Thanks to fellow blogger, Amy, I was reminded of a very important scripture that I'm going to re-read every day (as I've wrote it on a post-it and put it on my work computer where I sit all day long). It says:
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8.
I've been having a constant battle with fear and worry. It's tough, when you've had two prior MCs, there's a fear that it will happen again. I look at my TP every time I wipe to see if there's blood. When I feel "moisture" down there, I have to resist the urge to go "check" to see if its blood, and I admit, sometimes the urge gets the best of me. I get nervous when I dont "feel" any symptoms. I replay the last ultra sound I had where the technician was silent, then excused herself to go get the doctor, who then told me I was a "mist" or someone who they were not sure if I was just 3 weeks behind or miscarrying.
But I must and do consciously choose to push these thoughts out of my head. I choose to cast aside my fears and my worries. I remind myself to be "strong in faith...fully persuaded that what God has promised, He is able to perform!" Romans 4:20-21. I know that I am blessed, and the fruit of my womb, this little baby is blessed. I just need to focus on those thoughts for six more days.
On the pregnancy symptom front, I think I felt more morning sickness than usual as I was getting ready for work this morning, but thankfully, the feelings have subsided. I've noticed that the two times I felt really sick were both times when I wasn't satisfied with what I had for breakfast. Today I practically gagged when I ate this mango relish recipie thing that I got from WTEWE. The nips are not as sensitive today, but I swear, both me and DH thought they looked larger than usual last night. Still peeing often, feeling thirsty often, and hungry every few hours. I may have had constipation for the last couple of days b/c everytime I feel like going, when I get there, I just sorta sit (TMI, i know) without much "productivity" so to speak. I'm not sure, I've never really had constipation, but I imagine that this is probably a mild case of it.
6 more days!!!
Your symptoms sound just like mine! woohoo! We're pregnant! Don't you dare let that devil make it into your head that you need to worry about a m/c! This baby is a BLESSING! And God's gonna see you through! Hooray! 6 more days! Can't wait for update!!!
ReplyDeleteYour fears and anxiety will likely always be a part of this process but I commend you for actively recognizing it and filling that space with hope. That's all we can do. And just an FYI, I am 27 weeks and still check the TP.
ReplyDeleteYou sounds pregnant to me! Go get root beer! Just sugary and nothing else so drink away!
Only 5 more days now!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see baby's first picture!
Good luck to you!!!
Thinking of you...and counting down the days 'til you get to 'meet' your little bean (on u/s at least!). You are describing my worries and anxieties exactly, it is *so* normal. Incessant TP checking, wondering if this feeling or that feeling is normal... it's enough to drive a person mad! :) Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteIt must be difficult not to be anxious when you have had previous MCs. That verse is so special - I need to remind myself that God is always with me even when it doesn't feel like it.
ReplyDeleteI just came across you blog and it was exactly what I needed to read! I 4w 6d pregnant, and have had 2 previous miscarriages. I had my HCG levels tests this past week and they were good and doubled, but I am still not convinced everything in fine yet. I am trying not to be a nervous wreck until my first ultrasound on April 20th. It looks like we are about 1-2 weeks apart. Good Luck on your ultrasound this week, I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I could be of some encouragement. I'm so glad to hear that things are going well. I'll continue to pray for you!
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