Wow, it's been over a month since I last blogged, maybe even 2 months! Ho'ea is now 4 months old, and Kaua is 2! Here are pictures of the two brothers.
I'm writing because I'm feeling a little sorry for myself, and needing a place or outlet to vent. (Commencing pity party...)
Ever since moving back to my hometown with my hubby, we've had a difficult time adjusting. Part of it was because we had a baby (now we have 2) and were adjusting to being parents and not putting our wants first, but a very large part of it was because we left most (if not all) of our friends. I thought that in time, we would make new friends, or re-acquaint with old friends, and continue to lead the very active social life that we left behind. But here we are, going on 2 years now, and we have not yet found friends like we had or reconnvened a full social calendar like we used to have.
I'm not sure if it's because we are parents now and we just haven't had the opportunities to make friends, or if its myself and my husband that are some how inadequate, or if its because this place is a small town and people have already established their groups and dont need "extra" friends. A lot of the friends I had in high school are still here, and we do get together on occasion, but social events are extremely few and far between, and many of my friends are in different stages of their lives (ie. they had children much younger than we did, so they're doing sporting events etc with their pre-adolescent/teen kids) so we have not a lot of ground to connect with or bond over.
Anyways, hubby and I just have not quite gotten into our groove socially. Our social activities primarily revolve around events with my family, and while these are often and usually fun, we still miss our own "adult" time. There are times when even my family has their own things going on, and on nights like tonight, when DH is away at work, it's just me and the boys. As I type right now, I'm enjoying my 2nd beer while my 2 year old, Kaua, watches xmas cartoons and my 4 month old, Ho'ea sleeps. It's quite nice, actually, with my xmas tree and lights going, but I do miss having someone to hang with that is an adult once in a while.
I'm not sure if things would be drastically different if we hadn't moved, (meaning our social lives still would have probably declined due to kid obligations), but I do know that we both had several groups of friends who were also having children the same time that we did, so it would have been nice to have these friends to "commiserate" with, socialize with, etc.
Anyways, I'm not sure if there is an answer to this post. I do know that each of us are our own masters of our happiness, and if something isn't making us happy, then we should go out and do something about it...and I'm actually trying to do just that..(ie. joining an activity group)....I'm just not sure if I'm seeing any results. (I do admit that I am sort of quiet and shy at my chosen activity group -- hula-- but only because I'm not quite the most talented hula dancer, and so I find that my insecurity in dancing transcends into having a shy personna as well.)
With that being said, I wonder if all parents find the adjustmet from constant social outings to stay-at-home mommy/daddy a bit lonely, or if what I'm feeling is more unique, especially since my motherhood came just 2 weeks prior to a large move?
