua basically had some assistance in going to sleep. But I'm hoping this will eventually evolve into us putting Kaua into his crib and him falling asleep on his own. I dont want to wait till he's older because by then he'll be able to roll around and will be able to throw even bigger tantrums.

It's awful to hear him crying like that and I feel like an awful parent to let him cry. I wonder if Kaua has thoughts of abandonment or fear and it makes me so sad to think he may be having such feelings. But reading the posts in the baby center thread is very encouraging because many other moms are going through the same things. I know in the end this is the best thing for him because he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own.....

I'll keep you updated on our sleep training chronicles.