Sleep Training Begins

I've begun Sleep Training! Ugh! (For those wanting to learn more about it, see this helpful thread on babycenter). http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a199215/teaching_your_baby_toddler_to_sleep

I decided to start ST with Kaua because I'll be going back to work part time starting next week. (Yup, I got a job!!! And yay, it's part time...3 days a week!) Kaua sleeps very early (approximately 6:30pm-7pm) and because I have hula two nights a week from 5:30pm to 7pm, there may be some nights when he'll probably need to be put to sleep without me. Also, normally, Kaua will only fall asleep after nursing or by rocking him to sleep. This takes a toll on me because it takes him a while to fall into a deep enough sleep where I can transfer him to his crib. I want him to learn how to self soothe himself to sleep so that I can just put him in his crib and not have to worry about him waking up immediately (which would then necessitate another round of rocking him into a deep sleep. This pattern can take anywhere from 1 to 2 hours to actually get him to sleep).

Anyways, through sleep training, Kaua is supposed to be able to sleep longer through the night and have better naps, and of course, learn how to fall asleep on his own, without rocking or nursing.

So tonight was night number 2 of the sleep training, and man is it awful!!!

Last night, the first night wasn't so bad, but I think it's because I cheated. Kaua ate at about 5pm and appeared tired around 6:30pm, which is his usual sleep time. So I rocked him to sleep then went to put him in his crib, but he woke up. I did not feel like rocking him to sleep for another half hour, so I decided, ST was going to begin that night. I left him alone and initially he was cruising around in his crib just staring at his mobile. He eventually got tired of that and started crying (which would normally prompt me to pick him up). I let him cry and went in to check on him and patt/reassure him to calm him down every 5 minutes (as instructed by the sleep training method I'm following). In between the checks, I logged onto the babycenter thread for more information and encouragement. That's when I learned that there are different types of cries a baby makes and realized that I had been patting and reassuring Kaua during whats known as the "mantra" cry which is a big no-no, in the sleep training instructions. So last night I probably prolonged his sleep because I had essentially been waking him up instead of helping him to fall asleep during some of my checks/pats. Anyways, to make a long story short, last night he eventually seemed to fall asleep on his own 45 minutes after I first tried the sleep training. Not bad I have to say!! But 20 minutes later, he woke back up and sounded pissed. By this time, it was about 7:50pm and since he had last ate at 5pm I believed he was probably hungry. So, I picked him up, nursed him and he was fast asleep in about 10 minutes. So I'm not sure if any of that sleep training stuff actually worked last night.

Tonight, I waited to nurse Kaua until just before his bedtime at 6:30pm (so I knew he was full when I started is sleep training). Then when he was finished nursing and almost sleeping I put him in his crib. Of course, he woke up when I put him down, but he just kinda hung out in his crib for 10 minutes. Then he got bored and started fussing. When no one went to pick him up, he started crying. After about 10-15 minutes, I went in to pat and reassure him to calm him down. I did this twice and each time, he would become calm, but as soon as I left, he would resume crying. When 7:45pm rolled around, he was still crying hysterically, I went in to pat him a 3rd time. But it didn't work; he continued to scream at me, essentially saying, "why wont you pick me up mommy?" It was so heartbreaking. My DH came in and we both tried to pat him to calm him down, but he wasn't having it. Finally, I gave in and picked him up. He continued crying, as if in an acusatory manner and DH was a little distressed so he asked to hold Kaua. We got him to calm down and went into the computer room to read online as to what we should be doing. At this point, my mom came in to see if she could help. While I perused the thread, my mom took Kaua and rocked him back to a drowsy state. Because he was so tired, he was almost asleep in her arms in 2 minutes. So she took him to his crib and put him down. He fussed a little, but she stayed patting him through the fussing and in about 2 more minutes he fell fast asleep.

Again, I'm not sure if we did the correct way of sleep training tonight because like last night, Kaua basically had some assistance in going to sleep. But I'm hoping this will eventually evolve into us putting Kaua into his crib and him falling asleep on his own. I dont want to wait till he's older because by then he'll be able to roll around and will be able to throw even bigger tantrums.

It's awful to hear him crying like that and I feel like an awful parent to let him cry. I wonder if Kaua has thoughts of abandonment or fear and it makes me so sad to think he may be having such feelings. But reading the posts in the baby center thread is very encouraging because many other moms are going through the same things. I know in the end this is the best thing for him because he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own.....

I'll keep you updated on our sleep training chronicles.