Unsolicited Advice

As I slowly become more comfortable with my "situation" I've begun sharing my story with my close circle of friends. I'm the first one that I know of this group to encounter "difficulty" in the childbirth/bearing department. (hooray me!) It's been great, sharing my "situation" because it feels as if I'm revealing my true self. It was difficult, not sharing the most important thing and events in my life with those close to me. I felt as if I wasn't being me. However, along with sharing my story with individuals who have absolutely NO IDEA what it's like to go through consecutive losses and be unable to TTC not by choice, I get the occasionial unsolicited advice. Of course, i know that this advice comes from a place that means only well.

One of the first awkward situations arose when my uncle asked - "so you have cancer??? Dont worry, you can beat it." (He said this lovingly, because he actually had cancer and beat it). Somehow, he got this notion from my dad who freaked out when he heard that my hyperplasia condition could be precancerous. (Clarification -- the case of hyperplasia I have is simple w/o atypia, which is basically the slightest form you can have. 99% of the cases my doctor treats like mine have resolved completley after 3 months of BCPs. And according to my research, only about 1% of these cases actually go on to be cancerous. Hyperplasia is NOT cancer, it is an abnormal growth of the uterus lining caused by excessive estrogen in the system. Apparently, the cells are a bit abnormal too, and any abnormal cells are a cause of concern b/c cancer is abnormal cells.)

Another uncomfortable unsolicited advice situation I just received this mornign; it was a reference to this website - fertilityblend.com. I briefly checked it out, and saw that it was what I thought it was - a blend of herbs/drugs to help someone who is having difficulty conceiving and/or to maintain a healthy pregnancy. I politely thanked the person for referring me to the website (which she learned about while working at the local bridal expo this past weekend) but explained that in my case, I dont have difficulty conceiving, it was the shape of my uterus that caused me to miscarry twice after conceiving. I also re-explained to her that luckily, I had a surgery to correct this problem and should have no further problems during pregnancy. (I omitted to re-explain the hyperplasia condition which is keeping me from TTC right now, because I thought that would be all too much info to keep track of for someone who is very very far from babymaking land).

Anyways, I felt sort of embarrassed to be referred to this website. I dont know exactly why. I guess it's because precisely what I dont want to happen is happening. People are looking at me and thinking - "poor thing, she cannot have babies, how can we help?" - or something to that effect. I hate feeling pitied. I know, I know, I have no idea if that's what she was really thinking, but in my paranoid state of mind....that's what I'm imagining.

Ah well, hopefully in 22 days this will all be over and by the end of the year I'll be a mother.

Post-operation follow up appt.

Saw Dr. M again today for a post operation follow up appointment. We discussed his findings. He showed me pictures from my surgery. I saw my septate uterus and both openings to my fallopian tubes (which he said were very good and not blocked whatso ever, yippee!) He explained how the septate most likely caused my miscarriages and that I was probably born with this condition. He said usually, in a septate uterus, the baby implants onto the septate (which it likely did in my case since the septate was a big round mound instead of a thin septate which is more normal in septate uterus) and because the septate is not filled with blood, it causes the baby to be unable to develop. He also noted how in my case, the baby did not seem to develop beyond six weeks, which he also said is very common for individuals with a septate uterus. He said that he shaved down the septate, and while my uterus isn't in the perfect shape it should be, the septate has been shaved down very considerably. He said he felt very positive at my chances for a normal healthy pregnancy the next time we get pregnant. (hallelujah!!!)

Now, he did say that I have to remain on the BCPs for three months. Because he also found some hyperplasia in my uterus, he said the BCPs would be the most effective method to treat it. He also said he preferred for me to treat with BCPs rather than progesterone (which is the other option for treating hyperplasia) because the BCPs will also help prevent scarring from the surgery. He said the type of hyperplasia I have is simple and in 99% of the cases he's treated hyperplasia like mine, it went away in 3 months. (So I'm praying that it goes away...which I'm absolutely sure it will, God is on my side for this, I can feel it!)

So, the plan is, I go back in February, and we do a biopsy to make sure the hyperplasia hasn't returned. I stay on the BCPs till then. I've accepted th wait and am praying for a March BFP so that I can have a Christmas 2009 baby!!!!

Good news and bad news about the surgery, mostly good news:

Yesterday’s surgery was relatively a success. The doctor went in and did what he needed to do. He indicated that what we thought was a 2cm fibroid, ended up being a subseptate uterus. (See pic below...the white is the uterine cavity, the pointy black thing is a septate and no this is not my uterus).

In other words, my utering cavity was more shaped like a heart rather than the upside down triagle it should be. He also stated that the base of the septate (the part sticking into the uterus that should not be there) was fairly broad, which showed up on the HSG (the ultrasound) as what appeared to be a fibroid. The doctor was able to remove the septate and restore my uterus cavity back to a more normal appearance. He also found what he described as a fluffly fibrous menstrual lining on the left side of my uterus and performed a curettage, scraping out this lining as well.

They sent all tissue to a lab to be checked for cancer. This fluffly lining returned back as hyperplasia, which is thickened and excessive growth of the uterus lining. (here's a link with more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometrial_hyperplasia). Hyperplasia is also known to cause spotting in between periods, cause miscarriages and prevent pregnancy. I had recently begun spotting since my last period and feeling a little bit of pressure in my uterus, which we thought was due to the fibroid (those are common symptoms of the type of fibroid I have). Since I did not actually have a fibroid, he said the hyperplasia was the cause of the spotting and pressure. He said that hyperplasia, if left untreated, can become cancerous. We already removed the hyperplasia, but to prevent its return, my treatment options are either birth control pills or progesterone. He had already prescribed me one month of birth control pills to help reduce any chance of scarring in the uterus (which could also prevent pregnancy). Because I had the hyperplasia, he said I should stay on the pills for three months, instead of the one. He also wants to do a biopsy after three months to make sure the hyperplasia didn’t come back.

Physically, I’m feeling fine. I had some bleeding yesterday, after the surgery, and today, the bleeding has been very very light. The cramping is very minimal. For instance, on a pain scale of 1-10, I’d say it was a 2 at best. I was able to return to work for a full day the very next day.
So, while this was a successful surgery, my hopes of trying to get pregnant and become pregnant are extended by another month or so, till March (I knew I’d have to wait at least two months before trying after the surgery anyways). There is also a chance of the hyperplasia returning, but I’m thinking it’s not likely. I’m still continuing to pray (as I have been about everything going smoothly) and I have faith that everything will turn out alright. I still have hopes and have the utmost faith that I will become a mom someday soon, perhaps by the end of next year!!

On an interesting note, I actually woke up during the surgery. I didn’t feel any pain, but could feel something going on down there. I couldn’t see the doctor though, because a sheet was between us. I remember looking at the monitor and asking them to bring my glasses so I could watch (the doctor used a hysteroscope to see what he was doing during the surgery and used the monitor to see what he was doing). They must have put me back out, because the next thing I remember is waking up while they were wheeling me to the recovery room. The anesthesiologist said I was cute because I kept asking for my glasses. Lol. I’m so intrigued with learning all about my condition, I guess, despite being heavily sedated and being queasy with blood, I still wanted to learn and to see what was going on.

Stay tuned for more, on the trials and tribulations of my journey to motherhood!