4th of July

Well, I made it! We're 18 weeks pregnant today! Just two more weeks till the halfway point!

And although I tried not to dwell on it, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my first MC. On the 4th of July, last year, it was just a few days after I had found out I was pregnant for the first time ever in my life, and the first time I MC. I remember it painfully clearly. DH and I had plans to go out with some friends to a fair later that day to celebrate the 4th of July. It was about 9am in the morning and I was just lying on the couch, when I felt wetness between my legs down there. I touched it and looked and saw blood. I went to the bathroom and wiped, and sure enough, bright red blood. My heart sank, and I showed DH. We called the advice nurse and they told me to take it easy, put my feet up and to come in to the emergency room if the bleeding got really heavy (like filling a pad in more than 1 hour). We called off our 4th of July plans, and decided to stay home. We both were terrified. I bled throughout the day, but it wasn't really bad. It was more just like a period, except we both knew it was a miscarriage. We waited the next day, a Saturday (when our clinic was open) and went in. The doctor (who eventually became my current Dr. M) confirmed it. I had miscarried. He also stated that my cervix was closed and hard, indicating that I hadn't been that far along and the miscarriage was likely already over. (I estimate I was only about 5.5 weeks pregnant). I wouldn't even have known I was pregnant and would have just thought my period was late by a week or two if I hadn't taken a pregnancy test. This was so devastating, because we had told everyone when I was pregnant, and now had to untell everyone. It was awful.

So needless to say, yesterday was a little daunting for me. We had plans to hang out with the same group of friends at the beach yesterday. On our drive over, I mentioned it to my DH - the fact that it was a year ago since our first MC, and he scolded me for thinking negative and said he remembered himself. We were both a little saddened, but decided not to let it get to us. We have a healthy little boy growing in my belly, and that's all we were focused on.

Well yesterday, the 4th of July, 2009, went off without a hitch. Well, I did start noticing some of the aches that comes along in pregnancy when staying out all day and evening at the beach to watch the fireworks, but it's still bearable. DH had suggested I bring a blanket and pillow to lie out, and I thought I'd be fine, but as the day wore on I realized he was right. Luckily, we have friends who have a baby girl (born Dec. 11, 2008) who brought all the amenities (pillows, blankets, cot, mattress), so I was able to relax using their stuff. DH and I both commented to ourselves that by this time next year, we'll have a little six month old of our own, just like they did! Crazy!

Well, we made it - we got through the 4th of July and our little firecracker's heart is still beating away. (Or so I'm assuming and relying on by faith, since I dont actually have a doppler to check). But I think I felt him move a little yesterday and today, so we're all good. Just a little over 1 week and a half till our next PNA where we'll get to hear the firecracker's heartbeat again. My friend who has the 6 month old daughter said she first started feeling her daughter's movements at 19 weeks, so I've got about a week or two more to go before I should start really feeling him. I even think I wont be feeling real noticeable movements till weeks 22-24. Can't wait. =)

And here's a parting photo of my 18 week belly. I'm really starting to look pregnant and people who dont know are asking how far along I am (but only when I wear tight fitting tops, they cant tell if I wear loose tops). I consider these people brave, b/c really, what if I was just gaining a ton of weight?? (Which I swear I am, my butt and thighs cant fit into anything!!)
36 inches!